(Closed) Bridesmaid on drugs

posted 5 years ago in Parties
Post # 3
Member
138 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

Perhaps you can have an honest conversation with her. maybe offer her a different special part of your wedding but one that won’t hurt your plans too much if she can’t attend.

Post # 5
Member
7312 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

This is one of the few times I’d advocate for forcing a maid to step down. Honestly, I’m pretty vicious about that because for me, associating with someone who does that would put my career and my husband’s career in jeopardy. I’d tell her that she is not welcome in the bridal party or even at the wedding unless she gets 100% clean. Period. I’d say it nicely, obviously, and tell her that I’m willing to do what I can as a friend to help her get and stay clean. But I’d make it clear that I do not approve of her current behavior, that I think she needs to quit, and that I will not be a party to her bad lifestyle choices. 

Post # 6
Member
1177 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

Addicts who are insulated from the consequences of their choices by those around them have much less reason to get clean. If her behaviour on drugs makes her unfit to stand with you as a bridesmaid, you should ask her to step down. 

Post # 7
Member
23 posts
Newbee

Agreed, Geekspice. You will do her no favors by avoiding the issue. You may actually help her reach her bottom by asking her to step down, and being very honest about why. 

Post # 9
Member
1748 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

I know this person is your friend, regardless of her behavior, but not only would I tell her that I’d like her to step down as a BM, but I’d also stay away from her. She’s doing a lot of illegal stuff and I wouldn’t want to be around that.

Sorry, girl. Good luck.

Post # 10
Member
4436 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I lost a bunch of friends to coke- some died, others just went way downhill. Drugs totally changed them- permanently. It was really sad to see happen, but I couldn’t do anything about it. I hope your friend will turn things around and get out of the drug scene, but you also have to think about yourself and the negative effect her drug use can have on you. Sorry you have to go through this:(

Post # 11
Member
1347 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@smetivier26:  I don’t think this is about her being a BM or not a BM. She needs some serious help.

I think you need to focus more of figuring out ways to get her into a program and less about how to kick her out of your wedding.

Post # 13
Member
1589 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

I would look into getting her help. But if you can’t, or she resists, and you just don’t have the energy for it anymore, that doesn’t make you a bad person. 

Regardless, if she continues to use these drugs, you have to cut her out of your life. It’s only going to bring you down. 

(I know from experience, and other people who know from experience). 

Post # 14
Member
1347 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@smetivier26:  That’s how your question came off to me as, and I responded.

The topic ‘Bridesmaid on drugs’ is closed to new replies.

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