Post # 1
I have 6 bridesmais. 3 are local, 2 are 20 hours away and 1 is 8 hours away. I adore my bridesmaids and I’m so glad I have each of them involved in the wedding. Other than getting their dresses I have asked virtually nothing of my bridesmaids so far. No help, no planning, etc. They aren’t even throwing me a bridal shower. My church offered too so they got off the hook for that. The one thing that was really important to me was that they try their hardest to be there for my shower. The date has been picked for 3 or 4 weeks now. We had a hard time picking a date due to lots of scheduling conflicts with the church, college, family, mom’s wedding, etc. But we finally picked a date. In picking the date I picked I tried to make it to where 4 out of 6 bridesmaids could come, specifically one in particular.
Today this bridesmaid informs me that she thinks she’s going to have to miss it. Her boyfriend of 3 months grandpa is coming to visit our college that weekend and she wants to stay all weekend to be with him. I understand the desire to be with him and know him. BUT I’m only asking for 3 hours out of her weekend to be spent at my shower that I planned so she could attend. It’s not for the sake of a gift or anything, I just wanted her there. The way she even told me was rude. We were just having lunch with some friends and she randomly says “by the way I’m not gonna come to your shower ok?” I was surprised and just said “oh, thats too bad I had really hoped you’d be there” and she responded with a shrug “oh well who cares”
I’m really trying not to expect too much of my maids. truly. We are all young. (I’m 18, oldest is 19, youngest is 16) BUT I do expect them to contribute and desire to be there. Am i being ridiculous and a bridezilla? How would you feel? Should I say something to her?
Post # 3
- Wedding: June 2014 - EDD 06/12/2016
@meganelizabeth17: I personally would say something to her… Especially if she’s only been with her bf for 3 months. I think your shower is way more important!
Post # 4
@meganelizabeth17: that’s too bad, especially if you put the effort into scheduling a time when she could be there. However, her way of telling you definitely could have been more polite either way. I think a large part of it is her age and immaturity. As a younger bridesmaid in college, I’m sure she’s having an issue understanding why being at your shower should be a priority, especially if it involves balancing time with her boyfriend. My 19 year old sister is my MOH, and we had to have a discussion when it came time to shop for my dress, because her plans to hang out with friends she sees all the time were apparently more important than helping me choose a wedding dress.
You can either let it go or try to talk nicely to her about it and explain why you want her there. Don’t be surprised though if she turns it into an argument and gets defensive.
Post # 5
I had 2 showers and neither of them had all of my BMs at them. It was no big deal. People have lives outside of my wedding activities.
Post # 6
@meganelizabeth17: I think it sort of sucks if she was invited to the shower first, but then opted out for “grandpa” after the fact. If I were here, I would have made the shower, but then made sure the rest of the weekend was saved for bf’s grandpa.
I have a BM (one of FI’s sister) who can’t make my shower. She has to work. Technically speaking, I think she got the invite in enough time to take time off, but I am trying to be understanding. She already had to take the weekend before my shower off for her sister’s baby shower, and truthfully, while we are going to be family, we aren’t super close yet, so I am not offened. We definitely wanted our siblings to be in the wedding though-