Post # 1
She got engaged a few months after me, and though I have called to congratulate her neither of us have mentioned the ring. I don’t feel upset about it, I just want it to be brought up so that there isn’t tension or a problem later. Does anyone have any advice on how I should handle this or what I could do?
Post # 3
If you feel the need to address it, I would just say something along the long of “Clearly both of our fiances have fantastic taste in women and in jewelry”.
Post # 4
“Man it’s like our Fiance’s went shopping together or something, atleast we’ll always be able to look at our rings and know that not only are we special to our guys, but they have amazing taste too!”
Not the can of worms you want to open/
Post # 5
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. I would smile, point to the rings and joke, “Our have fiances have the best taste!”
Post # 6
IF you feel you have to say “something” to clear the air… then MissTatas: has the best solution by far… an “age old” saying that is fitting for this situation.
Post # 7
I say it’s an elephant in the room because you’re making it that way. If your FI created a custom designed ring and her FI completely copied it then I could see why you’d feel that way…. but a princess solitaire or a round solitaire is really common.
My two cents is to leave the topic alone.
Post # 8
You don’t even know that she had any hand in picking out her ring. You don’t need to address anything, unless you plan on confronting every woman with a princess cut solitaire.
Post # 9
@HelleCat: The first thing my fiancee asked when I told him was which had the better stone…but I am too afraid to look. I don’t want to know and I don’t want mine to be better or worse…but that may come across as offensive if I don’t look interested enough, right? This manners thing is so tricky.
Post # 10
Ummm… you don’t address it?
Seriously. You don’t. Just be happy for you, happy for her, and happy all around. That’s all.
Post # 11
Eh, I’d personally let it be. There’s not that many different styles of rings and several of my friends have rings that I couldn’t tell apart from one another and my ring is almost exactly the same as my sister in law’s. I never would even think to bring it up or mention it. Seems kind of weird that there were be “tension” about someting like like this…especially since they were gifts, and I’m presuming neither of you picked them out.
Post # 13
why do you think there is any sort of tension around this? there shouldn’t be. like you said, it’s not an uncommon design. if the subject of jewellery ever comes up, just mention that the two of you are members of the “princess solitaire club”. it will form a common bond and will eliminate the elephant in the room.
Post # 14
You don’t address It.
After the dust has settled, neither of you will think about it. You said yourself its not unique.
Post # 15
@Aurora403: It’s probably just perceived tension on my part, because I never want to offend anyone and it seems like wedding related things are a minefield.
If I bought a red 2010 Toyota Camry and my friend got a red 2010 Toyota Camry two months later…someone would bring it up and say something about it, right? It’s not that it’s original or unique…it’s that it’s original and unique in your circle of friends, and coincidences are usually pointed out. The fact that no one has said anything about it makes it strange, in my opinion.
I also don’t have a lot of friends that are engaged or married, so I have no one to go to to ask advice on what is normal or not. I think after reading these comments I will just keep my thoughts to myself and hope that it’s all in my head. It seems like in these situations it’s best to err on the side of caution and just keep quiet.
Post # 16
You’re making it more than it is. When my bff got engaged, she got a ring that was very, very similar to the one I want. I said, “OMG, X got you the ring I pinned! I love it, it’s so beautiful. He has good taste lol”
Then, her other bff (and a friend of mine) got engaged with a ring that was exactly identical to hers. Exactly identical. Except maybe the stone was bigger or clearer or something, I’m not sure, but the setting was the same and the center stone was round. We were both there when we found out, in person. And she said, “OMG, we’re ring twins! Obviously, I think it’s beautiful – congratulations!”
That’s probably how you should have addressed it before when you realized it was the same. At this point, I would either not address it at all or I would address it by calling her your ring twin at some point and/or asking her how much she loves her ring (and adding in how much you think it’s so beautiful and classy, obviously, since you love your ring, too).
But really, you’re making it out to be something that it’s not. If you go look through the threads, you’ll see how many bees have the same/very similar rings. And those are not just simple solitaires, even!