Post # 1
So we have a hair stylist coming to the home to do everyones hair on the day of the wedding. It costs $80/pp. I have 3 Bm & 1 Maid/Matron of Honor. I can’t afford to pay for everyones hair, I am paying just for myself and my Maid/Matron of Honor and want to pay for half + tip of the remaining 3 BM’s.
Is this OK?
My gifts to them are going to be:
- Paying 1/2 of the hair + tip
- Starbucks GC (we’re meeting at Starbucks at the start of the day to get coffee)
- GC to buy lipstick
- Brunch & Mimosas (when we’re getting ready)
- Nails (someone is coming to the house to do everyones nails)
- Photo of the wedding party
- Vintage handkerchief with card
If you were a bridesmaid, would you be annoyed to pay for half your hair?
What did you do for your BM’s?
This topic was modified 3 years, 6 months ago by artdeco.
Post # 2
I would pay for half of everyone’s, not pay for all of the Maid/Matron of Honor, that doesn’t seem fair. I didn’t pay for any of my six BMs hair because it was optional, half got hair/make up, the other half didn’t. I got mine a Vera Bradley bag, some lotions, nail polish, candles, starbuck’s GC. I would be fine paying for half (or all) of my hair (as long as I got to choose the style), but would be annoyed if you paid for all of MOH’s.
Post # 3
I agree with PP that it’s kinda rude to only pay for all of your MOH’s hair bill. If you think she deserves an extra gift for the time and energy she’s invested in your wedding it would be more appropriate to thank her with a sentimental gift rather than a blatent monetary one. I also think it’s strange to pay for half of everyone’s hair, it just seems odd to me especially if you are requiring everyone to get their hair done. Not sure how much your giftcards add up to but as a Bridesmaid or Best Man I’d rather have you pay for all of my hair instead of giving me giftcards that I may or may not use, or more than likely will forget it came from you when I get around to using it. My opinion is nix the giftcards, pay for everyone’s hair, and buy the round at starbucks if it’s that important to you. If you still can’t afford that, maybe look into a different, less expensive stylist.
Edited to include: Another option would be to offer the nails as an option that each Bridesmaid or Best Man would pay for and you cover the hair? Nails are much more subtle than a hairstyle and won’t make or break your wedding photos. I’m guessing nails are cheaper but something about only paying for half of a service you want your BMs to have is unsettling to me.
Post # 4
artdeco: I did not pay for their hair but I am paying the total tip for the hair stylist.
I also said to my girls you do not need to get your hair and makeup done. One of my girls is not doing either which is totally fine by me
If it is mandatory I think you should pay. I also agree with the previous poster that you should not pay for more for your Maid/Matron of Honor and instead choose a different gift.
Post # 5
artdeco: I feel like every day I add something… I need to Stop!
My ladies are getting;
– personalized wire hangers
– pearl earrings and bracelets
– infinity bracelets
– ‘stress relief’ lotion from bath and body works
– individual gifts for each maid (tea, mugs, travel mugs, picture frames, flask, jewelery)
– mimosa bar for morning of
– I’m paying for their hair
– Thinking about buying kimonos for getting ready
If I were a Bridesmaid or Best Man I would be happy to have half the hair paid for, but agree it wouldn’t be fair if the Maid/Matron of Honor got all of her hair paid for, especially if as a Bridesmaid or Best Man I helped with a lot of wedding stuff.
Post # 6
if it’s a requirement you should pay the full cost of hair, otherwise $80 is steep I only paid $40 for each girl, so I would recommend paying half if it was voluntary
Post # 7
If you’re requiring them to get their hair done, you should pay for it. If it’s an option, then I think paying for half is fine. You shouldn’t pay for all of one person’s and only half for the other’s though – it’s unfair. Do half for everyone, or all for everyone.
The “gifts” that you’re getting all seem like they’re for your wedding. If they are, then those aren’t really gifts at all. The handkerchief would probably be a gift since it’s not for the wedding, but it’s not something that would interest me.
Post # 8
Forgot to mention — I paid $100 per girl for hair. I wanted all of their hair to be professionally done, so of course that cost fell to me. I let them decide if they wanted professional makeup or to do it themselves, and they had to pay the $75 if they wanted their makeup done.
Post # 9
For my Maid/Matron of Honor I wanted to pay for the full thing because she is doing the most and has paid the most out (she’s also holding my bachelorette at her cottage and prepping it herself etc.). I plan on telling her privately and giving her the $40 so that the other girls aren’t aware that I am paying for her in full.
I’ve talked to several other brides that I know who are getting married this year if they are paying for their girls and they said no and that they couldn’t afford to do that.
I haven’t really asked my BM’s for anything except for the clothes they are wearing, which I allowed them to select so they could pick something they like and would wear again.
The makeup I gave the choice and they’ve all decided to do their own makeup.
It’s either I just pay for their hair and forgo every other gift, or give them all the other gifts and they pay for half their hair.
Post # 10
i paid $100 towards their $139 dress, paid for hair and m/u even though i didn’t require it.
and then i got them their gift.
i do not consider hair, makeup, jewelry, etc. that you are requiring them to wear for your wedding as gifts. these are parts of your wedding.
Post # 11
artdeco: “It’s either I just pay for their hair and forgo every other gift, or give them all the other gifts and they pay for half their hair.”
If you are making hair mandatory, I think you are responsible for paying for it (all of it). If you’d rather not pay for the hair, you can tell the girls a stylist will be available, and provide the approximate price. Please don’t forgo gifts in lieu of the hair, though.
Post # 12
artdeco: And FWIW, I paid $90 for each girl to have her hair done (5 total). I really wanted the experience of getting ready together, and knew that most wouldn’t be comfortable paying that price on their own. I also gave each girl a different set of jewelry, a crystal frame with a personalized note written in it, and a gift card to her favorite store. I provided coffee, and lunch in the suite, but didn’t count this as part of their gift.
Post # 13
artdeco: If your doing it in secret and your Maid/Matron of Honor is the only one who did anything then go for it. No one else will know. Also, like I said, if I were a Bridesmaid or Best Man I’d be happy with half my hair paid for, it’s better than none of it paid for. When I was in my friends wedding I paid for my hair, make up, shoes, and she bought us our dresses as our Bridesmaid or Best Man gifts.
Post # 14
winterwoodlandbride15: Yes I’ve spoken to married friends who have also been in other peoples weddings and they were shocked when I said I was considering paying for the hair as they had to pay for their own.
I will still definitely pay for the nails and the jewelery but perhaps forgo all the other gifts if I pay for their hair in full.
$80 is steep but for the 50 places I contacted it seemed to be the minimum unfortunately.
Post # 15
artdeco: Hm well if they don’t know that might be better. I think if I was a bridesmaid from what you’ve written for gifts I would rather you pay for my hair and nails, maybe skip starbucks ( I do feel like you should def feed them if you are all getting ready so I wouldn’t as a bridesmaid see that as a ‘gift’) and then give a nice sentimental card.