(Closed) Bridesmaid paying for dress

posted 6 years ago in Bridesmaids
  • poll: Bridesmaid to pay
    Yes : (85 votes)
    61 %
    No : (13 votes)
    9 %
    Dress only : (34 votes)
    24 %
    Accessories but not dress : (7 votes)
    5 %
  • Post # 3
    5093 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: January 2012

    @Amndy:  From what I understand, it’s a cultural difference between the UK and the US.  In the US, it’s traditional for the maids to buy their own dresses.  In the UK, the bride pays for everything.  Perhaps that’s where your confusion comes from.

    Post # 4
    16216 posts
    Honey Beekeeper

    Yeah, I was going to cite the cultural thing, too. For my own wedding as well as all of the wedding I’ve been a bridesmaid in, the bridesmaids paid for their own dresses. I did buy my girls their jewelry.

    Post # 5
    9917 posts
    Buzzing Beekeeper
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I wonder where the difference stems from.  Like, when brides began having bridesmaids in each country, why did one group decide to buy their girls’ dresses and the other group decide to have their girls buy their own?

    Post # 6
    4 posts

    What an awesome sociology type question!

    I’ve never questioned or pondered it until now. I was a bridesmaid before I was married and after. The first time I bought my own dress, and the second time the bride’s friend made the dresses but we paid for the materials needed to make them. It’s just one of those things that everyone assumes, I guess. Nobody I know has ever paid for their bridesmaids’ dresses. 

    Now, my photography business puts me at weddings just about every weekend during the summer, so I’m totally going to ask people about this and whether or not they even thought about it all. 

    Post # 7
    3452 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    Any wedding I’ve been in, I’ve paid for my own dress. 

    Post # 8
    2699 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: June 2012

    I’m north east england! I’ve also bought everything for my BM’s but it’s expensive and to be honest I wish i’d spread the cost a bit!

    Post # 9
    3697 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    My opinion: whatever works between you and your friends.  If you can afford it and want to buy it for her, do it.  If she can afford it and is willing to buy it, let her.  But have that talk before you go shopping.  🙂

    What I did: I bought her the dress and shoes and told her she could get her hair/makeup done or not, and to figure out a necklace.  She ended up adding makeup to hair the day before, and borrowing my Grandma’s necklace.  I gifted her a handbag (that she used) and a thong (that she refused to wear, which kind of irked me).  She’s my SIL – for her wedding my mom made my dress, I wore my own shoes and did my own hair and makeup.  She was young and (more) selfish and didn’t even offer to make me an appointment for my hair or anything.

    Post # 10
    4194 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry

    I’m having two MOHs- they paid for the dress, which we all decided on. I was open to them wearing black shoes, but the ended up with a reasonably priced pair in one of the wedding colors (orange.) They’re wearing whatever jewelry they want, and I’m paying for hair & makeup day of.

    Post # 11
    11172 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper

    As a multiple time Bridesmaid or Best Man I have always had to buy my dress. In some circumstances I was provided (as my Bridesmaid or Best Man gift) jewelry to wear to the wedding and sometimes I was asked to bring something I owed but met certain criteria (pearls for example).

    For my Bridesmaid or Best Man they bought their dress and shoes and I purchased their earrings (had them made by an amazing fellow Bee!). The earrings weren’t their Bridesmaid or Best Man gift, that was in addition and I also paid for their hair and makeup so it wasn’t like I cheaped out by any means.

     I think the important thing is to communicate and figure out a budget if you are having your Bridesmaid or Best Man pay. I told them the dress was not going to cost any more than $200 and I kept that promise (which is totally reasonable for Bridesmaid or Best Man dress costs). I couldn’t imagine having to purchase a $600 Bridesmaid or Best Man dress!

    Post # 12
    2856 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    We bought our girls their dresses as well as the men’s ties and shirts, but it’s because we’re having a sort-of destination wedding. It’s still in-province, but everyone will be traveling to it and staying at the resort. We thought if we were obligating these people to be in our bridal party, we’d cut them some slack and buy their outfits. They will be paying for at least one night’s stay at the resort as well as however they choose to get there. We are not providing hair or makeup though (we’re all doing our own), and I told them I don’t care what shoes they wear. They’ll all be wearing the same necklaces though as we bought them a string of real pearls each as their Bridesmaid or Best Man gift.

    If we were getting married in town, and nobody was traveling, I think it would have been a different story. We’d likely have gotten them to buy their own dresses, but would have paid for hair and makeup. It really depends on the situation and who is in your party, I think.

    Post # 13
    664 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: December 2012

    I think I answered this question wrong…

    I bought my bridesmaid dresses b/c the dresses I picked were $320 each, which I felt was too much for them to spend.  This is their gift.  If they want their hair/make up done they will have to pay for it (I am fine if they do their own though).  I will give them guidelines for shoes/jewerly but they can wear what they want or already have.

    Post # 14
    174 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    I’m Irish and I would never have expected my BMs to buy their dresses, that is just not done here (despite the face two of my BMs are American) but they are going to pay for anything else (though I have not asked them to purchase anything else, they can wear whatever hairstyles, accessories, shoes (to a certain extent) that they want! 

    Post # 15
    395 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    @almostmrsj:  By thong, do you mean undies or shoes? I thought it was really weird you would be irked ’cause she didn’t wear the underpants lol! But then I realized you might be talking about shoes?

    Post # 16
    395 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: December 1969

    Every wedding I’ve been in, bride bought everything, and paid for hair and makeup. I did the same for my Maid/Matron of Honor (no BMs).

    The topic ‘Bridesmaid paying for dress’ is closed to new replies.

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