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Bridesmaid HATES her dress... what to do... ?

posted 1 year ago in Bridesmaids
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    1.
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    Helper bee
    ForeverYoung    October 10, 2010   Montreal

    So…one of my bridesmaids ( my cousin) saw the dress before we ordered it.

    The sample dress didn’t fit her…but she got the idea of it… and saw it on the other girls. She liked it.

     

    It’s a dress that it very flattering to all sizes…A line.. simple… elegant…

     

    She received her dress yesterday ….and HATES it… she says that she looks huge in the dress and is extremely uncomfortable.

    I feel terrible… I saw a picture and I think it looks great!.... but she seems horrified.

     

    What do I do about this? I don’t think I can make it better…. Has anyone else had to deal with this?

     
    2.
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    4,510 posts
    Honey bee
    OttawaBride2011    May 21, 2011   Ottawa, Ontario

    Yes. My FSIL is the same way. Honestly, don't do anything. She's just being silly, you said yourself that it looks great. I don't think it's even fair of her to complain like that to you! That is so frustrating and I've been there.

     
    3.
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    Sugar bee
    slicey19      

    does she feel lit would look better with alterations? If fit is not he problem, I agree that there is nothing that you can do except hope she feels differently in a few months.

     
    4.
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    Helper bee
    attybride    9/25/10   Boston, MA

    One of my bridesmaids doesn't like the dress I chose either.  I think it looks great on her and so do other people, so I politiely told her, "I know you don't care for this dress, but I'm asking to wear it anyway."  She was really good about it and asked if she could wear it for the ceremony and pictures but change for the reception; it sounded like a good compromise to me!

     
    5.
    2,299 posts
    Buzzing bee
    bluespurrs    August 7, 2009   South-central PA, USA, Earth

    Had the same problem with one of my BMs. I paid for her dress and was good-natured about her complaints until one day I finally said, here  is the web site, go order another one if you hate yours so much, but YOU will have to pay for it. Didn't hear a peep after that. LOL

     
    6.
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    Bumble bee
    rabbit    September 3, 2010   Milwaukee, WI

    I had this happen. I paid for a dress which looked great on a BM, but she totally flipped out, saying it was terrible and if this was an example (it wasn't an example but the BM dresss in reality!) of the kind of thing I was going to make her wear...it was nasty and ended with her dissing almost every part of my wedding planning. She dropped out of my wedding and stopped talking to me. Over a stupid dress. Frankly, i felt, if she was a real friend, that she should have sucked it up and worn the dress. She looked great in it! And that's my advice to you- tell her you are sorry she doesn't like the dress but that you think she looks fab in it and could she just suck it up, just this once, and wear what you want her to wear? Especially if you have or are paying for it!

     
    7.
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    Bumble bee
    Ms. Caniche    September 18, 2010   Orange County, CA

    um... this is the time when I think bridesmaids just need to zip it.  They should be grateful that you asked them to be in the wedding and wear the dress that you chose proudly.

     

     
    8.
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    390 posts
    Helper bee
    hsearle    January 15, 2011   ND/Getting married in Minnesota

    i agree with @attybride. she doesn't have to love it. she can wear it for one day and be done with it!

     
    9.
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    Honey bee
    JamaicaBride    May 14, 2011   Charlotte, NC

    I am not totally in love with my MOH dress. I would rather be wearing what the other BMs are but I am sucking it up and wearing the dress. It will only be for one day and then I can stuff it in the back of my closet or sell it and never have to worry about it again.

    Your BM needs to just suck it up and wear the darn dress.

     
    10.
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    188 posts
    Blushing bee
    AClaire    June 25, 2011   Chicago, IL

    Get another bridesmaid to calm her down. Maybe she just has body insecurity and feels she looks bad in everything.  Maybe it's something specific that can be fixed with alterations, or a wrap or something.  But regardless, put another bridesmaid on it, and tell her to give the unhappy bridesmaid a pep talk.  You can't tell her yourself that she's being unreasonable because then you come off as rude.  However, someone else can tell her "forever young really wants you to be happy, but she's so stressed about the dress situation.  can you just deal with this dress for her sake?"

     
    11.
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    Busy bee
    meganmp1    January 24, 2009   Seattle, WA

    Did you buy it for her?  If so, she can handle it for one night.  If she bought it, however, that's a different matter, and concessions may need to be made.  Ask her what you can do to help the situation.  If there is something that you're willing to do, do it.  If not, tell her, "I"m sorry, but I just can't.  I'm sorry you don't like your dress." 

     
    12.
    2,766 posts
    Sugar bee
    clarebee    August 21, 2010   Vienna, VA (wedding in Greensboro, GA)

    It sucks that she doesn't like it but it comes with the territory!! She only has to wear it for one night (your wedding night!!) and then she can throw the thing away if she wants to! Honestly the BM dresses my girls are wearing I dont like very much (2 of my BMs chose the dress and I was fine with the color and fabric) and I'm sure some of my other BMs dont like the dress either, but its tough luck! Tell her you're sorry that she has to wear the dress and that you will wear whatever monstrosity she decides to put you in for her wedding! :-)

     
    13.
    14,581 posts
    Honey
    Beekeeper
    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    personally i wore an incredibly unflattering "simple/elegant, a-line" dress at a wedding i was in. I looked a lot heavier than I was. But you know what? i wore it. Whatever. Maybe if I'd paid for alterations that would've helped, but i was cheap. Maybe the right undergarments would help your friend out. I know mine had a "waist band" cummerbund type thing on it (not made for 6 feet tall women so there was zero avoiding it) and it came under my chest, when it was supposed to be a thing on my waist. It really did look stupid. Plus we had trains and it kept yanking the dress around all night. I'm sure it looked fine to everyone else, but it is what it is. Tell your friend that after a few beers, she won't care. I know i didn't =]

     
    14.
    3,234 posts
    Sugar bee
    Kittyachi    August 2010   New York

    We've all worn dresses we hate. You know what? You keep your mouth shut to the bride about it and bitch to the other BMs. That's the way it works. She's broken protocol. Seriously, part of the territory of being a BM is just sucking it up and wearing the dress whether you hate it or not. She's being bratty.

     
    15.
    Hostess
    9,018 posts
    Buzzing
    Beekeeper
    daydreamwanderer       DC

    Here's what you should do:

    1. Tell her about weddingbee, and how girls come here all the time when they are worried about a dress not looking right on them.

    2. Convince her to sign up and post pictures of herself (or let you post pictures for her) in the dress.

    3. We will let her know how amazing she looks and boost her confidence. :)

     

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