- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
My bms are paying for their own dresses, shoes and (optional) hair and makeup. They are also paying for their own accommodations, although we are all staying together in the same condo, so FH and I are 'subsidizing' their costs to keep it down. My presents to them will comprise their jewelry, clutch purses and wraps, among other things. I worked pretty hard to find affordable dresses (<$100) and shoes ($21!) to make things easier on them.
It's tough. I've never been a bridesmaid, but my bms totally accepted that there are substantial costs involved (the above doesn't even mention their formidable travel costs to our destination wedding), but are quite appreciative of my efforts to keep things reasonable.
When I was a BM I paid for everything. Even though the bride did things on the cheap, I still ended up paying about $850 (hotel, dress, hair, plane ticket, food, shoes), and she didn't have a bachelorette or anything. I was happy to do it, but this has prompted me to want to at least pay for my BMs hair and makeup and part of their dresses. I was honestly kind of insulted that my friend was willing to spend $16k on a wedding but not $50 for my hair. I know, I know, it's all part of a larger budget, etc., but - still.
tulle_2.jpg (101 KB, 129 downloads) 3 years old back.jpg (102.8 KB, 92 downloads) 3 years old 
I was once a bridesmaid 10 years ago and I was a poor college student, so my mother paid for my ugly bm dress at the time. Now I'm subjecting my little sister, who is also a very poor college student, to being my maid of honor. Since she is poor, I've decided to pay for her dress, hair/makeup, clutch, and 50% of her shoes. I also made sure her dress and shoes were something she'd be able to wear again. So in total I spent about $175 on her, not too bad.
My birdesmaids are going to be paying for their dresses (I'm going to try to stay around $50 for this or choose a color and have them use a dress they already own). They can wear any black "dress shoe" they want to, any jewelry they want to, etc. My MOH's sister will be doing hair and makeup, which I'll be paying for (at a discounted price). I'll be paying for the hotel room the night before the wedding (at a discounted price since my MOH and I work at the same hotel).
I'll be getting my bridesmaids gifts (not sure what yet), but not wraps, matching clutches, matching jewelry, etc. because that doesn't seem like a gift to me-- it just seems like another matching accessory for my wedding and something that the girls won't be using after the wedding's over.
s09_cosimma_ad.jpg (17.6 KB, 161 downloads) 3 years old 
I've got 2 grad students as my bridesmaids, so I completely understand without being asked to be budget friendly. My aunt is throwing my bridal shower. My parents house has a pool house, so we're all crashing there before the wedding to save on hotel. These girls look stunning every day, even going to the grocery store, so I'm confident they can do their own hair and makeup day of. As for dresses, I set myself up for a budget of no more than $150. I took into consideration whether the dress would require alterations too. Shoes we haven't done yet, but I'm just going to say whatever black heel they want. Their travel (flights, drive) I would expect to be about $300, so they're in for a total about $550.
petal1.JPG (19 KB, 94 downloads) 3 years old two_people.jpg (5.6 KB, 73 downloads) 3 years old love_stand_111.jpg (6 KB, 72 downloads) 3 years old lenox_forevermore.gif (87.9 KB, 63 downloads) 3 years old lenox_swing_flutes_1.jpg (6 KB, 59 downloads) 3 years old lantern_pics.jpg (8.3 KB, 109 downloads) 3 years old 
My bridesmaids are paying for everything, and I'll be getting them all nice gifts. Their dresses were $190 - I felt bad and showed them lots of less expensive dresses, but this was the one they all liked best and can hopefully use again. Shoes I'll let them pick. Hair and makeup ($120 each) is optional. Hotels will be covered since one is local and the other two are siblings (my sister will stay with my mom and his sister will stay with his mom). Someone else is hosting my shower and for my bachelorette party, it will just be dinner out, so that shouldn't be much. I'm thinking $500 max/person. Last time I was in a wedding I think I spent about $600 and the last wedding that I wasn't in cost over $1000 because of a bachelorette party in Vegas - two flights, expensive hotels, etc... Fortunately my mom is helping out my sister since she is only 17, and the other two have been working for quite a few years, so it shouldn't be much of a burden for them.
I paid for my bridemaids' dresses. Ideally, I would love to pay for every cost they have to incur to be a part of my wedding, but obviously that's impossible without blowing my budget to bits. The shoes, jewelry, hair and makeup are next on the agenda, and I'm hoping to find places that are relatively cheap. It's hard to ask your friends to buy stuff. Even though I know I might have to do it for their weddings, it still doesn't lessen the awkwardness of it all.
