Post # 1
One of my bridesmaids just told me that she is getting a divorce 🙁 Of course I’m so devastated for her (especially since her husband and my fiance were really close) and want to do anything I can to help her.
But I’m also trying to plan my wedding…. i dont know how sensitive I need to be? Do I not talk about any of my wedding things? I want her to feel included, but I also dont want to make things sadder for her 🙁
Post # 3
I would just try to keep the wedding talk to a minimum and only when necessary, like when she needs to order a dress, etc
Post # 4
@Jacqui90: This. Talk about the details that matter to her (her dress, timeline, etc) and only talk about all the other fun stuff if she brings it up.
Post # 5
Was the decision to divorce hers?
My MOH left her husband in February, and while there’s certainly been some tears and stress about it (he’s said some terrible things to her while negotiating their settlement), she happier now than I’ve ever seen her. I’ve never got the sense that the breakup of her own marriage has made her any less happy for mine, in fact we’ve even joked that my “something borrowed” shouldn’t be anything from her.
Be there to listen to her and support her, and most of all, make her laugh when you can. Your wedding is a ways off, so perhaps, since she’s not your MOH, try to keep your wedding planning discussions with her to a minimum if it’s something you think she’ll be sensitive about.
Post # 6
When I was going through my divorce, I wanted everyone to remain as normal as possible. I really hated the feeling that people were tiptoeing around me or avoiding happy topics because they felt sorry for me or didn’t want to upset me.
You could just ask her if she’s uncomfortable with the topic or let her know that you’d like to be sensitive to her feelings.
Post # 7
I think that since its so fresh I’d keep the wedding chat to a minimum but would discuss the basics with her like dress choice fittings etc because that is inevitable. Also try to be there for her if she needs to talk and try not to let her situation play on your mind too much and affect your upcoming wedding.
Post # 8
I would treat her as you normally would. She is going to need some sense of normalcy right now since her entire life is going to be changing. She may find that being kept busy could keep her mind off of things if the divorce wasn’t her idea and if it was, she is going to be happy to be starting her life anew.
Post # 9
I honestly think she will feel much worse if she realizes or thinks you’re trying too hard to not mention your wedding plans around her.
What she needs is a friend and you need to be a good friend and ask her how she’s handling everything and make sure she knows you will be there for her if she ever needs to vent.
Post # 10
@sportsgal31: That is honestly my biggest fear! i dont want to tiptoe, but I dont want to upset her either!
Since it was her “idea” I think its a little easier . Plus she’s SUPER excited about going dress shopping and the bachelorette since she’s lot 125lbs. It makes it more exciting for her. I just dont want to make things worse
Post # 11
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
@sportsgal31: great advice.
OP-talking about your wedding may be a nice change from what your friend’s dealing with. You could say something like- “I want to respect that you’re dealing with a big change in your life, too-if I get to be too much with all the wedding stuff, let me know.”
Post # 12
@NVACat: sounds like she is pretty excited about starting a new life. i would keep the wedding chatter to a minimum but involve her in everything. let her set the tone.