Bridesmaid Plus 1 Drama-Need Help!

posted 3 years ago in Etiquette
  • poll: Do I invite new boyfriend
    Suck it up and invite the new boyfriend : (64 votes)
    91 %
    Don't invite new boyfriend. If I don't please leave advice on how to phrase it : (6 votes)
    9 %
    Other, explain below : (0 votes)
  • Post # 3
    Member
    4760 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: November 1999

    give your BP +1 for gods sake.  You’re being rude if you don’t.

    Post # 4
    Member
    121 posts
    Blushing bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I know the feeling that you don’t necessarily want everyone’s “flavour of the month” boyfriend or girlfriend to be at you wedding, but since she is a BM and she has to travel – I really think you need to let her bring a date.

    Post # 5
    Member
    409 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: June 2014

    I am giving all people in the wedding party a +1 even if they just want to bring a friend because being in a wedding party is a lot of work. Even if you’ve never met him and he might not last more than a few months I would still invite him because she is traveling from out of state. Traveling alone to a wedding probably sucks regardless of whether you’re single or in a relationship, so I would want my friend (who I love) to have company.

    Sure the BP is busy in the morning getting ready and busy after the ceremony with pictures, but you will not be with them the whole night (because there’s a bazillion other people you need to talk to) so it’s nice to let them have someone to hang out with.

    Post # 6
    Member
    5460 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: August 2012

    It’s courteous to extend a “+1” to all wedding party members, as well as any adults who need to travel to be there.  So yes, on both counts, she should be able to bring someone.

    Post # 7
    Member
    42546 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I would give her the plus one. Your bridal party are doing a lot for you and your wedding. The fact that you haven’t met him will make little or no difference to you at the wedding. You will be too busy having fun with the people you do know.

    Post # 8
    Member
    789 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    I have found as it gets closer that I care less and less about +1s and numbers and stuff. You are going to be fine either way, just let your BM bring someone if she wants to. I have also found that way less people brought +1s then I expected, so the random additions are completely fine.

    Post # 9
    Member
    2642 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2012

    @DaneLady:  <— This

    If it were any other guest, I would say you don’t have to invite the new BF since they started dating after the invites when out.  BUT since she’s your BM AND she has to travel out of state, you need to let her bring her new BF.  She’s doing you a huge favor by standing up for you and supporting you on your big day – the least you can do is let her bring a date.


    Post # 10
    Member
    1634 posts
    Bumble bee

    I’d let her bring whoever she’d like. I would feel a little put off if someone asked me to be a bridesmaid but I wasn’t allowed to bring a date. It’s the nice thing to do

    ETA – waallow elbowed to bring a date *just because the bride hadn’t met him yet*

    Post # 11
    Member
    10748 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Bridal party especially should always get a +1. 

    Post # 12
    Hostess
    7630 posts
    Bumble Beekeeper
    • Wedding: January 2013

    I think it’s important for BP member to have dates. Invite him. 

    Post # 13
    Member
    11300 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    @peonies2:  This.

    We did not invite a few people’s +1s for this reason, but almost everyone in the BP got one (then again, those who did are all married). One of the two who did not is only 16, and the other is single and flying in from out of town and didn’t want to bring some rando to our wedding–not sure what kind of non-partner person would want to pay to fly to another state for a stranger’s wedding anyway.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3735 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: September 2014

    @VtoM:  Give her the plus one.

    Post # 15
    Member
    3693 posts
    Sugar bee
    • Wedding: August 2013

    She’s bridal party and she’s traveling from out of state. Give her a plus one.

    Post # 16
    Member
    1244 posts
    Bumble bee
    • Wedding: August 2015

    Well, she’s in a relationship so why would you treat that any differently than everyone else who is in a relationship that you allowed to have a +1? It’s not your place to try and determine whether her relationship is valid enough to deserve a +1, plus she is your bridesmaid, plus she is coming from out of the area. Yes you need to extend her the courtesy of the +1.

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