- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
Seriously. A bridesmaid just got engaged on valentines day and just told me that she is getting married the same day as me now because it was the only day her venue had the date open. She has been in my bridal party since like, September. It is now almost March. Do I have a right to be upset??!! Another thing that irks me is I paid the deposit for her dress already, and she hasn't paid me back yet and it's been 3 months since I've paid it. It seems to me like she wasn't too interested in my wedding to begin with.
I responded telling her thanks for letting me know, I am sad that she won't be able to be in my wedding and even AT my wedding, and the same for me. The other frustrating thing is that we have some mutual friends from college; making them choose who's wedding to go to is just awful!
oh wow! can she not get married the next year?! but again my little sister got engaged valentine's day as well and wants to get married nye in my hometown (the day after my destination wedding!) so yeah shrug your shoulders and keep it moving (chocolate also is a great stress reliever) lol!
wow! that's just ridiculous! i'd be pretty pissed off. i had a similar thing happen and i am no longer friends with the girl. she was just too jealous and had to constantly try to one up everything i did. it got annoying fast. she JUST got engaged and she's already picked a venue and a date? what is her rush anyway? there are 365 days in a year and she has to choose the one you chose? that's irresponsible on her part, she told you she would be in your wedding, you paid for her dress, and your wedding is her obligation. it's also not fair to make mutual friends have to pick. good luck!!
No, that's so messed up! She got engaged after you. If she's a good friend, or at least respects you, she should of just choosen the next available date. Not only out of respect for you, but because its not right to put your mutual friends in a position where they have to choose which wedding to attend. There would most certainly be long lasting hard feelings if this were to happen to me. Honestly, I'd freak out. And I'd insist that she pay me back for the deposit!
i mean it's not fair for the friends because she decided to be selfish.
Aww I'm sorry chicy <3 You do have a right to be upset...geez can't she wait to get married?
Ooooh that's so shady! I'm sorry that happened! And she's gonna stiff you on the deposit, I feel it. . .sorry so sorry.
Her actions are so tacky i'm speechless.
ummm ew. I would totally be pissed! You have EVERY right to be upset especially if she's a close enough friend to be in your wedding party! I find that pretty freakin hard to believe there isn't a single day that could work! Bunch of BS if you ask me!
Chin up and get your save the dates out first so everyone knows and commits to your first ;)
oh and DEFINITELY get that money from her!
I can kind of not even believe that? I find it hard to believe that someone would do that!!!!
Thats a horrible thing to do!!! I am so sorry your friend did this to you, she doesnt really seem to be much of a friend. I truly hope things get better for you.
BOO for her.. she BETTER not join the weddingbee. haha just kidding.
Im so sorry ... if it takes chosing sides.. I think its pretty obvious WHO everyone would pick!
That's awful. Doesn't sound like she's someone you'd want standing up with you anyway. This may be for the best...
Unbelievable! I just don't get people acting like that! I hope you can sell her dress.
WTF!!!! That is the most selfish thing I have ever heard! Why would someone do that and think that was okay?
i would be a zillion dollars that you're eating that deposit. Sorry to hear about your crappy friend.. Get all of your STDs out pronto. What a junky situation!
I feel like that can't even be real. I mean, I believe you, but really...who does that? I can't even imagine what you feel right now! Hugs for you. I hope you two can make it through this!
that's not a friend.
oh and let all your mutual friends know what an inconsiderate B* she has been.
Ummm...yeah. That's awful.
I mean, it's one thing if she were a guest at your wedding and ended up having her wedding on the same day (that's still bad, but not AS bad, in my opinion) but she already told you she'd stand up with you and support you, dresses have been ordered and deposits have been paid...BY YOU. Geez.
I think that you were awfully nice in your response to her. I may have said some other things...some other not nice things. Honestly, while we all know how difficult it is to pick a day, venue, etc that works for everyone and checks all of our boxes, when you say that you're going to be a bridesmaid for someone...barring death and illness, you should be there. It's not just about wearing a pretty (or not so pretty) dress and helping someone pee while holding their dress. It's about standing up to support a close friend or family member during one of the most (if not THE most) important moments in their lives. You asked her to support YOUR MARRIAGE, not just come and hang out at a wedding. BAH! I'm indignant on your behalf.
I'm SO sorry this has happened.
Have to agree with everyone....that is just not a good move on your friends behalf.
That is so not right! I'm sorry. Hopefully her conscious comes back to her and she will realize that her actions are unreasonable and hurtful. Is there any way you two could talk more about this and see if she is open to compromising on the date?
If not, are you both getting married in the same area and/or at completely different times of the day? If so, maybe it could still work out that at least your mutual guests would not have to choose whose wedding to attend.
That is awful! I hope she wasn't a really, really good friend because this will probably ruin the friendship.
I just ... this is .... how crappy! I can imagine how awful and frutrated and hurt you feel. Is the BM dress deposit refundable? If not, I would make her pay it. She should NOT be leaving you with that bill.
