Post # 1
I did trials with several well-known and highly recommended stylists in my area, and wasn’t really happy with the way they did my hair. Essentially I asked for soft, loose waves and came out with banana curls
I finally went to go see the woman who has been doing my hair for six years, and she was able to do exactly what I wanted. The reason I hadn’t gone to her earlier was that she is rather expensive. It wouldn’t be an issue if it was just for my hair, but it’s me plus 5 bridesmaids, my sister, mother and FMIL. She estimated that it would be about $1000 total (five hours of hair).
That’s about 30% more than I had budgeted for hair. I plan to ask her if there is any wiggle room on the figure, but am also considering asking my bridesmaids if they are willing to chip in for part of the cost (maybe $30 or $40). I HATE the idea of doing that, I really don’t want them to have to pay anything, but we really just can’t afford to cover that whole cost. I would of course give each girl the option to not get her hair done if she doesn’t want to pay, but I don’t want anyone to feel left out. And asking my family to help pay is really not an option at this point.
Is this a total no-no?
Thanks for your advice…
Post # 3
I would say that if you are requiring your girls to get their hair done, you should pay. If they have the option of doing their own or going to your salon, they can pay. You might be surprised that most of them will to opt to have their done and pay for it themselves.
Post # 4
If you want them to get their hair done, you need to pay. If it is optional, they need to pay. I’m not paying for my girls, but they can do it if they want. They’re all doing it, so they’re paying. it’s their choice.
Post # 5
I don’t think you NEED to pay but I can imagine it’s an uncomfortable situation if it was mandatory and they didn’t have a choice. I think it’s better that the choice is theirs – perhaps one or some of them would rather do it themselves.
Post # 6
I am also giving the option of my stylist doing the BM’s hair. If they want their hair done, they will pay the $50 each she charges. If not, I am fine with that as well. The key with budget constraints is to be flexible!
ps – same with make-up
Post # 7
I think it’s okay with the way you’re handling it. Being upfront about the cost – and that it is out of your budget – and that you had planned to pay will be appreciated. Making it clear that it’s perfectly fine to not have their hair done if they don’t want to pay will make things less awkward. If you’re worried about anyone feeling left out, maybe you could plan a light breakfast all together before those of you getting your hair done leave for that. I’ve been in weddings where both has been done (they required it, but paid for it as well as the bride asked us, told us the cost, and then made arrangements for those who wanted it) and both has worked out fine. Don’t forget to mention you explored cheaper options, but they were a mess!
Post # 8
I think what you suggested is perfectly reasonable.
$40 isn’t exhorbitant (does it include gratuity?). As long as you are clear with your BMs about the cost to them, and you are giving them the option of doing their own hair, I think that’s fine.
Giving them the option is the key.
Post # 9
Thanks everyone – your responses made me feel so much better! They would definitely have the option to either pay and have it done, or not pay and do it themselves.
They’ve seen pictures of the "banana curl incidents" (as we are now calling them ) and the trial with my hairdresser, and they all agreed my hairdresser was the way to go.
Post # 10
I agree you have the right idea. You’re not requiring it, and because it is expensive, you would be offsetting the cost if they chose to get it done. Sounds fair.
Post # 11
Wow, I never thought about how costly it is to pay for everyone’s hair! Thanks for the discussion!