Weddingbee boards

My cousin/very very close friend just pulled out of my wedding via email :(. I emailed her letting her know about the shower that my other bm (M's sister planned) and she let me know she's not going to be able to be in the wedding.  I hope everything is okay but I am pretty sad. I never imagined being married without her there with me.  Thank goodness I only bought her one personalized gift, I'll just send it to her for her birthday that's coming up in April I guess or maybe give it to her for Christmas.

This sucks.

I'm so sorry to hear that. Did she give any reason? That really does suck. ((hugs))

No reason, nothing.  I am heartbroken more than anything. I feel like I just got punched in the stomach.

this was the email:

"Soory, B I am not going to be able to be in the wedding in Dec"

My response was:

"Okay no biggie, what's wrong, is everything okay?"

It is a biggie though :(.  She's like my closest cousin. If it is a money thing, I can definitely try to purchase her dress, etc for her. I hope that is all it is and I will just pay for that because how can I have a wedding without my closest friends? I only have 4 bridesmaids, you know?  C'est la vie.

Maybe you should call her or arrange a coffee date. It sounds like there's something going on in the background. I get that not everyone wants to air their laundry, but I think she owes you a little bit of an explanation. Like you said, if it's a money issue, there are ways to help. I would let her know how much you value your relationship and how much it would mean to you if you guys could figure out a way to make it work. I hope it works out hon, keep us posted.

@bakerella: she's at home in TN, so I probably won't see her for a few months

@rainbow: I doubt if she'll be able to attend the wedding at all if she's not in it, she'll probably back out of everything. I hope it's just money as well and I can definitely try to accommodate her as best as I can. I am just really sad right now because she and I are so close...

@chacha: i totally know and understand if it is a money issue because it is a recession and I am getting married 6 hours away from home and sigh... i have no idea what to do...

@labor: i hope so too.. she's at work and i cannot call her right now...

my mom is not going to be happy at all :( nor is her mom.  her mom is my favorite aunt (shhh don't tell the others lol) and i honestly cannot imagine her not being in my wedding. the thought makes me sooo sad.  i should stop thinking about it or else i am going to burst into tears.  oh well... i always wanted a small wedding so now i will have three bridesmaids instead of four and M will have like five guys lol.  Most of my girls wouldn't mind being escorted by two guys and well his friends would love it because my friends are haute to death anyway lol...

@spaniel: yeah it is but at least i got a picture back from my etsy seller today (i am doing a ginormous flower on my waist and she had one in mind for me and with some minor tweaking it's perfect...

@maisymay: yeah that sucked.. i doubt if my cousin will completely disappear i hope she won't but i also know that sometimes my engagement can be hard because it was the two of us against the world, we are the last in our family to get married and she is a few years older than me. so i knew it would be hard. i secretly hoped she'd get engaged to her beau and we'd plan our weddings together which would rock.

@prncss: i doubt if she'll give me one.. i'm going to assume it's financial

@sep: i am not sure but i doubt it, she wouldn't just say no to being in the wedding and not come. i hope she will come though. i wouldn't mind as long as she was there with me, you know?

@whitesonnet: i'll call her tonight (she's at work) and i shot her back a quick email thinking she'd be able to answer but she hasn't yet.  i just hope everything is okay although i am really sad (not disappointed though because i know if she could be in the wedding, she would)

@trugem: i'm sure it will be masked by money or something like that but then again she does pay an obscene amount to get her hair done every week or so, but her priorities are different than mine and i cannot expect someone to sacrifice for my wedding, you know what i mean? i am hurt but even if it is just about money and she is doing other things with it, that's because she wants to do it with it and i understand that. my wedding is only a priority to me and i definitely know that when dealing with my own clients, etc.

@RB: I called and she didn't answer. I am really not too surprised about it.  We were the single cousins for a very long time and I knew she would take it hard (although I could be off base and this may not be the reason since she hasn't answered the phone when I called).

@janna: that's sort of how she is, if she's feeling down or something like that she sort of withdraws and I am usually the one to pull her back from her shell, she's quite shy and sweet and very very funny and sassy.  my sister said she's been acting strange lately so I hope she is okay I won't know until later...

@blue: but london is a completely cook kick arse reason and congratulations to her, you know?! what an awesome bachelorette party that would be (very wedding date style, ohhh i'm jealous lol)!!!

@trugem: exactly. i mean i am not too surprised, but i am surprised that she did it via email. we haven't really chatted or talked too much since I got engaged and i know that my engagement or weddings come up a lot in our convo because of my business and engagement, you know?

Update: she hasn't answered the phone so I am just going to go ahead and move forward with everything and hope that she is okay. I do have a great monogrammed tote that I can give her for a birthday or a Christmas gift, I'm not too sure.  But I guess I learned a lesson, don't buy monogrammed totes for your bridesmaids 10 months before the wedding.  Whatever. I'm in a funk about this for sure.