Bridesmaid dropped out – ask another friend?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1980 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

@laceysanty:  Tough one.  Would it be easy to get a dress for her?  Not sure if yours are matching, if the BM who dropped out would “donate” hers, etc.

If I were this potential bridesmaid, given the situation, I would not be offended.  If you decide to ask her though, I might tactfully explain how you felt you’ve gotten closer with her before outright asking.

Post # 4
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

@laceysanty:  Please don’t ask for a friend to be a BM weeks before your wedding.  It happened to me (I was asked to fill in for a BM) and I was not only embarassed, it hurt my feelings that “missed the cut” by one person.  Plus, the stress of trying to find a dress, shoes, etc… and get involved with planning at that late in the game would be a nightmare.

I was dispapointed to not be asked but I dealt with it so when she asked me later I felt like a backup that she needed to fill out numbers and balance pictures rather than a friend she truly wanted to be part of her day.

Post # 6
Member
9137 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 2013 - St. Augustine Beach, FL

I just saw that her husband is a GM.  If you can be responsible for figuring out the details to get her dress and stuff, I don’t think it’s a bad idea at all.

Post # 7
Member
790 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

you could always do the “well you never answered me if you would be a bridesmaid or not, we plan on doing this if you are we need your imput”….make it sound like you asked here and she just never answered yuo back…sneeky but if you really have to…thats the only way i wouldnt say ” miss X backed out and i want you to fill her spot”…i dont think thats nice, like what anoter Bee said…”i didnt make the cut” its not good to feel like you were almost good enough so saying ig like “you never answered me” i would think would be a little bit nicer…

Post # 8
Member
6274 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i have one less bridesmaid than my FI has groomsman, that’s just the way it is.  so many people have uneven bridal parties these days. it isn’t a big deal.

will this new bridesmaid feel like a last minute add?

will this new bridesmaid have time to order a dress?

 

Post # 9
Member
873 posts
Busy bee

I had back up bridesmaids (a bm was due 2 days after the wedding) and the back up was happy to do it. I say go ahead and ask her.

Post # 10
Member
18 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2013

I was asked to be a bridesmaid when one dropped out of my friend’s wedding, and I wasn’t offended at all.  I was just excited to be a part of it.  My then-fiance was the best man, so that made me even more excited.

Post # 11
Member
7208 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@laceysanty:  Definitely ask her! (and pair her with her husband). She’ll be under no illusions that she’s anything other than a backup, but since she’s a recent friend and the wife of a GM, I can’t imagine her being offended at not being asked in the first place.

Post # 12
Member
454 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Philadelphia, PA

@laceysanty:  I think you should ask her too.  Since her husband is already in the bridal party and she’s the same dress size as the bridesmaid that dropped off, she will hopefully accept!

Post # 13
Member
2466 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I asked someone to join my bridal party after a similar situation.  Her husband was already in the wedding and she happily joined.  We became closer through wedding planning and I’m glad she said yes =)!  I say go for it

Post # 14
Member
484 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@laceysanty:  I was a “replacement”. And I totally understod. Her feelings should not be hurt especially considering your situation. I would ask.. JMO

Post # 15
Member
2788 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@laceysanty:  There’s no harm in asking., start by acknowledging the actual situation here, and that you realize its very last minute and give her an out to politely decline if she chooses. There’s nothing wrong with having an eneven party though.

Post # 16
Member
2204 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Definitely think this is OK to do!  Just try to relieve some of the shoes/accessories/dress stress she might have.

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