Post # 1
Okay, so there’s a girl that I’ve known since elementary school, and I can’t say that I’ve ever been good friends with her. Pretty much just acquaintances, and that’s all. I saw her over a year ago at a friend’s wedding, and she’s on my chat list so we talk online. That’s it though.
Somehow, she’s gotten it into her head that she’s a bridesmaid. I don’t want her to be a bridesmaid, and I don’t even want her at the wedding. She’s taken it upon herself to give plenty of advice and tell me what venues and stuff I should look at. I was just going to ask my two best friends to be in the bridal party, and that’s it. If I do add on anyone else, I have other really close friends that I would choose. Plus, we’re on a pretty tight budget, so there’s going to be pretty much no one outside of family invited. Euugh, what should I do? I’m so wimpy, and I just hate being the bearer of bad news.
Post # 3
From what you’ve posted it doesn’t SEEM like she assumes she’s a BM. Maybe she just *really* likes weddings and likes to talk about them with people.
Now as far as probably not inviting her due to budget contraints, I’d tell her just that. “Because our budget is so small, we’re only inviting family. I wish we could invite everyone, but it’s just not possible” and leave it at that.
Post # 4
I probably should have added that she says things like, “I’m so excited about being a bridesmaid!” and etc.
Post # 5
How did she get it in her head? That really sucks though, I guess talk to her as though she were and tell her that with the budget you’ve got and it seems like she got so much going on in her own life that you don’t want to stress her or anything like.
Or you can out rightly tell her that she is not a bridesmaid and you are so sorry if you ever said anything to confuse her.
Post # 6
I wouldn’t beat around the bush – the next time she starts talking wedding with you, I would tell her that you’re keeping the wedding small/family only for budgetary reasons, and therefore you’re sorry you can’t make her a bridesmaid and sorry if you led her to believe she was (even though you’re not really “sorry,” it may soften the blow). No sense in letting her continue to think she’s a BM and then be REALLY disappointed/upset after she’s chosen her dream BM dress and all.
Post # 7
Yeah, I tend to blab wedding advice to engaged acquaintances who don’t necessarily ask for it. Maybe she just likes to talk weddings? Has she said anything specifically about being a bridesmaid? Because then it could get tricky …
Post # 8
It sucks being in this position, but you know what you have to si. (I mean you’re not planning on really just having her as a BM, right?)
I think you could approach it as, “Gee, I would have loved to have had larger reception, and bridal party, but I just can’t afford it. So we can only invite close family to the wedding.”
Also, do you think she’s a bit clingy? Does she maybe not have many friends? Not that it really matters. But it’s strange that you barely feel like she’s an acquaintance and she thinks she’s a BM. That’s a wide gap.
Post # 9
Thanks for all the advice! I think I’m going to do the whole, I’m just choosing A & B because we want a really small wedding party, blah blah blah, and then say stuff about how we’re going to be having a very small wedding with family only because of budget. Let’s hope this works, because she can be a pretty pushy person at times…and unfortunately, I can be a massive wimp at those critical moments.
Post # 10
I think that sounds good and although it might make you feel uncomfortable/horrible at least it’s online and not face to face. It would be a lot harder if you see her all the time. I find it odd she’s took it upon herself to even think she is a bridesmaid without formally being asked. She’s probably just got carried away with the whole wedding thing! I love weddings and could talk about them all day non stop, lol…. Good luck!