Bridesmaid Dresses Help!

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Should I pay for the bridesmaid dresses?
    Pay for all of them, stingy wench! :) : (4 votes)
    14 %
    Pay for UK girls only, : (0 votes)
    Offer to split the cost : (9 votes)
    31 %
    The bridesmaids should foot the bill. : (16 votes)
    55 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4540 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2014 - Royalton White Sands

    If you’re letting them pick out their own dress, I don’t think you need to pay for their dresses. If you do offer to pay for part of their dress, do it for all the girls. 

    Post # 4
    Member
    790 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    You can’t offer to pay for one person’s dress and not the others.  What about putting down the deposits for all the bridesmaids instead?  That way you don’t have to pay for the entire thing.  Also I would ask your bridesmaids as a whole to figure out what amount they’re comfortable spending, it might surprise you.  I’ve paid for all my bridesmaid dresses, even when I had to travel to get there, to me it just comes with the territory and how nice of you to offer any type of financial support.

    Post # 5
    Member
    466 posts
    Helper bee

    Yea, if you pay for one girl’s dress, you’ll need to pay for all of them (barring special circumstances such as one girl being unemployed, etc.)  It will not go over well if your girls find out that you paid for some BM’s dresses but not all.  

    I think if they can pick out whatever dress they want, then you need not pay for their dresses. Its a nice gesture, if you can afford to do it, but not necessary.  

    Do what feel comfortable for you, but treat all the BMs equally.  

    Post # 7
    Member
    55 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    All but one of my bridesmaids is from the USA. For the one from the UK, I did have to politely explain that our USA bridesmaids would be, and were already expecting, to pay for their own dresses. I did find that this is completely opposite to what UK ladies have been telling me is the norm, but, for my USA wedding, this is appropriate.
    So, I wouldn’t worry about asking the UK bridesmaids to follow the USA bridesmaids but perhaps take the moment to explain why. Or, do the deposit idea someone listed. It’s a great idea!

    Post # 8
    Member
    115 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: October 2013

    All of my BMs are flying to San Diego for my wedding.  They are all paying for their own dresses.  

    I don’t think you can pay for some girls and not the others.  If you are really worried about the cost, perhaps you could offer to pay for $100 towards each or something like that? Or make sure to buy their shoes, jewlery and pay for hair/makeup?  

    I think it’s understood that when you accept to be a BM, you will be buying a dress. 

    Post # 9
    Member
    32 posts
    Newbee
    • Wedding: November 2014

    @CaliBrit:  I am going to have my gals order dresses from one of those convertable wrap places- the dresses are not super expensive, they can be worn lots of different ways, and will definiatly be wearable again.  One has a bigger chest so she is going to by the matching tube top so she can still wear a bra.

    Post # 10
    Member
    1590 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: March 2014

    What I did, as a way of “offering to pay” was give them each a $100 visa gift card and a coupon for  free babysitting, if they want to use it to go out to dinner, since they’re each parents. Or obviously, put it towards the dress. I said that would be their main gift and I would give them the rest of their gift at the RD. 

    The gift cards were personalized with a photo of me and each girl so it was personal. My one best friend LOVES gift cards and my sister is tight on money so I knew it was a good gift. I let them pick their own dresses, but we went to a bridal salon so they were just so pricey! 

    Post # 12
    Member
    55 posts
    Worker bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    @CaliBrit:  No problem. Glad I am not the only one on here! 🙂
    I asked them to get their own dresses and shoes. I am supplying their jewelery and headpieces. I am not paying for their make-up or hair although they are welcome to get a reduced rate with my make up person on the day. The rationale behind this was that this way they can get the dress they want in their respective countries and they can do their own hair and make up the way they like. For example, my sister in the States doesn’t let anyone touch her hair so she pushed for this set-up. From everything I understand from British girl friends, I am doing this the exact opposite of how a UK bride would do. The second rationale was that we are paying for everything in the wedding ourselves (as well as the flights for the british bridesmaid and best man so they could make it). If we were not, we would probably be more generous towards things with the wedding party.
    What will you be doing?

    Post # 14
    Member
    729 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2012

    Choose an affordable dress for all (under $100) or else let them choose their own. Don’t do something different for each girl, that’d be unfair because everyone is spending money no matter what. For the ones already pay a few hundred for plane tickets and a hotel, an extra $100 won’t make a huge difference.

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