Post # 1
I did the unthinkable and there is no sugar coating it. I kicked her nagative, unsupportive ass out of my wedding party.
Now, she has asked for full payment for the dress, which I am not against. There has been an issue with meeting up to give her the payment. I really want this to go away and be done with. I plan on mailing her a check tomorrow. My shower was this past weekend. She gave a gift, but it was bought by her mom to give to us.
I’m afraid that she may keep the dress and try to sell it, so taking the refund and then trying to sell it for more money.
WWYD? Do I send back the gift, and just say screw the dress? She’s pretty desperate for money these days……
Post # 3
Where is the dress now? Does she have it, or has it not yet arrived?
Post # 4
- Wedding: January 2010 - Mr. P's GrandparentsÃ¢Â€Â™ Ranch
I am wondering the same thing too, where is the dress at this moment?
Post # 5
Depending on where the dress is, I would tell her to pick the money or the dress. But that’s just me.
Post # 6
Why don’t you buy the dress from her?
Post # 7
Was there a deposit involved in the dress? If there was, I would pay her the remainder but not the deposit.
Post # 8
Meet up w/ her and exchange the check for the dress in person, or have a friend or your FI do it…
Post # 9
She has the dress, has paid for it and it is in her possession.
Would you send the bridal shower gift back too?
Post # 10
i would meet her up to do an exchange
Post # 11
If things ended that poorly and I wasn’t planning on remaining friends with her, I’d tell her “sorry you purchased the dress and it is your actions that has caused you to be kicked out of this bridal party and I will not pay you for it”.
She’s negative and unsupportive….are you going to remain her friend? Or not? If you want to mend a friendship and think it’s worth your money, that’s one thing. If you’re just too pissed, then screw her.
I’d also return the gift. I’d leave it on her doorstep actually, with a note….
When I end things with people, I END things. Just depends on what you think/want/are willing to salvage.
Post # 12
See if you can meet up with her and pay for the dress, but make her give it to you. That way you get the dress and she can’t use it to get a double recovery.
Whether you take the gift back is sort of separate, I think. She might take that as a further insult.
Worse comes to worse, mabe you could get your FI to do the actual exchange?
Post # 13
Why give her a free dress for being an unsupportive friend? If you give her money, you should expect to get the dress from her. If she wants to keep the dress, then I don’t think you owe her anything.
Moving forward… If (when!) you get the dress, you could re-sell it, or even use the fabric for matching custom details in your decor! (sashes, headbands, ring bearer pillow, etc.)
Sorry you’re having to deal with this. Good luck!
Post # 14
I agree with the other ladies. If you are paying her then you should receive the dress in return.
If you have no use for the dress you can always donate it to charity or resell it.
As far as the gift, depending what kind of friendship is salvagable determines if I would return it or not