(Closed) Bridesmaid Obligations?

posted 10 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

Dude – go with the one who’s already offering to help you with wedding-related stuff even though she’s not part of the party (yet). She could always turn you down and prefer to just help out unofficially, but she sounds *much* more likely to hold your wedding dress over your head when you’ve got to pee halfway through the reception, ya know? 😉

Post # 4
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2008

you clearly have no reason to ask the in-law.  so don’t.  as for the friend, you certainly aren’t obligated to ask her just because she took you to a bridal show.  but you seem like to want to – right?  so go for it.  it sounds like you know what you want.

Post # 5
Member
78 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

In my head, in-laws don’t carry the same weight as actual siblings of the people getting married. After all, you didn’t get to sign off on who a sibling marries, so you don’t even have to like her.

A friend who will help you plan is invaluable. Worth her weight in gold. To be followed around by an angelic chorus tossing rose petals.

Post # 6
Member
96 posts
Worker bee

I would say give your friend from HS a chance and ask her — your friendship is obviously pretty deeply rooted despite the falling out, and seems to be growing as well.  Having her involved could further establish that pattern.  Maybe also a little for "old time’s sake," you know what I mean?  Especially since you were her MOH, and she has been exhibiting a very helpful attitude already!

As for the other girl, based on your post, I’d say your gut is already saying "no."  And I would fully support that!  I would rather have drama b/c someone didn’t get asked, than drama b/c they did get asked and end up being a horrible bridesmaid and giving you undue stress.  On your wedding day, you should be surrounded by those friends to whom you are the closest, and to whom standing up there with you will mean just as much to them as it means for you to have them. 

Post # 7
Member
1458 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2008

FH’s SIL – no way thats like one to may steps away…bvesides it doens’t sound like you like her a whole lot. Save the drama and skip it.

Your friend, make her your PA – I mean she seems together enough to do it and be great at it! 

 

Post # 8
Member
13 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2009

I don’t think that you owe your FH SIL anything….I mean if you barely talk, and it sounds as though you two aren’t exactly the best of friends….I think the choice is somewhat obvious. I understand that you don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, but the people you choose to be in the wedding party should be people you are completely comfortable with, know and love. I think you will be much happier if you pick your friend for HS, your friendship has deep roots – and that shouldn’t be traded for someone you don’t even think is a very nice person.

Post # 9
Member
245 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

i agree that you should ask your friend from high school. besides the fact you seem to like her more, she’s married & knows her way around weddings. noone close to me has that experience- i would have LOVED for any of my close friends/ siblings/ anyone to have previous wedding experience (besides the parents who were married in the 60s & 70s). she is a lucky find.

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