Post # 1
Hey LadiesI really need some advice right now. I just got married two weeks ago. Fresh off my honeymoon when my new husband drops this bomb on me. That his best friends wife (his good friend too) told him two weeks before the wedding that she had feelings for him and even though shes married to his best friend and apart of the bridal party she wanted him to know how she felt before the wedding. WHEW!!! He replied by going off and saying he was gonna tell me. she pleaded with him not to cause she didnt want to ruin my day so he said he wouldn’t but for her to stay away from him and not speak to him. days leading up to the wedding she was a bit over bearing sending me texts wanting to hang out with me and my sisters etc etc. So much that I told him to tell her to back off shes bothering me.
So now to the matter at hand, were home and he tells me what she said and I go off….. Y did u let her stand up there with me? He said he thought it was best to not stress me out b4 the wedding FYI we already had alot of family drama going on. I told him I was gonna confront her and of course she denied it even after I told her he saved the texts to show me.
How do I not be angry with him for not telling me before the wedding? I feel really betrayed!!!
Post # 3
It is sad that this happened, but I really don’t think you should be upset with your husband. He had your best interests at heart. I would cut him some slack. He did the right thing by telling her to go away and not talk to him anymore, and then he told you after the fact because of what you were going through with her.
Post # 4
He did what he thought best at the time
He certainly did not betray you.
He told her he was going to tell you, and told her to stay away from him.
He told you when you were home from your honeymoon.
Would you really have wanted to know ahead of time with all the drama that would have created?
He is not the one who did anything wrong- it was her.
Post # 5
I agree with Noritake. While I’d be mad (ok, furious and done with her), I think your husband was just looking out for you since he knew there was a lot of stress going on already. He did what he thought was best for you, talked to you after the celebration and honeymoon were over, and had told her no from the get-go. I’d be done with her for good, but try not to let his actions get to you, he sounds like he really was just looking out for you.
Post # 6
I agree, your husband made a brave call… but it sounds like in the future, you’d prefer to hear these things right away. As long as he agrees that in the future he’ll tell you something like this right away, I think he deserves the benefit of the doubt here!
Btw, how did he handle things with his best friend? It must be incredibly awkward for him to have to tell his best friend about the wife’s betrayal…
Post # 7
I would be mad, yes, but at HER. He was just trying to make things a little easier on you. If he had told you before the wedding and you dropped her from the party you would have been a bm short, stressed even more, upset that someone would do that, etc. I would rather have him wait to tell me so that my day and honeymoon were happy ones. At least he told her to stay away and told you about it.
Post # 8
I think he did you a favor. Look back at your wedding. Less drama then. And he loves you that much that he wanted to protect you. <3 aww cute!
Be mad at her, but not at him, not at all.
Post # 9
I don’t think he did anything wrong at all, and I think he made the best decision given the circumstances. If he told you right away, I think there would have been a drama-s***-storm and a LOT of extra stress and emotions (the ones you don’t want on your wedding day).
You can be upset at her all you want. She’s the one that put your husband in that position in the first place, and I think he handled the situation exceptionally well. Please don’t be upset at your husband with the way he handled it. I think he was very thoughtful towards you, and sounds like you got a good catch!
Post # 10
i think your husband made the best choice for the time and situation that he was put in, he too is the innocent victim in this
you can always photoshop her out of the pics and move on and focus on the happiness of your wedding day but if you had to deal with the drama before/on the day then you would have carried that with you on your very important day
Post # 11
I agree with the other Bees that he made the best choice at the time. He knew it would ruin your day and didn’t want it to. He’d already told her he wasn’t interested and let he know that he would be telling you, so in his mind there was no sense in hurting you.
Post # 12
I would be upset too. But look at it this way, could you imagine if he had told you what happened just a few days before your wedding? Idk about you, but I probably would have freaked out on my FI, probably gotten into a fight with the ho bag and it would have ruined the whole experience.
IMO, he did the right time for a VERY awkward situation.
Post # 13
I know it’s hard, but you have to realize that he had YOUR best interests in mind by not telling you. I’m sure that it weighed him down a lot, but he did it to ensure that you had a wonderful, beautiful experience – which it sounds like you did! He handled the situation with the ‘friend’ perfectly; told her to back off, didn’t waver in his loyalty to you. Perhaps now you should sit down with him and calmly explain that from now on you want to know things upfront, always, no matter what. Don’t let this woman ruin your memories of your Wedding Day, or your feelings towards DH. Good luck!
Post # 14
@MS INVISIBLE: He didn’t betray you – she did. I think he genuinely did what he thought was best and he DID do the right thing by telling you immediately after the honeymoon. SHE is the one who acted abominably – not him. Try not to let this spoil a happy time in your life.
Post # 15
I know it would be difficult to not be mad at anyone right now but I think even though your husband didnt do what you wanted him to do, he did act conscientiously and do what he thought was in your best interest at the point in time. That is something that must be appreciated.
Post # 16
I think he did great. He told her off and kept you from flipping out on your wedding day. Then he told you what happend. You should make him dinner and give him a big kiss. Keep reinforcing his good behavior.