3 of my BMs were grad students, and my MOH was my 16 yr old sister, so I tried to keep things affordable. The dresses were $145 but I only asked them to pay $120, and I subsidized an extra $25 per dress cuz I wanted an upgraded fabric. I also paid for my sister's dress.
I found them an inexpensive shoe option ($18 for Kenneth Cole heels from Amazon, included shipping!)
I provided earrings as part of my bridesmaids gift, (along w/a number of other items), and I paid for hair and makeup.
All were local except for my other Matron of Honor, who had to fly in, but she stayed at my place, so at least she didnt have to pay hotel...
BM paying for: Everything excluding make up which I am covering and the sash I had to buy seperately for their dresses.
On that note I should mention that I have given them the option to wear any black shoe they want and they may choose to have or not have their hair done professionaly.
So I'm not expecting much of them.
I am paying for the BM dresses + hair + makeup. They will pay for alterations + shoes (but they can wear something they already own) + costs associated with my bach party which will involve flying somewhere.
This might be unfair, but what I am paying for depends on the overall financial situation of each girl. I have BMs who live in the same town as the wedding and have good jobs and I know that they will be able to pay for their dresses, shoes, etc. as long as it is within reason. Another friend lives 700 miles away, has a young daughter who is my flower girl, and is a student so I will need to subsidize some of her expenses. I'll probably pay for part of her BM dress, all of the flower girl dress and part of a hotel room. I knew her financial situation when I asked her to be a part of the wedding but she has been my best friend for over 20 years so spending a couple hundred dollars to have her be a part of my day seems like a small sacrifice even with my tight budget.
i paid for my BM's dresses and shoes, and took them out the day before the wedding for manicures and lunch. they were able to use whatever jewelry they wanted and they did their own hair/makeup. i also paid for one BM's hotel. My BMs also had nothing to do with any of the wedding planning as 3 of the 4 were thousands of miles away. they did not throw me a shower or bachelorette party or anything. i think they were grateful for what i did cover for them :)
My MOHs's and BMs's are (or have paid) for their own dresses. Has anyone have this issue about their bridal party being FLAKES OR FLAKEY??? I didnt' think this would ever happen, but well...to me it has!
#1 - NONE of my bridal party has helped me with a thing. Wedding is in less that 25 days (on the 26th of February).
I went a couple of weeks ago and found the shoes that I really want them all to wear...emailed them all to inform them of the stores that were all by them as they all each live in different cities.
Come to find out just yesterday, that NONE OF THEM has bothered to go even buy their shoe and then found out that one of my MOHs's didn't or couldn't find the shoe in her size. (She's a shoe size 11).
So I had to go back out to the stores yesterday...(Nordstroms, Macy's etc), to find a different shoe. Found one in her size, but then had to go and change ALL of their shoes. Ended up buying them all their shoes because I know they will LAG on going to get them, and risk the chance of the shoe being gone.
I don't mean to sound like a mean bride, but at this point in time, I'm really upset. As for their gifts...honestly? I don't really want to give them anything, because they have been of NO HELP. I didn't think my sisters and friends could be like this. Am I just over-reacting?
I think that if you haven't planned a wedding before you just don't understand what goes into it. And possibly the bride is more personally involved! I remember my sister getting all bent out of shape with me as the MOH for leaving purchase of my shoes and slip until the week before the wedding. But honestly, she just told us any black leather pump with about a two-inch heel... I knew I could pick up what I needed at Nordstrom any time. Now that I am the bride, it seems like nobody but me has an appropriate sense of urgency about this stuff. Probably you never do until it is your wedding.
That said, my sister bought my BM dress (maybe she was worried that I would leave that until the last week too...). It was a nice, bias cut black dress from Nordstrom and I still wear it. She also paid for either mani/pedi or hair the day of the wedding; BMs covered the cost of travel, hotel, shoes, etc. She is my MOH and I will be buying her dress, and making a matching gown for my 1-year old niece, and she will cover the rest of her costs.
BabeMuneca-- have you asked them to help with anything wedding related or have you waited for them to offer assitance? Have any of them been bridesmaids before? And if they've been unhelpful, have you let them know how you feel?
