- 3 years ago
- Wedding: May 2014
Hello everyone! I’m having a bit of an issue and I don’t know how to approach it. Growing up from the age of five, our next door neighbors had a granddaughter my age. She was only able to come visit during summer and Christmas, but when she did, we were attached at the hip. I looked so forward to her visits, and I always considered her one of my best friends.
Around age 17, she was going through a lot of things. Her mother passed away, a couple of years later a boy she had dated for years committed suicide…she just went through a lot. During this time, since she was many states away and moved constantly (military), we didn’t get to talk much. The years passed, and although I still considered her a friend, we didn’t talk at all.
Fast forward about four and a half years later….she texts me one day and tells me she has moved in next door with her grandparents and would love to see me. I’m excited of course, and we get together and chat! It takes me about three seconds to tell how different we have become. I’m kind of girly, into fashion and hair, etc. She is the exact opposite. We shop at different stores (I’m a Forever 21 type while she is a Hot Topic type). I quiet and conscious of others and she is loud and draws attention to herself. BUT with that all being said, I truly can be friends with anybody! So I just accept how she is, because she has always been my friend and I wouldn’t change that over the way we dress or act. My FI makes fun of her to me but I tell him that she needs a good person in her life and I’m not going to be just another person to let her down because she is different. But I don’t blame him for finding her a bit odd…
Anyway, we’ve been hanging out every few days, going to the zoo or her just coming over. Last night we got on the topic of weddings. She was talking about how when her and her boyfriend (who isn’t here with her but they have been together for years) get married, she wants me to be her MOH. I believe this, because I’m really her only friend! I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I had already picked my bridal party and she isn’t even in it. In my defense, I didn’t even know she would be here! But my wedding is still 10 months away.
The problem is….I don’t really want to add her either. We are just SO different, and I kind of make myself hang out with her even though she is still my friend. She can honestly embarrass me with how loud and vulgar she can be in public…I’m going to be a teacher and I worry that in my small town people will associate that type of behavior with me. I definitely had plans of inviting her to the wedding, but I don’t have a vision of her standing up with my fellow BMs in a sweet blue dress and high heels lol…..
So now, I prepare to get blasted for being a bad friend….but the truth is that I really just need to know how to break this to her. She isn’t going to be in my bridal party. Too much time has passed without us talking, I picked my BMs months ago, I already have 5. She and I are super different, although we are friends, and she can get on my nerves because she wants to hang out with me constantly. The only thing that would make me want to include her is that she and I grew up together and that she has always been a good friend.
Am I awful?