Post # 1
I’m a bridesmaid in a friend of mine’s wedding. The other day one of the other maids asked what we were getting the bride and groom for their wedding day gift. I told them I didn’t know.
Honestly I had never heard of giving a wedding day gift if you have already bought other gifts for them. They had two showers which I bought very nice large purchase gifts for, plus I bought for the lingerie shower and helped pay a ton of money for the bachlorette trip. <br /><br />I know for my own wedding none of my bridesmaids gave me a “wedding day” gift. They all had brought their gifts to the shower, etc. My maid of honor instead of giving a speech wrote me a heartfelt letter and gave it to me after the rehersal.
Granted I got married 7 years ago so I know things change so is it standard now to give a “wedding day” gift in addition to all the other gifts I gave for the showers, etc? I just don’t want to be the only bridesmaid not giving them something.
Post # 2
gatorgrl: I’ve never heard of this. Did they mean the actual wedding gift or a second wedding gift? If they meant a wedding gift you should definitely get them something, even if it is just a card.
Post # 3
I was going to give the bride a card with a nice little note in it on the wedding day, but I wasn’t planning on getting them another gift. In addition to the other 5 that I have already bought and given them at showers, etc. <br /><br />The other bridesmaids have also given gifts at the showers too but one of the girls said she was giving them engraved wine glasses on their wedding day. I just have always thought if you don’t buy them something for the shower you bring your gift to the wedding. But you buy something for the showers you don’t haev to bring a gift to the wedding. <br /><br />That’s why I was just wondering…lol
Post # 4
Ya you need a gift for the wedding even if its something small. You usually gift a shower present and a wedding present not one or the other.
Post # 5
gatorgrl: You need to give gifts at both, I’ve never heard of not giving gifts at one but attending both events…
Post # 6
- Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas
I’ve always given a wedding gift as well as a shower gift.
Post # 7
Never heard of a special wedding day gift from bridesmaids to bride. My wedding was last year and of my three girls, one gave me a cash gift, two gave my nothing. It didn’t bother me at all; they’d come from far away and put a lot of work into giving me a great experience.
Post # 8
Where I’m from in the northeast, guests and bridesmaids bring gifts from the registry to the shower and cash or check to the wedding. That includes those in the wedding party. I am by no means expecting gifts from my bridesmaids since they have done so much for me and their presence is more than enough, but I have been in a few weddings and so has FI. He and I always gave a gift because that’s why bridal parties do up here, or at least the people we know! The others in those wedding parties we were a part of did the same.
Post # 9
gatorgrl: never heard of this. i got married in may and no one got me a wedding day gift, and as a bridesmaid i’ve never given one…strange.
Post # 10
- Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast
I’ve always given a shower gift and a wedding gift. However, I don’t think you NEED to. You can write them a nice card congratulating them. Especially if you’ve already attended and gave gifts at multiple showers/events. Usually there’s just 1 shower and 1 wedding.
Post # 11
gatorgrl: I think if you are close friends, and you have already done so much for the bride she will understand not getting a gift. If the bride is reasonable. Weddings are so crazy now a days with multiple showers, bachlorettes, and lingerie showers. One year I was in my friend’s wedding, and was unemployed. I wasn’t able to afford a wedding gift that day. I waited till their first anniversary, and gave them a nice anniversary gift. I made sure not to forget.
Post # 12
gatorgrl: What the…..???? That’s ridiculous. You’ve done enough for this couple by being involved in the wedding. No more gifts! Ick– even the thought of something so nervy leaves a bad taste in my mouth.
Post # 13
In my area, it’s very typical for everyone (BMs included) to give separate wedding and shower gifts, and many times the BMs will pitch in for something larger, so it doesn’t surprise me that the BM asked what you were going to do. This may not be standard in every area, but I’ve never known of a typical wedding that deviates from this.
Aquaria: Why is it nervy? It was a BM that asked if OP had plans. It’s possible she was wondering if they wanted to go in together on something.
Post # 14
- Wedding: November 2014 - Historic cinema
Am glad I don’t live in America! A shower gift AND a wedding gift?! FFS! I thought the shower WAS for the wedding gifts?
Hope this tradition doesn’t make it to NZ!
Post # 15
I’m with you OP, I thought it was one or the other. My bridesmaids gave me homemade gifts at my bachelorette and no wedding day gift (which was totally great).
The most recent wedding I was in as a bridesmaid, we gave a wedding day gift (there was no shower).