Originally I had wanted to pay for my BM dresses but once I got around to looking and also figuring the budget I realized that I was goign to have to go super cheap on the dresses in order to get something we could afford (since we have seven girls). So I asked the girls to pay for their own dresses (my choice of dress, but I ran every option by them so they could veto) and shoes (but i said they could wear any shoe they wanted except flip flops and sneakers that matched the dress).
They also are going to pay for their own accomdation but I hope that I can find a resonable hotel for them and then have a lot of them share rooms to help keep the costs down. Hair and make-up is on me, plus their gifts. And then of course RD and day of food and whatnot is all on me.
I feel bad asking them for so much but they all said it was fine! I've offered to help anyone with some travel expesnses...as much as we can but they've all said no need! I have such wonderful friends!
Each of my brdiesmaids paid for her own dress (except our parents paid for my sisters' dresses and his sister's dress), which was $165. I indicated what color shoe I wanted them to wear, but left they style completely up to them (and I knew that at least half of them already had shoes in that color). I also gave them the option of having their hair done professionally- some chose to, and some did not. Included in their attendant gifts was a necklace to wear to the wedding; they could wear whatever earrings they would like. One bridesmaid also flew in for the occasion, so she had that expense, unfortunately (I would have loved to have paid her way, but I honestly couldn't afford to, and if we had, we would have had to pay for attendents on my husbands side, too). No one needed hotel accomodations or anything like that. That's about it. My family and honor attendents paid for my shower, and everyone at the bachelorette party chipped in for dinner.
In a wedding I was in recently, I paid for my dress, shoes, and hair, in addition to travel expenses and hotel. I also paid for the majority of the shower and some of the bachelorette party.
We've got 11 months to go, so this is subject to change, but...
I was planning to let them pick any tea/knee length dress is any pastel-ish colour they liked, but they've decided amongst themselves to get matching ones. I'm kind of hoping they cave on either the colour or the style, as I'm trying to avoid the whole matchy-matchy deal :P
I was figuring if they picked the dress, the colour, the whole she-bang, they could pay as there was a really good chance they'd wear them again but I guess if they go the matching option it will be less likely and I'll chip in 50% or so. The girls are all gainfully employed but either have kids, home loans or both, so I don't want to put to much pressure on their personal budgets. Argh! They can all get their own shoes, whatever they like with their dress is fine.
They all live locally so travel and accomodation shouldn't be an issue, I might splurge on a hotel room for the night before so that we can have a slumber party or something.
So I'm planning to pay for:
Umm, apologies for the essay. Guess I was working it out as I went :P
I'm paying for my lone bridesmaid's dress ($250), wrap (a beaded silk organza shawl that I'm having made and doing the beading on), hair and makeup (plus makeup brushes). She'll pay for her shoes and hotel, and the dress alterations. The dress is a Nicole Miller from Nordstrom that she adores and will wear again. The makeup I'll get for her, and do myself. I'm doing my own makeup, too (paid for a makeup lesson and boy was it worth it!). She'll get to keep her makeup and use it for the coming six months or a year, however long it lasts. That and the brushes are her gift, along with some earrings I'm making.
I'm buying dresses, hair, makeup and possibly shoes. i have 8 bridesmaids and went expensive on the dresses (325), so i felt buing them was the right thing to do- plus I'm a control freak and felt this was the best way to get exactly what I want. they are in charge of accomodations, shoes and alterations. I'll be doing gifts for them as well.
I only had one, and I told her to do whatever she wanted for her own hair, jewelry, makeup, and shoes. She has a pretty extensive collection of shoes and jewelry, so I didn't feel the need to have her buy something else. For her dress, I paid for the rest after a certain amount. This allowed her to stay within her budget and allowed me to find a dress that matched.
i plan for the bms (possibly 6) to buy their own gowns.
they can wear whatever shoe they want, whatever jewelry they want.
there wont be any pro makeup and getting their hair done with be optional. so will nails and that kind of stuff.
i plan to buy them individualized gifts. not sure what the budget for that will be or if i will stick with the same amt for each girl.
I am paying for not one but TWO dresses per BMs (I on;y have 2 BMs) b/c in my culture it is inconvenient for a person to be your BMs so we do our best to pay for everything. Also since we do pay for all of it most brides will not go to the length of having more than 2 BMs. Sometimes I feel that the expectation and cost of being a BMs leans certain people into the "bad behavior" zone which causes most brides to go nuts.
