Bridesmaid issue

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
3280 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

I’d just give her a +1 to keep the peace. I thought it was standard for all wedding party members to have +1s.

Post # 5
626 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

I’m sorry but I think no matter what everyone in the bridal party should have a +1 it shouldn’t matter the reason why. If someone doesn’t like it then they should have less bridal party members or none at all.

They are doing alot for the bride, and unless the bride is paying for everything from the dress to hair etc, I think its tacky to have someone take their time and money and not be able to bring a +1

Sorry one of my bridesmaids is in another friend’s party and they did the same thing, she’s not happy and I don’t blame her. she’s shelling out prob $400-500 to be in the party.


Post # 6
537 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@classical_wolf:  Best friend? You don’t sound like you’re treating her as if she’s your best friend. Give her the +1.

Post # 7
1383 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@classical_wolf:  sorry you’re having an issue. I personally believe the bridal party should get a +1 regardless if their relationship status due to their being in your wedding and all that goes along  with it (time/expense) but that’s just me.

Post # 10
168 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

@classical_wolf:  Your options are either to stick to your guns or allow everyone in the wedding party a +1. If give in to her, instead of having just one unhappy person, you will have multiple unhappy people (everyone else in the bridal party).

Post # 12
2302 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2015

decide if this is a hill you want to die on. seriously. if she is your best friend, and she honestly feels uncomfortable, sad etc that she will be alone on your wedding day, will it be worth the upset feelings, hurt and tension between the two of you not to let her have a date? it sounds like she’s not even 100% she would bring someone. 

ten years from now, will it desperately matter to you that she brought someone (that you likely won’t even notice) and had a better time? or will you feel happy that, if your relationship deteriorates, you stuck to your guns and saved 100 dollars not to have her bring a date?

which is going to make you happier? that you won the ‘bring a date’ game, or that your friend is happy and feels respected by you? 

i think it’s rude that she’s pushing the issue. i do. but i also think that brides lose sight of the fact that these people will hopefully be your friends AFTER the wedding. so decide if this is an issue you’re willing to risk the closeness of your friendship on. 

Post # 13
428 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

A +1 for the bridal party is like a “thank you” for shelling out the money to be in your bridal party, hosting showers/parties, and being supportive.  I’m really surprised she’s the only one in the bridal party that has spoken up.  Hopefully the two of you can reach some sort of agreement so that your friendship isn’t damaged.

Post # 13
312 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

It kind of seems like you have made up your mind and arent going to change it. Im not sure this forum is necessary for this issue.

Post # 14
264 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

classical_wolf:  I am totally with you on not giving +1s so people can bring random dates to your wedding just so they have a date. However, if it is going to burn bridges with her and make her so hurt that she wouldn’t want to be a part of your day, I would make that exception.

But I would talk with her first and explain your reasoning behind not wanting to give a plus one. That way she u derstands it isn’t a personal attack.

I hope it goes well! I’m in the same situation with my sister. I am going to try to hold strong, since her reasoning is “so I have someone to slow dance with”.

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