(Closed) Bridesmaid Finances

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
230 posts
Helper bee

My bms are paying for their own dresses, shoes and (optional) hair and makeup. They are also paying for their own accommodations, although we are all staying together in the same condo, so FH and I are ‘subsidizing’ their costs to keep it down. My presents to them will comprise their jewelry, clutch purses and wraps, among other things. I worked pretty hard to find affordable dresses (<$100) and shoes ($21!) to make things easier on them.

It’s tough. I’ve never been a bridesmaid, but my bms totally accepted that there are substantial costs involved (the above doesn’t even mention their formidable travel costs to our destination wedding), but  are quite appreciative of my efforts to keep things reasonable.

Post # 4
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

When I was a BM I paid for everything. Even though the bride did things on the cheap, I still ended up paying about $850 (hotel, dress, hair, plane ticket, food, shoes), and she didn’t have a bachelorette or anything. I was happy to do it, but this has prompted me to want to at least pay for my BMs hair and makeup and part of their dresses. I was honestly kind of insulted that my friend was willing to spend $16k on a wedding but not $50 for my hair. I know, I know, it’s all part of a larger budget, etc., but – still.

Post # 5
Member
159 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

I was once a bridesmaid 10 years ago and I was a poor college student, so my mother paid for my ugly bm dress at the time.  Now I’m subjecting my little sister, who is also a very poor college student, to being my maid of honor.  Since she is poor, I’ve decided to pay for her dress, hair/makeup, clutch, and 50% of her shoes.  I also made sure her dress and shoes were something she’d be able to wear again.  So in total I spent about $175 on her, not too bad.

Post # 6
Member
193 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

My birdesmaids are going to be paying for their dresses (I’m going to try to stay around $50 for this or choose a color and have them use a dress they already own).  They can wear any black "dress shoe" they want to, any jewelry they want to, etc.  My MOH’s sister will be doing hair and makeup, which I’ll be paying for (at a discounted price).  I’ll be paying for the hotel room the night before the wedding (at a discounted price since my MOH and I work at the same hotel).

I’ll be getting my bridesmaids gifts (not sure what yet), but not wraps, matching clutches, matching jewelry, etc. because that doesn’t seem like a gift to me– it just seems like another matching accessory for my wedding and something that the girls won’t be using after the wedding’s over.

Post # 7
Member
226 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’ve got 2 grad students as my bridesmaids, so I completely understand without being asked to be budget friendly.  My aunt is throwing my bridal shower.  My parents house has a pool house, so we’re all crashing there before the wedding to save on hotel.  These girls look stunning every day, even going to the grocery store, so I’m confident they can do their own hair and makeup day of.  As for dresses, I set myself up for a budget of no more than $150.  I took into consideration whether the dress would require alterations too.  Shoes we haven’t done yet, but I’m just going to say whatever black heel they want.  Their travel (flights, drive) I would expect to be about $300, so they’re in for a total about $550.

Post # 8
Member
311 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2008

My bridesmaids are paying for everything, and I’ll be getting them all nice gifts.  Their dresses were $190 – I felt bad and showed them lots of less expensive dresses, but this was the one they all liked best and can hopefully use again.  Shoes I’ll let them pick.  Hair and makeup ($120 each) is optional.  Hotels will be covered since one is local and the other two are siblings (my sister will stay with my mom and his sister will stay with his mom).  Someone else is hosting my shower and for my bachelorette party, it will just be dinner out, so that shouldn’t be much.  I’m thinking $500 max/person.  Last time I was in a wedding I think I spent about $600 and the last wedding that I wasn’t in cost over $1000 because of a bachelorette party in Vegas – two flights, expensive hotels, etc…  Fortunately my mom is helping out my sister since she is only 17, and the other two have been working for quite a few years, so it shouldn’t be much of a burden for them.

Post # 9
Member
8 posts
Newbee

I paid for my bridemaids’ dresses.  Ideally, I would love to pay for every cost they have to incur to be a part of my wedding, but obviously that’s impossible without blowing my budget to bits.  The shoes, jewelry, hair and makeup are next on the agenda, and I’m hoping to find places that are relatively cheap.  It’s hard to ask your friends to buy stuff.  Even though I know I might have to do it for their weddings, it still doesn’t lessen the awkwardness of it all.

