Post # 1
Hey Bee’s, I’m in a bit of a pickle.
I have 8 bridesmaids. Yes, I know its huge! But I’m coming from a big Greek family and so is my FI, and I didn’t really have a choice lol. Anyways, I have found the PERFECT bridesmaid dress and everyone LOVES it.. or do they?
We’re all going next weekend to get the dresses, but the other day one of my bridesmaids and I went to the store so I could show her the dress. She tried it on, and fell in love. I thought that this was too good to be true, having eight women agree on something lol. That is when she told me that my cousin doesnt like the dress and she plans on saying something when we go to the store.
Apparently her concerns are that it will make her hips look big because earlier in the month I sent a picture of my sister wearing the dress and we didnt pin it properly so the skirt flared out a lot but I couldnt really notice because my sister has big hips to begin with. This seems really weird to me because the dress is a form fitting dress, and she knows that. What is really funny is that she ALWAYS wears tight dresses.
I decided to just let it be, and wait it out until Saturday when we all go. That was until I got a drunk text from her last night saying that the dress is not good for wide hips and that its expensive (she is a designer whore, so the fact that shes complaining about cost is not in her character at all) and then a whole bunch of other jibberish that just pissed me off. I sent her a text this morning asking now that shes sober, if theres anything wrong with the dress.
This is stressing me out. Do I change the dresses for her? I’m getting married in July and she’s getting married in October. Should I just tell her that this is non-negotiable? My mother and sisters are on my side with this one and I know that they will back me up. What do I do??????????
Post # 3
- Wedding: September 2014 - Turf Valley
If 7/8 people like it I would NOT change it for that one person. She can buy it, wear it, and be happy for you or she can step down. Easy!
I also would not invite her opinions on the dress if it’s the one you’ve decided on. That only opens the door to additional frustration.
Post # 4
Is there a bridesmaid out there that loves their dress? I’ve hated every dress I’ve had to buy, but I’ve kept my mouth shut because that’s party of the deal with being a bridesmaid.
For my own wedding, I picked JCrew dresses that were on sale for $60. I had some bridesmaids that weren’t pleased with the dress either, but at least they only spent $60.
FWIW-I think the dress you picked looks very nice, but you can’t please everyone.
Post # 5
@MsBark: Since the other girls are all on board with the dress, I’d tell her to suck it up or step down. If you don’t feel comfortable doing that perhaps offer to contribute towards the cost. Whether she’s a designer whore is irrelevant. She is being told to buy an expensive dress she doesn’t like.
Post # 6
@MsBark: It’s a pretty dress and it actually does seem like a dress that they could wear again.
I would just keep it, it’s your wedding. Your cousin sent you a drunk text about not liking the dress, I would just let it be. A lot of bridesmaids wear dresses that they don’t like. She needs to just suck it up. Would you say anything if it was her wedding? And the fact that she’s your cousin, makes me think that she should have sucked it up even more because your family.
And if she says the dress is too expensive, can you offer to put some money towards it and see what she says?
Post # 7
@FoxyBride14: But when I asked my cousin what her price limit was, she told me $400. This dress is well below $400. Im afraid that if I offer to cover a portion of her dress, then the other girls might get bitter. I cant afford to do that for all 8 dresses because I am also paying for the whole wedding which will be Big, Fat, and Greek LOL.
How would I go about maybe covering a portion of the dress just for her? Every family event whether it be Birthdays, Engagements, Anniversarys, whatever, she always tries to make it about her. But the fact that she’s my cousin if I tell her to “step down” that might cause a rift in the family because her sister is also a bridesmaid. Im screwed
Post # 8
I think she has a valid point. It definitely is not the most flattering style for anyone with wide hips. On the other hand, if she normally wears tight clothes, the style may have nothing to do with her objections.
She sent you a drunk text. If she doesn’t contact you when she’s sober, ignore it and carry on with your appointment.
Post # 9
7/8 is pretty damn good IMO. I wouldn’t change the dress.
Post # 10
@MsBark: Well if she told you her budget was $400, and it’s under $400 then just says “when I picked the dress I kept everyone’a budget in mind. This dress cost $250 (or whatever it cost) and even with alterations that’s well under your $400 budget. I’m very confused as to why, now, it’s too much for you. This is the dres that I chose and this is the dress that everyone will wear. I was really excited about this whole experience and you tainted it for me”
Seriously, this girl just sounds like a brat. What does your aunt say about this? Because if I was the cousin and my mom heard I was pulling this shit she would tell me to just suck it up and stay quiet.
Post # 11
Honestly, in all of the weddings I have been in usually no one likes the dress. but, it’s not your day so you keep your mouth shut, put a smile on, and do your bridesmaid duties. When you agree to be a part of the wedding you know you are more than likely going to wear something you don’t like and even though everyone claims you can “wear it again”, you won’t. It’s hard to find a dress that works for 8 totally different woman.
Post # 12
I’ve hated all the bridesmaid dresses I’ve worn. Tell her to get over it.
Post # 13
The dress is beautiful. I also have a large bridal party – 7 people. Every one said they loved the dress and if they dont – well, I am not too concerned. When they get married I will wear whatever they ask me to and pay the price. That is the commitment you make when agreeing to be the bridesmaid. It is not their day – It is YOURS.
Post # 14
She can suck it up. It’s your day, not hers, and part of saying “yes” to being a bridesmaid is the agreement to wear a dress not of your choosing (that may in fact be hideous), and then to smile and nod when the bride tells you it can be shortened/dyed and worn again later.
I took my girls’ suggestions into consideration during choosing–I had a bunch of styles and told them, it will be X color in Y fabric, which style is your favorite–but after the decision was made, they all knew there was no going back! I’d let it go.
Post # 15
@MsBark: bridesmaids hate the dresses 99% of the time in my experience. Don’t stress over it! She can handle wearing a dress she doesn’t love for one day.
Post # 16
When I first opened the thread, I expected to see something hideously poofy or very revealing. I actually like the dress. It’s pretty, and something I would keep to wear again if it looked good on me.
That said, I can see how it doesn’t suit her particular body type. Maybe it’s just the picture, but she seems a little top-heavy for it. The skirt looks fine on her hip, but the bust doesn’t flatter her torso very much. But with 8 bridesmaids, the dress isn’t going to look spectacular on everyone’s body so she should just grin and bear it. Also, if she gets a good strapless bra, it could do wonders to keep the puppies up and perky, which would then make her torso appear less boxy in that dress.