Bridesmaid give wedding day gift to bride and groom?

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

gatorgrl:  I’ve never heard of this.  Did they mean the actual wedding gift or a second wedding gift? If they meant a wedding gift you should definitely get them something, even if it is just a card.  

Post # 4
Member
657 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

Ya you need a gift for the wedding even if its something small. You usually gift a shower present and a wedding present not one or the other.

Post # 5
Member
1154 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

gatorgrl:  You need to give gifts at both, I’ve never heard of not giving gifts at one but attending both events… 

Post # 6
Member
2913 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

I’ve always given a wedding gift as well as a shower gift. 

Post # 7
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Never heard of a special wedding day gift from bridesmaids to bride. My wedding was last year and of my three girls, one gave me a cash gift, two gave my nothing. It didn’t bother me at all; they’d come from far away and put a lot of work into giving me a great experience.

Post # 8
Member
43 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Where I’m from in the northeast, guests and bridesmaids bring gifts from the registry to the shower and cash or check to the wedding. That includes those in the wedding party. I am by no means expecting gifts from my bridesmaids since they have done so much for me and their presence is more than enough, but I have been in a few weddings and so has FI. He and I always gave a gift because that’s why bridal parties do up here, or at least the people we know! The others in those wedding parties we were a part of did the same. 

Post # 9
Member
1669 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

 

gatorgrl:  never heard of this. i got married in may and no one got me a wedding day gift, and as a bridesmaid i’ve never given one…strange.

Post # 10
Member
2791 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2015 - Walnut Hill Bed & Breakfast

I’ve always given a shower gift and a wedding gift.  However, I don’t think you NEED to.  You can write them a nice card congratulating them. Especially if you’ve already attended and gave gifts at multiple showers/events. Usually there’s just 1 shower and 1 wedding.

Post # 11
Member
94 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: December 2014

 

gatorgrl:  I think if you are close friends, and you have already done so much for the bride she will understand not getting a gift. If the bride is reasonable. Weddings are so crazy now a days with multiple showers, bachlorettes, and lingerie showers. One year I was in my friend’s wedding, and was unemployed. I wasn’t able to afford a wedding gift that day. I waited till their first anniversary, and gave them a nice anniversary gift. I made sure not to forget. 

Post # 12
Member
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

gatorgrl:  What the…..???? That’s ridiculous. You’ve done enough for this couple by being involved in the wedding. No more gifts! Ick– even the thought of something so nervy leaves a bad taste in my mouth.

Post # 13
Member
2203 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

In my area, it’s very typical for everyone (BMs included) to give separate wedding and shower gifts, and many times the BMs will pitch in for something larger, so it doesn’t surprise me that the BM asked what you were going to do.  This may not be standard in every area, but I’ve never known of a typical wedding that deviates from this.

Aquaria:  Why is it nervy?  It was a BM that asked if OP had plans.  It’s possible she was wondering if they wanted to go in together on something.

Post # 14
Member
600 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2014 - Historic cinema

Am glad I don’t live in America! A shower gift AND a wedding gift?! FFS! I thought the shower WAS for the wedding gifts?

Hope this tradition doesn’t make it to NZ!

Post # 15
Member
1070 posts
Bumble bee

I’m with you OP, I thought it was one or the other.  My bridesmaids gave me homemade gifts at my bachelorette and no wedding day gift (which was totally great).

The most recent wedding I was in as a bridesmaid, we gave a wedding day gift (there was no shower).

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