Bridesmaid Dresses Came In…OH NO!

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1491 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@MissGoosie:  Need a pic, that would help.

 I mean, if it is just too much cleavage, you could request that she put in a modesty panel or something.  As the bride you have absolute authority over the dresses.  

My input though is that you cover the cost of any “extra” modifications that you might based on “too much boobage” concerns.  

Post # 4
Member
435 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

@PeachSnapple:  +1. If you are uncomfortable with it, have it altered. But I do think you should pay for the alteration not her.

Post # 5
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@MissGoosie: keep in mind that if they ordered the same size as the size of the sample and the sample’s a bit larger, it’s possible that the sample was a bit stretched out from all the try-ons. Do you have pics of the girl in the dress? If she’s able to wear a bra with the dress, it’s probably fine. 

If you’re uncomfortable with the state of the dress, I’d address it privately with the BM in question. Try to focus on the difference in what you expected (sample) and what was delivered (the actual dress). As a busty girl, I feel uncomfortable when someone points out “boobs all over the place” because there’s not much I can do about it, short of reduction surgery. 

@PeachSnapple: has a good idea, with you covering the cost of extra modifications to address the cleavage concerns.

 

Post # 7
Member
2891 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@MissGoosie:  Not a problem! I feel for your BM — I’m a size 0 / 2 pants and a 32DDD up top — and you, since cleavage / body issues are tricky.

The problem with dresses is that things that fit up top tend too have too big arm holes, too broad shoulders and hang like a sack — alterations can easily run $200 to rebuild the bodice on a dress for me (in SF, so hopefully it’s just an SF thing!). She might have ordered to fit her waist, hopng that it would even out. 

Maybe you guys can meet up for a walk and ask her what she thought of the dress compared to the sample, if she noticed any differences in fit, etc. — if she brings it up, then share with her how relieved you are because you thought you were going crazy, it looked different but you didn’t want to say anything in case it was an optical illusion, you wanted to verify it against pictures, etc. 

If she doesn’t pick up on it, I’d let her know that you think she’s gorgeous (hello, she’s one of your BMs!) though now you’re worried you accidentally asked her to order a dress that’s more fit for da club than da church (“Are you comfortable showing that much cleavage to my grandparents?”) so you’d like to see if she’s open to alterations for the bodice, so that she can keep the focus on her tiny waist (i.e. emphasize the feature she ordered for).

Of course, tread carefully — if she’s very excited about how the dress currently fits, I’d get all your BM’s matching cardigans for the ceremony and pictures. You don’t want to lose a friendship or have her think that she’s fat, horrible, etc. because her boobs 🙁

You seem like a very caring friend, so hopefully the conversation goes well. Good luck and let us know how it goes!

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