(Closed) Bridesmaid or Maid of Honor? Please help.

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
570 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

Honestly, it’s expensive to be in a wedding no matter what your title is. Tell your friend that you’d love for her to be a part of your special day and that you’d like her to do a reading or something. The rest of the bridesmaids could grow to resent her for not being able to financially contribute while they pick up the slack, and she’ll feel guilty/embarrassed/etc for needing others to cover her share of everything.

Post # 4
Member
5479 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I’d wait about another year before officially selecting any bridal party.  You’ll see which friends are there for you and which ones flake out… because unfortunately people & friendships change and weddings tend to bring out the worst in people.

Do a quick search of all the other posts about how a bride wishes she hadn’t chosen a particular person.  Save the drama & wait to choose!

Post # 5
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I see no reason not to have her in your wedding. If your sister gets bothered by this girl sharing her title and has no compassion for her situation then your sister isn’t very nice. I would ask this girl how comfortable she is agreeing to be in your wedding at her current situation. Outline what would be expected of her, and find out what she would be able to do and what she couldn’t. You could split up the responsibilities based on who is in the better circumstances to handle those.

Post # 6
Member
2781 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Just saw how far out your wedding date is, I agree with DaneLadyWait to decide for at least a year, many brides don’t select until the same time save the dates go out, you’ll have a better grasp of all your options and how supportive they are in a year. Also, a lot can change in a year and this girl you’re worried about her circumstances preventing her from being able to perform the role, those circumstances may change and no longer be an issue. Wouldn’t you hate to leave her out of your wedding only to find out a year from now she is fully capable of the responsibilities? Just as you would hate to ask her only to have the situations create even more distance and regret asking her. Just tell people when they ask that aside from your sister you haven’t decided since its still so far away.

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