Bridesmaid not responding! Wedding 2 months away

posted 2 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Wedding is in 2 months, should she still be in it?
    YES : (7 votes)
    50 %
    NO : (7 votes)
    50 %
  • Post # 2
    598 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2015 - Dreams Las Mareas - Costa Rica

    It would probably be too late for her to order her dress now anyway. I would assume that she doesnt want to be in it anymore but probably doesnt want to hurt your feelings. 

    Plus isn’t it odd that you aren’t speaking to her regularly just about life in general? maybe you two are not as close as you used to be…but she didnt know how to decline. 


    Post # 3
    337 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    Before you kick her out of the bridal party, I would wait a few more days to get her on the phone or to respond to your texts, you could also try to send her an email. If she does not respond, then it’s time to move on. Maybe there is something going on in her life that is consuming her time? I don’t know her so I can’t really comment on what it is.

    Post # 4
    42157 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    hill42:  Have you tried checking in with her and not mentioning your wedding at all? Tell her that you are concerned re her lack of response and are worrid that something is going on in her life. Ask if there is anything you can do to help.

    She may be having financial problems, can’t afford to order the dress and is embarassed about that.

    Post # 5
    199 posts
    Blushing bee

    I’m sorry you feel like your one bridesmaid isn’t into your wedding.  I have a bit of an issue with that myself (BMs not wanting to do toasts or be with me the morning of the wedding).  However, I think that if you’ve given her the parameters of the dress and it isn’t holding up any of the other bridesmaids you should just let it go.

    My bridesmaids all have to pick a long red chiffon dress from David’s bridal.  We’re getting married in September and I’m pretty sure that no one has really thought about dresses yet.  But they are all responsible adults and since they’ve been given the info in a timely manner, I’m not concerned about when or if they get their dresses.  Even if they get their dress the week before the wedding, I’m pretty sure they’d be able to find something that fits my parameters.  It may not be their top choice, but that’s on them, not me.  Even if they show up in something that doesn’t fit the dress parameters, I’d still happily have them stand up for me as bridesmaids/ stand up for my FI as groomswomen.  These are our closest friends and while we’d love to have a certain “look” at the ceremony – the people are far more important than the clothes.

    Post # 6
    743 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: October 2014 - Our Backyard/Steakhouse

    I’m assuming that you have at least told her the requirements for the dress.  All you can do is tell her when and where to show up.  Count on her not being there, and if she is it’s a bonus.

    To actually take the step of kicking her out though would be a friendship-ending move.  

    If she makes the choice to not be there, then that’s on her.

    Post # 7
    1737 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: December 2014 - 13th ~ TN

    hill42:  I am going to say no because, like the other bees have said, too late to order a dress. Unless you are doing the mismatch bridesmaids dress thing or you got them somewhere & she is a good size where she can go get one off the rack at the shop.

    Do you think it could be the financial burden? Maybe she has a good reason. I would send her a message and ask her to let you know one way or another because you need to get things straight with the wedding being in 2 months.

    Post # 8
    1528 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Can you call the bridal shop and see if she has ordered? For all you know, she has ordered and just hasn’t responded.

    Post # 10
    6692 posts
    Bee Keeper

    Some people are procrastinators and if she knows she has another two weeks to order, she may have been putting it off for financial or convenience related reasons.  It’s rude for her to not respond to your messages. Some people are really bad that way. It’s still possible it doesn ‘t reflect on her intentions to be in your wedding. She could also be embarrassed and avoiding you. I guess time will tell. 

    Post # 11
    2335 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: February 2014

    hill42:  I’ll give the opinion of a notoriously poor texter (my friends know 48 hour turnaround for me is pretty quick).  If I get a text but I know I’ll be seeing the person or have plans to speak by phone in the next couple days I may not respond.  Sometimes I THINK I’ve responded but then realize I wrote it and didn’t send it.  Or I wrote half of it and forgot to finish it.  But the big thing is that sometimes texts just don’t require a response, in which case I don’t respond, but lots of people do (when they do it annoys the heck out of people like me because we get another text…it’s a rough world for us non-texters).  So if you wrote “don’t forget ladies, you’ll need to order your dresses in the next two weeks!” I wouldn’t respond, there’s no question and no request for follow-up.  Now if you wrote “hey Suzie, just checking in, have you ordered your dress yet?” then it could be that Suzie was either 1. busy when she first read the text and forgot she didn’t reply (my usual problem), 2. annoyed that you’re checking in, she knows the day to order the dresses, ordered it weeks ago, and doesn’t appreciate being micromanaged, 3. waiting to respond until she has ordered the dress, which she’s doing as we speak, or 4. embarrassed, she didn’t order it, doesn’t plan to for any number of reasons, and doesn’t have the courage to tell you.  Your post didn’t say how many texts you’ve sent over how much time but I wouldn’t stress too much yet, unless you’ve written her 10 texts in the last week and she hasn’t responded to any.

    Or she could’ve really pulled a me and turned her phone to silent a week ago in a movie theater and forgot to turn it back.  My mom was mad…

    Post # 14
    6692 posts
    Bee Keeper

    hill42:  If you’ve told her the deadline for ordering, and you are positive she got your  messages, nothing at all.   At this point, either she orders the dress on time or she doesn’t. Ball is in her court, you don’t need to track her down any further. 

    What is the worst that will happen? FI will have 6 guys and you will have 5 BMs and one gift to return? 

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