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Not knowing her financial situation, I'd say don't expect to get the money back and move on. If she does eventually pay you back, consider it a nice surprise.
Honestly, I would say don't get her a gift for being a bridesmaid and if she asks why, just tell her you paid for her dress.
How old is FSIL? My FSIL still hasn't ordered her dress (ahh, the last one to do so!) But she's on the younger side, 23. So I just casually mentioned this to FMIL, who then flipped out on FSIL! And wa la--all done! I agree with Ejoy though--don't hold your breath! You may never see that $$ again...It's not fair, but it's true.
Give her a phone call!
Have you talked to your fiance about it?
I did the same as VirginaMarie suggested. My FSIL was supposed to come shopping with me and all my out of town bridesmaids, but called the day before to say she didn't think she had money to order a dress right now (4 months before the wedding, so we really couldn't wait much longer), so she wasn't coming. I totally had my fiance rat her out to their mom.
We offered her for us to either cover it until she could come up with the money, or that her mom would just pay for it.
I wouldn't start worrying too much yet. Two weeks is well within the span of time that a person might put off something they intend to take care of, but would rather not think about. Especially if she "isn't the type to send emails," I would not at all be surprised not to have received a thank-you email. It was definitely more than two weeks before I heard anything after I emailed FSIL to tell her that I had ordered her dress and asked for her to send me a check, and even then, it wasn't she who wrote, it was FMIL saying that she would be the one to send a check. (FSIL is still in college). I wouldn't say I'm close to FSIL either, but I do respect and love her, these things just aren't always immediate concerns to people who aren't planning a wedding. Try a polite reminder email and then ask your FI to give her a call.
Thanks for all your advice! She is 31, only a couple years older than me. She got married last year and she put me in charge of picking out all the tuxes and making sure the guys got measured and paid...I was not a bridesmaid, but I was willing to help. I guess I expected a little more from her since she knows what a bride goes through trying to get everything taken care of. I don't think it's so much the money I'm worried about (although the $$ would be helpful to have), it the fact that I went out of my way to help her for her wedding and I would like the favor returned for mine...maybe I'm just thinking a little too much about it. I guess two weeks is not a lot of time, so maybe I'll put it off for a while and see if she comes around then I'll go from there.
It sounds like you only invited her to be part of the BP because she asked you to help with her wedding. She may be feeling awkward that you even asked since you're not that close. Maybe she feels imposed on? If so, she should have declined the invite to even BE a BM...(did you formally ask her, or did you assume and tell her she would be one?). Just some thoughts.
It's difficult because my fiance is not very close to her either. When they see eachother over the holidays, it's great but they don't communicate much in between visits. I know we both would love to have a closer relationship with her. I asked her to be a bridesmaid because my fiance and I wanted all of our siblings to be a part of our special day. He is having my two brothers as groomsmen as well. While she was home over the holidays, I asked her to be a bridesmaid. I wrote individual poems for each girl and at the end asked them to share in our special day. She seemed very touched by the way I asked her. I'm jsut going to give it some time because I'm sure I'm thinking too much into this. Thanks again for your advice!
I agree with the commentor who said that if she doesn't pay for her dress, don't get her a gift and say you paid for her dress.
Also, have you considered calling her? Just to say, "Did you get my email? FYI, my CC bill is due so if you could pay me back, that would be great." I know I need my FI to nag me 5-6 times before I pay our credit card bill on time - I'm just never in the right place at the right time.
She also may not think that this was that nice of you to do - I mean, to anybody who is financially well off, fronting a couple hundred dollars because you didn't want to wait for her and her busy schedule to give you her CC info (which she may not have been comfortable doing anyway, but she should have said something), and you wanted to or had to place the order right away, it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. I would have acknowledged the email, definitely, but I'm not sure a thank you would have felt necessary if I intended to pay you back and didn't see it as a huge burden on you to do it....
So what I'm saying is cut her some slack and see if she pays you back sometime in the next 7 months.
Well I would not worry about that money. Just see it as a good deed done by you to keep the peace. Why people accept and then are not gracious about it and involved is beyond me... I doubt she will participate in anything. I would send her another email, call her and send her the bill all within the same week. She probably will not respond (btw is she married? older? maybe she is bitter?) , but at least you tried and she will KNOW that she owed you for the dress. After that I would not worry, who cares, it is your special day and you shouldn't let this stress you out. I also would just not invite her to any bridal activities etc. And if she asks why say, "Well, I do not know how to get it touch with you".
Voila
I also think you never should have bought her dress, you should have given her a deadline and if she did not respond or purchase it by that date, then just moved ahead with your wedding party plans...
Haha sorry I just read all of your posts, I think she is probably having a personal problem. I would wait one month, THEN try to contact her regarding it again and just see whats up... if she does not reply just do not give her a gift and go on about your business!
Thats a tough situation to be in. She always could have said "no" when you asked her to be in your wedding. Then she would have no obligation to it. But since she said "yes" she has to uphold her agreement OR should have notified you if she was having 2nd thoughts about being in your wedding - then you would never of had to buy her dress.
I know a few people who are kinda "flaky" with getting back to me or even paying me back. In their case its just laziness and them thinking "its no big deal" if they respond or pay money back promptly. Some people just don't think about common manors.
I suppose I would just give it a bit more time. Maybe try to contact her a few more times (in a nice way) to try to get her to pay you back.
Even if money isn't an issue (its more of the "way" she is being) you could send her a message saying that "things are getting kinda crazy with the wedding and Im sure you can understand, and I would really appreciate it if you could pay me back for your bridesmaid's dress as soon as you can." Just to get this whole thing over and done with then you can go back to the things you should be worrying about instead of worrying about her.
Sorry :( My plan was to tell my girls right off the bat what the plans were for their dresses- they knew I would be paying and my exact budget per dress. So when we went shopping, it was a smooth process and there were no awkward situations.
God that is so annoying. I hope you get it resolved! I'd sort of expect never to see the money again but definitely talk to his parents about it if you can.
Unfortunately the MIL wouldn't be any help. I am sick of worrying about this, so I actually just sent a very polite email to the sister in law. I said, "I never heard back from you, so I wanted to make sure you had all the info for the dress, etc." If I don't get any response from this one, then I'm going to have to drop it. Hopefully it all gets resolved soon and I can move on and worry about more important things :)
Maybe I am alone in this, but I think that it is awfully rude of her to not respond, knowing that you are planning wedding, having gone through it herself the year before, having the money, being of age to know better. Which to me makes her lack of interest inexcusable. But alas, that is the torture of having "family". So as much as it pains us to be the bigger (albeit younger) person, bite the bullet and wait it out as others have suggested. Good luck
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My future sister in law will be in the wedding, mainly because she is family...we don't have much of a relationship since she lives far away and I barely know her. My fiance is having my brothers as groomsmen, so it was only fair. All my other bridesmaids and I went looking for the dress and they all paid without any hesitation. My future sister in law continually put off sending in her measurements, then she wouldn't give her credit card number (that's another story). It got to the point where I paid so the order could be placed. I sent her a very polite email telling her I put it on my credit card and the amount she owed. It's been two weeks and I haven't gotten a reply...not even a thank you! Does anyone have any suggestions on how to handle this? I hate confrontation, so I am worried this will stir up drama. I asked my fiance what to do and he couldn't offer any advice either...they don't have a close relationship either. She's never really been the type to send emails, but I think at least a thank you would be nice!?!?