Post # 10
Member
164 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2007 - Hyatt Lodge, Oak Brook IL

3 of my BMs were grad students, and my MOH was my 16 yr old sister, so I tried to keep things affordable. The dresses were $145 but I only asked them to pay $120, and I subsidized an extra $25 per dress cuz I wanted an upgraded fabric. I also paid for my sister’s dress.

I found them an inexpensive shoe option ($18 for Kenneth Cole heels from Amazon, included shipping!)

I provided earrings as part of my bridesmaids gift, (along w/a number of other items), and I paid for hair and makeup.

All were local except for my other Matron of Honor, who had to fly in, but she stayed at my place, so at least she didnt have to pay hotel…

Post # 11
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

BM paying for: Everything excluding make up which I am covering and the sash I had to buy seperately for their dresses.

On that note I should mention that I have given them the option to wear any black shoe they want and they may choose to have or not have their hair done professionaly.

So I’m not expecting much of them.  

 

Post # 12
Member
212 posts
Helper bee

I am paying for the BM dresses + hair + makeup.  They will pay for alterations + shoes (but they can wear something they already own) + costs associated with my bach party which will involve flying somewhere.

Post # 13
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

This might be unfair, but what I am paying for depends on the overall financial situation of each girl.  I have BMs who live in the same town as the wedding and have good jobs and I know that they will be able to pay for their dresses, shoes, etc. as long as it is within reason.  Another friend lives 700 miles away, has a young daughter who is my flower girl, and is a student so I will need to subsidize some of her expenses.  I’ll probably pay for part of her BM dress, all of the flower girl dress and part of a hotel room.  I knew her financial situation when I asked her to be a part of the wedding but she has been my best friend for over 20 years so spending a couple hundred dollars to have her be a part of my day seems like a small sacrifice even with my tight budget. 

Post # 14
Member
88 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2007

i paid for my BM’s dresses and shoes, and took them out the day before the wedding for manicures and lunch. they were able to use whatever jewelry they wanted and they did their own hair/makeup. i also paid for one BM’s hotel. My BMs also had nothing to do with any of the wedding planning as 3 of the 4 were thousands of miles away. they did not throw me a shower or bachelorette party or anything. i think they were grateful for what i did cover for them 🙂 

Post # 15
Member
28 posts
Newbee

My MOHs’s and BMs’s are (or have paid) for their own dresses. Has anyone have this issue about their bridal party being FLAKES OR FLAKEY??? I didnt’ think this would ever happen, but well…to me it has!

 #1 – NONE of my bridal party has helped me with a thing. Wedding is in less that 25 days (on the 26th of February).

I went a couple of weeks ago and found the shoes that I really want them all to wear…emailed them all to inform them of the stores that were all by them as they all each live in different cities.

Come to find out just yesterday, that NONE OF THEM has bothered to go even buy their shoe and then found out that one of my MOHs’s didn’t or couldn’t find the shoe in her size. (She’s a shoe size 11).

 So I had to go back out to the stores yesterday…(Nordstroms, Macy’s etc), to find a different shoe. Found one in her size, but then had to go and change ALL of their shoes. Ended up buying them all their shoes because I know they will LAG on going to get them, and risk the chance of the shoe being gone.

I don’t mean to sound like a mean bride, but at this point in time, I’m really upset. As for their gifts…honestly? I don’t really want to give them anything, because they have been of NO HELP. I didn’t think my sisters and friends could be like this.  Am I just over-reacting?  

Post # 16
Member
2293 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: July 2008

I think that if you haven’t planned a wedding before you just don’t understand what goes into it.  And possibly the bride is more personally involved!  I remember my sister getting all bent out of shape with me as the MOH for leaving purchase of my shoes and slip until the week before the wedding.  But honestly, she just told us any black leather pump with about a two-inch heel…  I knew I could pick up what I needed at Nordstrom any time.  Now that I am the bride, it seems like nobody but me has an appropriate sense of urgency about this stuff.  Probably you never do until it is your wedding.

That said, my sister bought my BM dress (maybe she was worried that I would leave that until the last week too…).  It was a nice, bias cut black dress from Nordstrom and I still wear it.  She also paid for either mani/pedi or hair the day of the wedding; BMs covered the cost of travel, hotel, shoes, etc.  She is my MOH and I will be buying her dress, and making a matching gown for my 1-year old niece, and she will cover the rest of her costs.

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