And I really hope your mutual friends are mature enough to see that their devotion is to you in this situation.
ooo, I'd be so pissed. Telling you that she can't be in your wedding is straight up rude! She has to recognize that on some level. Maybe she's not who you thought she was. Good luck, try to keep a smile on and remember you have a lot of other friends who wouldn't do that to you.
Yeah, I think this may be a count your blessings, she gave you a sign that there is no need for her to be in your life in the future.
I woud be really upset!!!! I am sorry. Good job on handling it so well though!
(PS, we are date twins too!!!!)
WOW!! That is really inconsiderate. I find it hard to believe that she could not find another date in the entire year to have her wedding on!
I'm so sorry. This is one instance where I'd be very upset too. Have you mailed your STD's yet? Hopefully your guests will know your wedding was in the works long before hers.
I, too, don't understand why should couldn't hold off until next year.
(((hugs)))
Wow-- that's so wrong. I would be pissed! Sorry you have to deal with this. :(
How horrible! Send out your STDs now if you haven't already. That way at least your mutual friends will see that what she's doing.
that's aweful.
i would make sure to let your mutual friends know your date asap (if you didn't already). i had two friends get married on the same day before and i felt like i had to go to the one who told me first because when she told me i said "of course i'll be there, can't wait, etc." and then the other one told me the date and i said, "crap. so and so is getting married that day." he wasn't happy but he understood.
Thanks girls. It is pretty crappy. It supposedly was the one day the venue they wanted had open. They really want to do it this year. Oh well. Such is life I guess. She said she feels horrible and it makes her sick to her stomach to have to do this to me.
The dresses haven't been ordered thankfully. She's lucky I have been so indecisive on them. I can apply the deposit to either my mom's dress or to another BM's dress. The deal was for her to pay me back, 3 months ago. I have a feeling there is something else up because she didn't pay me back the deposit in 3 months time.
We were very close in college. Since then we've been sporatic in our communication but I am like that with a lot of people. But we always seemed to value our friendship regardless. Know what I mean? We were both lax in our communication, not just me. And she agreed and seemed delighted to be in my wedding.
My STD's haven't been sent yet but I have a feeling they will be this weekend, just in case! There are only a few mutual friends she planned to invite, and they happen to be ones I wasn't going to so I guess that part is fine. At least people don't have to choose. Our weddings will be in two totally different areas.. hours apart.
It truly sucks but there is nothing I can do. I appreciate all of your support. Thank you..... :)
whoa, that's not cool. did she explain why she had to pick that date or show any regret? i could understand if there were circumstances (sick relative, impending deplyment, etc.) that gave her no other choice, but without that and an explanation to you, i think that's really weird that she would want to split up your friends that way and not be a part of your wedding. i'm really sorry about that.
You should sit down with a giant CocaCola and a big tub of buttery popcorn and watch Bride Wars. Honestly I have NO IDEA why you would be friends with her after this. She's a *bleep!*
Whoa! Bride Wars, anyone? I recommend a botched spray tan for her! Seriously, that is a REALLY, really crappy thing for her to do. I'm guessing that since you've been engaged since March other's most likely already know when your wedding is. I think this will cause most people to raise their eyebrows when they learn when hers is and hopefully they will realize what a crappy thing she did! I would remind her of the dress deposit but not hold your breath for it...if nothing else I would probably get a little catty (emotions run high regarding these types of things) and tell her that she can consider the deposit her wedding present! Good luck and definite kudos to you for being the bigger person!
SO RUDE. I second the Bride Wars suggestion. Hopefully your college friends know what the situation is. Something similar happend to us with one of our ushers and luckily everyone took our side. I believe in karma. Keep your civility and your level head even though you are fuming inside and things will work out. If I were a guest in this situation and friends with both of you I would be PISSED and would certainly be attending the first bride's wedding. So keep that in mind.
I definitely told her I was upset. But I surely am not all "you suck you "bleep!" like I want to say. I mentioned the deposit by saying, "I had a feeling something was up since you haven't paid your deposit back yet. Hopefully I can apply it to my mom's dress or something."
And she said that she plans to invite so and so, and if I plan to invite them then she won't so that they won't have to choose. I didn't tell her I don't plan on inviting so and so. I just told her that I wouldn't ask her to not invite certain people.
She sucks. Blaaahhh! lol :) :) :)
This is actually a good thing. You have found out what kind of friend she is now rather than after the wedding. Trust me, personality flaws like that always come out eventually. Imagine having to spend the rest of your life looking at wedding pictures with a friend you hated in them? That's so much worse than her cancelling now!
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| ellisrobertson | 24 |
| fishbone | 22 |
| ndreighton | 18 |
| Brielle | 16 |
| ladyartichoke | 15 |
 rdownie1 |
15 |
| Samantha7 | 14 |
| MsPanda | 14 |
| aduarte3201 | 14 |
| mypinkshoes | 13 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| sylvia.riggle |
5 |
| peachacid | 5 |
| smcs28 | 3 |
| Zouave | 3 |
| HollyCJ | 3 |
| blueskies7 | 3 |
| armychica06 | 2 |
| imageeksowhat | 2 |
| BellaDee | 2 |
| tenacity | 2 |
