Bridesmaid Dropped Out of Wedding (Warning: Post is Long)

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1625 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Candy13:  dropping out of your wedding isn’t a friendship ending move. Some people just don’t want to be in a wedding.. and that’s fine. But treating you this way, SAYING those awful things (especially about carrying a pregnancy full term..what the hell?) is a good reason to end a friendship. She sounds like an awful, horrible person, and I don’t think you should waste any more time or energy on her.

Post # 4
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

How magnanimous of her! She was a jerk, she made nasty comments, she dropped out of your wedding… But SHE’S still willing to be friends?

Ugh.

Was she like that before the wedding? If she wasn’t, I’d be willing to try to be friends again post-wedding. But if mean/snarky comments are something she does regularly, no way! Not worth your time.

Post # 5
Member
489 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

Drop her, if she doesn’t want to be a bridesmaid fine but she doesn’t sound like a good friend regardless. 

Post # 7
Member
213 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

omg this happened to me!!! i’d say good ridence!  i had a good friend drop out of my wedding.  it started w/ the bachelorette party, her fiance didnt want her to go so she ended up not going, then she was like wow make up and hair is so expensive when i found basically the cheapest rate for my area (my other bm’s backed me up).  i offered to make it optional.

then last straw was about 3 months before my wedding she said she may not be able to come because she’s up for a promotion and the event she would be heading up is the weekend of my wedding.  she would not know till 3 weeks before my wedding if she could make it.  i was like wtf, and basically thought to myself this is BS.  I work in marketing, I run the booth at our conferences and I know for a fact you can’t throw someone in there 3 weeks prior.  MONTHS of planning go into the conferences and we’re just exhibiting, not hosting it!! so basically I felt she was making excuses not to come because of her fiance, whom I already didnt like because of my bachelorette trip incident.  

so I told her i couldn’t put my wedding plans on hold for her and she’s no longer in the wedding.  i asked for her BM dress and sent her a check for it.  i made another friend of my a BM.  I’ve not spoken to the fired BM since, new BM and I are closer than ever after our wedding, I even had her and her husband come to thailand w/ us!  she was super helpful w/ wedding details and hand burned wood excort card holders for me day of even though i told her at that point it’s okay they dont need hearts on them!!!  that’s dedication!

basically you can’t force someone to be in your wedding and you want good memories, you want to look at those pictures 20  years later and know those pple in there are still your friends, and you still talk to them.  

firing her was the best decision i made…my wedding day went perfectly.  you dont want someone to be a drag on your wedding day and complaining and she sounds like she will!  

Post # 9
Member
36 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: July 2014

Honestly it depends on why she drops out if its friendship ending.  Her whole attitute with you has been rude and not supportive of helping you have the day you want.  Its amazing how people you thought were your friends behave sometimes.  You absolutelly do not need this stress she is causing you.  

I don’t think it would be friendship ending if someone said listen, I really wish I could be in your wedding but xyz happened so I am no longer able to.  However I can’t wait to support you and celebrate your wedding with you as a guest.  But dropping out over Facebook?  Are you kidding me?  I would not want to speak to her again.

The woman I thought was my best friend said she couldn’t be in my wedding because she might be going camping that weekend and didn’t want to make a committment to being there for our wedding.  That was friendship ending.  Its incredibly painful but you will be better off and have a smoother day in the end.

Post # 10
Member
49 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2014

So sorry youve had to go through this! I’ve actually had two bridesmaids drop out of my wedding. Both were completely different situations and were also handled very different. The bridesmaid that sat down, talked to me, and truly explained that she would always be there for me whether she was in the wedding or not us still one of my dearest friends. On the other hand, the bridesmaid that acted like yours (rude, gave excuses, insensitive) I have no intentions on talking to! I think the way your BM treated you is total justification on ending a friendship! A wedding is stressful enough without all the negativity. Clear your mind, and rid your life of all that unnecessary drama! (Easier said than done 🙁 )

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