Post # 1
I was initially deciding between 4 & 5 bridesmaids, but decided to go with 4 so I could match my FI’s groomsmen. 3 of them are college friends and one is my sister (also my MOH). I asked my girls about a month ago, and sent around dress & hotel information last week. Yesterday, one of my bridesmaids told me she was going getting a divorce from her husband (also a friend of mine) and didn’t have it in her to stand up as a bridesmaids in my wedding. I was super bummed, but understand and support her. But now I’m left in a pickle!
I’m thinking about asking the girl I was considering to be my 5th bridesmaid if she would join my bridal party. She’s actually friends with my Fiance, and we’ve become very close over the last year. I’m pretty sure she would be very excited to be a bridesmaid and wouldn’t be offended that she wasn’t asked initially. I’d really like to have her in my bridal party.
If I decide to ask her, should I tell her that one of my other bridesmaids dropped out and that’s why I have room to ask her? I don’t think I could keep that from her since she’d probably find out since I’ve already sent a bunch of emails around, and that would feel like lying. Or is it very rude to ask her a month after everyone else?
Other info – My wedding is next May and bridesmaid dresses don’t have to be ordered until December, so there’s plenty of time for that.
Post # 3
I would ask her. Personally I would be honored and I get the matching sides thing. I would be honest about someone dropping out and mention that you have been thinking of her all along and are excited to have room for another bridesmaid.
Post # 4
I would ask her and tell her exactly what you told us. I think she would be honored especially since you’ve become closer in recent times. Good luck!
Post # 5
This happened to me! I had become close with another girl (that’s my fiance’s co-worker’s wife), and after one of my bridesmaids and I had a falling out I asked her to be my bridesmaid. She knew about the whole situation all along and I told her I’d love to have her in my bridal party because we’ve become close. Her husband is a groomsman and I asked her how she felt about walking down the aisle with him again because I wanted to pair the two of them up for walking out of the ceremony. She said yes! Just be honest about things — tell her you would have liked to have her in the bridal party all along but you wanted to match your fiance. Tell her about your friend’s situation (I wouldn’t go into detail — just say what you told us!) and explain why it’d be nice to have her standing up there with you. =) Good luck!
Post # 6
definitely ask her. it sounds like it wanted her to be apart of your day anyways.
i’m not sure if i would word it to her that she is a “replacement” for the girl who dropped out. tell her what you told us why you would want her with you.
i would, however, mention to her the names of the other bms that will be standing up with you and that you also wanted so-and-so but she declined for personal reasons. L can come to her own conclusion.
Post # 7
I would ask and be honest with her about the whole situation. Being asked to be a Bridesmaid or Best Man is an honor, and I’m sure she’ll be excited!
Post # 8
Thanks everyone! I think I’m going to ask her, I’m visiting her in two weeks, so I’ll ask her in person then!