(Closed) Bridesmaid Dresses and Issues

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3001 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@katydid271:  Have you asked her what her budget is? I’d think about pitching in to cover part of the cost for her and say that you appreciate her thinking of other options for you and will keep it in mind.

Post # 4
Member
335 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

If I were in your position I would offer to pay for her dress if she cant afford where you are shopping.  She is going to be family and you want to start off on the right foot witj no resentment on either of your parts. But thats just me 🙂

Post # 5
Member
9062 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2012

Why don’t you give your bridesmaids a color swatch (Or at least very specific colors) and allow them to pick their own dresses? That way, they get something they can afford, and you can get something in the color you want.

Post # 6
Member
7653 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Why are SILs always the ones that fight the decisions? Anyway, are your bridesmaids agreeing on a dress? If you are ok with them wearing all different dresses, but the same color then I would have FSIL pick out her own dress from whereever she wants, but in the color you chose or maybe pick out a few different ideas and let he choose amongst them. Honestly, I went through this with my SIL, so I know where you are coming from. If you bend on one thing you will bend on the rest though. My SIL wasn’t happen no matter what and almost dropped out of the wedding because of the dress choice.

Post # 7
Member
503 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I think it’s nice to keep BM costs down.  There are lots of nice dresses at lower price points, especially for a wear-once item.  If you must have expensive dresses, it’s nice to subsidize the cost.  You just have to decide how important it is to you have a certain dress if its beyond what your BMs can afford. 

That being said, I totally agree with you about buying dresses online, especially on amazon – if there’s a store you know, I’d say go for it, but a random seller?  There’s no way to know!  If you’re open to less expensive dresses, try David’s Bridal, or a regular department store.  Or – and this is a favorite idea of mine – mismatched dresses.  That way people can spend what they want.  You can still go as a group to try thigns on and get an idea for color and fabric and style, but the final decision can be up to them!

Post # 8
Member
853 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

They can be in nice dresses in the color you want – but at a price that’s reasonable / attainable for them! Ask the ladies what their budget is.

Also, you said you “don’t want to compromise what [you] want for [your] BMs for [your] FSIL.” I thought she WAS a BM? Either you accept her wholeheartedly as a BM or you ask her to step down. Make sure she feels included, not invited out of obligation – that’s not likely to make her more accommodating.

Post # 10
Member
2023 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I honestly bet she could find the same dress that you want online somewhere for cheaper.  Amazon, eBay, and the weddingbee classifieds are great ways to buy awesome gowns for 1/2 the price!  I say go for it.  Maybe she can try it on in stores and then find it online?

Post # 12
Member
3001 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@katydid271:  Are you looking at eggplant?? My BMs got their dresses for $97 at Alfred Angelo!

Post # 15
Member
11753 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@katydid271:  No you’re not being a bridezilla but if she can’t afford the dress you pick, I suggest helping her out with it. You don’t have to mention it to the other girls or anything. We are doing this with a few of our bridal party members.

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