Post # 1
I got married a couple of months ago and I had purchased all of my bridesmaid dresses. Now one of my bridesmaid is asking the other bridesmaid to borrow dresses for her friend’s bridesmaid whose wedding is coming up later this year. The only thing is it’s not a big deal to re-use the dresses that I had purchased for another wedding but I can’t help feeling annoyed. I find both the bridesmaid and her friend slightly annoying. Am I wrong?
Post # 3
Are you friends with your BM’s friend? Very odd thing to do. Probably your BM’s who are being asked are even more annoyed. I mean, I guess maybe not technically wrong, but I understand feeling annoyed. Its just a very weird thing to do. Maybe it is so annoying because they were gifts, meant to be worn on your special day then on occasions afterwards, when they would still have that special conotation. Maybe it feels so weird because now they will be associated with someone else’s wedding?
I’m a little flabergasted, actually, it is so weird. I totaly understand the need to save money right now, but there are so many easy alternatives without being so … weird!
Post # 4
Thank you for responding! I feel so much better knowing that I’m not the only one to find it annoying or weird! I’m not friends with my BM’s friend and even if I was I’d still feel uncomfortable about it. I will tell my bridesmaids how I feel and accept their decision to whether lend their dresses or not. Again, thanks and good luck with your wedding/marriage!
Post # 5
I’d personally be really upset. That is incosiderate and completely rude. I say, if they are going to do that then someone needs to pay you back for those dresses. You bought them to be used for YOUR wedding – not some other girls.
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2009 - St. Thomas of Villanova Church & the F.U.E.L. House
It sounds like she really should be asking you, not the other bridesmaid! If she did this, would you be inclined to say yes? Maybe suggest selling them to her at a discount? Just an idea!
Post # 7
I don’t know, I personally think it’s pretty weird and I get where you’re coming from. But my MOH had suggested that she wished she hadn’t donated it b/c she would suggest I use the dress she wore (b/c it matched my colors) in another wedding of someone I barely know. And she even said that the other bride thought I should try to borrow everyone else’s dress rather than have my BP buy new ones. It was kind of a non-issue b/c my MOH didn’t even have the dress to show me (and it was way more expensive than I’d make my other BP members buy), but even though I thought it sounded really strange apparently neither she nor her friend thought it was. I jsut thought I’d put this out tehre as another viewpoint…even though I’m with you on feeling I’d be annoyed and uncomfortable as well.
Post # 8
So i sent an e-mail to express my feelings and this is what I got from the BM:
actually i told my friend about the dresses and it was my idea to see whether the other bridesmaids would be ok lending their dress. i suppose it’s good to know how you feel about this situation to know what type of person you are in regards to this matter. 1st- i don’t remember sending out this email to you, maybe i did, who knows. and honestly at this point, i don’t see how it pertains to you unless the dresses were still yours. 2st- like you said, it’s up to the other bridesmaids since they’re the owners of the dresses now. 3rd- i suppose in being courteous and delicate about the situation, i should’ve asked your opinion but it never occurred to me that it would be a big deal. lesson learned for future references.
anyway, sounds to me like you do understand the end point of it and it’s up to the girls to decide. so that’s all.
She then proceeded to call the other bridesmaids selfish for saying no and me for expressing my selfish opinion. *sigh* If I only made this up. So much drama. Thanks everyone for your comments and suggestions. I really appreciate it. I also appreciate the different point of view as well. It helps me understand that not everyone care about little details. I’m just glad the drama is after the wedding and not before. This BM flaked out on countless occasions that she said she would come to help and was not there for me. She didn’t even show up to the rehearsal dinner! She gave me a stupid speech and recited cheesy marriage advice and jokes she pull off the internet that I found embarrassing. All that didn’t matter because I’m blessed to have my other friends to help and support me. Now this? When will wedding drama end?