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You don't have to. She's not your sister, and even then if you do not wish nor care for her to be in the wedding then go on with your plans without her.
My advice would be to WAIT on planning out/asking your bridal party. You have plenty of time, friendships/relationships can change. Maybe in another 6 months, you'll get along better with your brother's FI, or maybe they'll break up, or she'll do something heinous that makes you POSITIVE you don't want her in the wedding. Either way, I would wait.
And if in 6 months, you feel the same way, then no, I don't think you need to include her in the bridal party. If it would make your mom feel better, then maybe find some other job for her to do/ask her to help with flowers, or decor or something.
You definitely don't have to... It might be a little awkward, but I think in this case you can have it your way.
I don't think you have to, either. Hilsy85 has good advice as well. I would wait another 6 months or so before you pick.
I agree with Hilsy85. I chose my bridesmaids VERY early (15 months before wedding date) and have always regretted it. It's amazing how much friendships can change in a year. The friend I originally asked to be my MOH moved in with her boyfriend and I hardly ever see or talk to her, etc. There is absolutely no reason why you need to choose your bms this early!
Whenever you do, I absolutely do not think you need to ask your FIs fiancee. I did not ask either of FIs sisters to be in my wedding party, because they are younger than me and I am not that close to them. I do not regret it.
I pretty much agree with the other girls. I would continue to think about this and just wait a little longer to announce who you've selected. I pretty much knew who I wanted to ask immediately (22 month engagement!) but waited until a little less than a year before to ask them. I'm REALLY glad I did it this way.
Also, my brother has a girlfriend that my family wanted me to have as a bridesmaid. And I didn't ask her. And I'm glad I did this too. I'm not friends with her at all, so I'm sure she understands! Go with your heart!
I agree also! No way would I have her in the wedding. I waited until 8 months before our wedding to ask people to be BM. I realized people who I thought were my friend before, really weren't. I would recommend waiting before asking anyone to be in the wedding. It is always easier to ask people to be in the wedding then asking them to step down.
You totally don't have to pick her.. pick 3 girls you are close to...
Don't ask her if you don't want to. And this may not be a popular answer: but especially don't if they're not married. There's no guarantee they'll make it to the wedding, especially if your family doesn't like her.
Choose your party, then think about it for a few months. If I could do it all over, I would have chosen only one on each side. (We have three on each side.)
You don't have to. I certainly didn't have my SIL on my side, even though I like her!
She wore a black dress, a matching sash to what my bridesmaids wore, and she stood on my husband's side.
I don't see why your brother's fiance needs to be in YOUR wedding party. She's your FSIL unrelated to the wedding, not even your FI's sister, which is different.
You don't have to at all!! I asked my SIL because she's one of my closest friends. But for her wedding last month, she asked me to be a BM but not my sister. So really, don't have her as a BM if you do'nt want to. It will feel forced and even more awkward, especially if she feels the same about you as you do about her.
It's your wedding, it's your day. If you have 3 girls that you are closer to than your brother's FI there's your answer! I chose to have my sister, best friend, and my FI's cousin be my MOH & bridesmaids. I had a good friend that I had originally thought would be in my wedding party but she started acting weird and now isn't speaking to me so I'm glad I went with my FI's cousin. Believe me, it's better to have someone you love and are close to than picking someone just because you feel you should. We are involving my sister's husband to walk my mom down the aisle but that was a last minute thing.
I don't think you have to ask her, either. Just because you've known her for four years, isn't good enough. I'd be more likely to encourage you to ask her if you didn't know her that well, but so far thought she was pretty nice. (Well if you thought she was going to eventually become family anyway. It starts things off in the right direction.) But in your case, you've3 tried to like her ,and getto know her. It's just not jiving.
Do you think she'll ask you to be in her wedding? I could see maybe your mom anticipating this. However, I still think you should probably just not ask her, if you don't get along with her.
Im going against the grain here a bit. But IMO you don't have to include her, BUT I would ask your brother if HE wants her to be in the WP. If he truely wants here in there, then I think you should. She is going to be family afterall and not just a GF.
You do NOT have to have anyone in your party that you don't get along with. But you have plenty of time, so wait a little longer before choosing.
You dont have to... let me shed some light!
OOO GURL we got engaged in 2006. I planned my bridal party... Were now not getting married till 10-10-10 i wish i wouldve waited till it got closer! To be honest! I would've just had my best friend in it. Noone else gives a crap really and my fsil... i really wanna kill and wish i never asked 4 years ago... SIGH... so now i have 5 bm and wish i only had one...
I know its suppper exciting starting the wedding planning... But wait on this one... Its easy to take away something but super hard to take away a bm or gm!
GLUCK! V
Just an idea: Yes, do wait before you decide, but an alternative would be to ask her to do something else (reading, being responsible for decorations or something like that) other than being a bridesmaid, would that be a possibility?
you don't have to. Your BM should be women that you get along with and will be there for you. Save yourself the head/heartache...wait to choose and when you do choose...choose someone else...
the only time its kinda implied is if your FH has a sister that hes close with that hes dying to have in the wedding - my situation - would i consider having someone i didnt want in my BP. its hard enough dealing with the pressures of weddings without having to deal with a chick you dont like in one of the most important jobs.
its completely ok for her NOT to be in your BP.
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I am not getting married for another 16 months, but we are already trying to plan out our wedding party. My fiance and I want a small wedding party, with only having about 3 bridesmaids/3 groomsmen. My brother has been with his fiance as long as I have been with mine, and so I have known his fiance for about 4 years. My brother will obviously be one of the groomsmen, but I don't get along with his fiance at all, and even though my family has tried really hard to like her, we don't. I feel obligated to have her as a bridesmaid, but I don't want to at all!! My mom says I have to have her in my wedding party, but my friends are telling me I don't have to. What is the ettiquette for something like this? PLEASE HELP!