All my BM will be flying in from out of town and I know it will be expensive for them (flights to California in mid july?!). So we're paying for their dresses (midnight in any silhouette from Aria) and I'll let them wear any silver-colored shoe they want. As someone said above, my BM are all naturally stunning and I wouldn't want them to look like anything other than themselves on our wedding day, so hair/makeup is DIY. I'll be getting them 1154 Lill bags full of goodies for their presents, but I agree with someone who said that I don't see jewelry/clutch/wrap as a real "gift" since it's just another accessory for the wedding.
My bridesmaids are paying for their dresses, makeup and other expenses. I am trying to make everything affordable so that it would be easy on everyone's pocket.
I paid for my 6 BM dresses, shoes, wraps, and jewelry. They threw me a shower and we will be going to Mexico for my bachelorette party. Hair and makeup will be paid by them, and optional. I figure they might not wear the dress again so I wanted to pay for their wardrobe on the wedding day.
I understand - 2 of my BM were grad students and 2 others were undergrads while the other two were working. They paid for their own dress (however, for two of them, I ended up paying for their dresses kinda as a birthday gift for them so they had one less thing to worry about). They paid for their own shoes (actually, I didn't really care about shoes and they could wear old ones since the dress was floor length anyway) - I think that only one of them ended up buying new shoes for the wedding.
I paid for their hair and makeup. I also paid for a manicure/pedicure (the girls insisted on tipping) And as part of my gift, I got them clutches and jewelry. However they threw me an amazing bachelorette weekend in Vegas where I felt that we had first class treatment and felt spoiled to the nth degree.
As for stay - I paid for their hotel stay but they did have to fly/drive out to Vegas for the bachelorette and half of them did have to fly to Chicago from all over the country.
my BMs paid for their dress & shoes of their choice, and any hair or makeup they're getting done.
they're free to wear whatever jewelry they feel gorgeous in - i dont really have a "madate" for that.
we're paying for their hotel stay for the weekend
I had a destination wedding and only one bridesmaid (my sister who is in college). I paid for her dress and also her hair/makeup at the resort.
I only have three bridesmaids (two sister and one friend.) The moms took care of the sisters' dresses. For my friend, I paid for half of the dress (Jcrew for $250). For all the girls I have bought their shoes and will pay for their hair and makeup. They are on their own for an optional mani/pedi and alterations.
I'm also spending quite a bit on them for gifts as I keep picking up little things as I see them, plus my aunt is a jewelry designer who is making them pieces for the wedding plus I planned on ordering a makeup bag from Lill studio. I might cut that last part because honestly I'm spending too much on them. Besides the friend who is flying in and paying for her own accomodations, my BMs won't spend a dime to be in this wedding nor are they throwing me any showers nor a lavish bachelorette (we're just going to do a pub crawl). And as they live out of town, they haven't been very helpful. Sounds b*tchy, but I'd rather re-allocate that money toward my parents gifts.
Ive been a bridesmaid 2 times now . Once i had to pay for everything and once everything was paid for by the brides mother in law. I think its a huge burden to have to pay for a dress you dont like, and to have your hair done in a style you dont like. For my 4 bridesmaids i asked them if they wanted me to pay for their dresses and shoes or their hair and makeup and they all said they would rather me pay for their hair and makeup. So they all paid for their own dresses, shoes and alterations and im paying for their hair and makeup. I also paid for their accomidations for our hotel suite the night b4, but that was my choice, they all live in the city so i didnt think it was fair to have them pay to stay with me in the hotel. I also paid for their jewllery and bought them gifts. Remember, they are doing u a huge favor by being in your wedding, so appreciate them :)
bananarepublicdress.jpg (3.2 KB, 506 downloads) 3 years old You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| ellisrobertson | 24 |
| fishbone | 22 |
| ndreighton | 18 |
| Brielle | 16 |
| ladyartichoke | 15 |
 rdownie1 |
15 |
| Samantha7 | 14 |
| MsPanda | 14 |
| aduarte3201 | 14 |
| mypinkshoes | 13 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Leahhh | 2 |
| Miss Shaezel | 1 |
| Loribeth | 1 |
| likelimeade | 1 |
| mandypop | 1 |
| MrsBlueSeptember | 1 |
| CrochetLulu | 1 |
| sylvia.riggle |
1 |
| Weebee1234 | 1 |
| sasi | 1 |
Alright, hive workers. I have a question for you all.
As far as dresses, accessories, hair & makeup, etc., how are you arranging the finances with your bridesmaids? Are you paying for everything, splitting everything (or certain things), or are they paying for everything?