Bridesmaid Needs Special Shoes

posted 1 year ago in Shoes
Member
9143 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Why not just ask her to purchase a pair of shoes that match and are comfortable for her?  This doesn’t seem like it has to be something for you to worry about!

Member
675 posts
Busy bee

can she not wear a partial covered heel strap heel? Can she wear ballet flats? What does she normally wear for dressing up? I would make a day of show shopping one on one with her, that way she will know that her issue is a concern of yours and you want to help make it a comfortable experience for her. Plus I think we all should take a day with each of our BM to spend QT one on one.

Member
5669 posts
Bee Keeper

I also have problems with my feet, and so does one of my BMs. Solution? Get her to buy and provide her own shoes. If you have foot problems then your choice of footwear may be so limited that nobody will ever be able to shop on your behalf. For example, I can only shop in one high street shop which provides shoes in a certain shape. About 80% of my shoes come from that shop.

Why is this your problem anyway? Is it that you want them all in the same pair of shoes? If that’s the case, you are either going to have to accept that they can’t all wear the same shoes, or you are going to have to let the BM with the foot problem choose two or three pairs which she could wear, and then select one of her choices. What you CAN’T do is to keep bringing pairs of shoes to her and have her reject them, because that is a frustrating experience for both of you.

Member
5270 posts
Bee Keeper

Does she already own a pair of dress shoes she could wear?  I decided to let my BMs wear shoes they already had to keep their expenses down.  Maybe she has a pair of black dressy shoes that would work with her BM dress?

Member
5669 posts
Bee Keeper

@born2teachuga:  Fair play… I didn’t mean for that to come out as mean sounding! I do think she needs to pick though. It will be so frustratng for you if you end up making suggestion after suggestion and she rejects them all! At the end of the day, the only person who really understands her feet is her. If they are really bad, she will just have to step up and choose for herself, because a load of strangers on the internet simply don’t understand her body in the same way she does.

I understand the frustration though. I”ve asked my BMs to buy their own shoes. I told them they could wear whatever they liked as long as it was in X colour and completely plain. I bet you a large sum of cash that, come the month before the wedding, NOBODY will have bought the shoes. I’m guessing you’re in the same boat as me… things don’t get done unless you do them, right? Unfortunately you’re in a catch 22 here… she has to step up and do the job, but I’m suspecting that she isn’t especially motivated to get searching right now, maybe? Just a guess. Correct me if I’m wrong.

Member
25943 posts
Honey Beekeeper

I agree with pp’s. Tell her you have done some research on WeddingBee and the concensus is that the shoe will hardly be seen and doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things. Tell her that you want her to choose something that she feels comfortable in and that she will wear again.

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