Post # 1
This has pretty much been an ongoing battle throughout the entire wedding planning process. Every time we’ve discussed the length of the bridesmaid dresses, I’ve said that I wanted it no higher than an inch above the knee. They want them fingertip length, which on me is about 7 or 8 inches higher than an inch above the knee, and higher than mid-thigh. That’s a pretty huge difference, and seeing as how this is a church wedding and not a beach wedding it seems really inappropriate. My public high school would make you go home if you wore something that short.
I feel like every time I say I only want them an inch above the knee, they just start discussing amongst each other how fingertip length would be a good length and then I get ignored. It’s really frustrating me. I paid for the dresses and I’m paying for the alterations, and I really don’t want to be paying for them to look inapproriate.
I’m a huge push over and I’m not sure how to be assertive about something like this. They are getting the alterations done this week. I want to take my mom along since she’s good at putting her foot down, but she’s so obsessed with trying to be trendy that I think they might get her on their side.
Is above mid-thigh too short for bridesmaid dresses, or am I just being a paranoid bride? Has anyone had bridesmaid dresses in their wedding this short?
Post # 3
Mid-thigh is WAY too short for a BM dress, especially if it’s a church wedding, in my opinion. Put your foot down. Insist that they be dressed in church-appropriate lengths. This is bigger than their vanity when the church is involved.
Post # 4
I would take the blame off you and say that it’s not appropriate for the church. It’s not like you’d be lying! That is far too short of a church wedding.
Post # 5
Mid-thigh or above for bridesmaids sounds alarmingly short to me, especially for a church wedding. You need to tell them that this is not open to negotiations. If they want fingertip length for their bridesmaids when they get married, that’s their problem … ahem, I meant decision … but this one is your call. If they are in really short skirts at your church wedding, it will reflect on you as the bride and people will think you have poor taste or no sense, when that is clearly NOT the case.
Post # 6
I just stood up at my desk at work to see where “fingertip length” would be for me. And holy cow, I’d never wear a dress that short in a church or even for a semi-formal wedding!
Post # 7
Ah, the fingertip rule … I still use that when deciding if a skirt is work-appropriate or not! I would never ever wear something that short except to the beach or the bar. Definitely put your foot down on church-appropriateness. They’ll get over it.
Post # 8
WAY too short! I like short skirts in general, but not for weddings, and esp. not a church wedding!
Post # 9
It is a church wedding and YOU are paying for the dresses? Then you have every right to determine what the right length is. Tell them while you understand that they don’t love it,it is not up for discussion. Tell them you appreciate them understanding that this is important to you. End of story. Only bring your mom if you are positive she will stick to the length – just tell her its how you want it, and you don’t want her to waffle. I would hope she of all people could support her daughter- what is “trendy” about a short dress anyways?
Post # 10
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
I voted yes, and I just saw that you’re paying for this- you *definitely* dictate the length. Call the shop that’s doing the alterations ahead of time what you want.
The girls can alter the dresses as short as they want to AFTER the wedding.
Post # 11
That’s way too short for a church wedding in my opinion. Also, you are paying for the dresses, so that’s even more reason for this not to be a discussion.
Post # 12
I agree–if they want them short, they can get them re-altered after the wedding to wear them elsewhere.
I feel like it should really not even be an issue! You’re the bride, they’re there for you, what you decide should be the final word.
Post # 13
I totally agree with you! That length is NOT appropriate for a church wedding. You are going to and participating in a wedding NOT going to a night club to pick up!!
Post # 14
Umm tbey are going to a wedding not the club, even at a wedding that not at church it may not be appropriate. Stand your ground on this one. Speak to the girls tell them you are Sorry(with an eye roll) but you cannot budget on this issue.
Post # 15
*They* can certainly pay to have the hem taken up 8 inches after the wedding if they want to wear them again. Fingertip length is way too short for a wedding, especially in a church. You don’t need them flashing their goodies at everyone.
Just make sure that *you* order the dresses and specify the length and make a note that they remain knee-length. Threaten to not pay if the shop shortens them. Money talks.
Post # 16
Oh my, this is far too short. Since you are paying for the dresses, you have all the authority in it. Even if you weren’t paying for it, you’re the bride, and your girls are representing you on that day, so you’d still have the say in this matter. But regardless, they should understand where you are coming from and stop worrying how sexy they look. This is a church wedding and no one is going to think they are boring/homely if they dress appropriately for the venue. Tell them its classy to dress appropriately…wouldn’t they want to be classy & fabulous? Sometimes a little manipulation is all you need 🙂