Post # 1
I was asked to be a bridesmaid by one of my BFF’s. Her wedding is over a year away.
My DH and I are currently trying to have a baby (and keeping it quiet).
My question is – am I obliged to let this friend know that I may be pregnant/have a newborn? I mean, who knows what will/won’t happen in a years time, so I haven’t said anything to her, but it’s been on my mind lately.
Post # 3
Eh, I don’t think you need to say anything right now. Of course, if you do get preggers I imagine you’ll tell her. It might also be something to mention when you start looking at BM dresses if you are still trying at that time. That way you can try and find a dress that will work if you are pregnant.
Post # 4
I think its best not to say anything. TTC is usually a very private process, so you should consider how you would feel about her knowing and possibly asking for status updates etc. Besides, even if you do get pregnant before the wedding, it probably won’t much effect other than making sure your dress fits.
Post # 5
I don’t think you are obliged to tell her, but I was actually in the exact same situation, except I was the bride in it. One of my bridesmaids (a family member) did privately let me know when we began looking at dresses that they were think about trying for another baby soon.
It was helpful to know in advance I suppose because it is important to me for my bridesmaid to be comfortable, happy and have anything they need for the reception (i.e. if she might need a seat at ceremony if she’s far enough along etc…), but I was also surprised she had told me about it and felt that it hadn’t really been necessary for her to let me know.
I think whether you tell her or not really depends on your specific situation. I’m aware of how complicated TTC can be and would never have asked her for updates if they were pregnant or not and also kept my word to her about not letting anyone else know, but I also know that I have some friends that if I were to tell them something like this would be too excited and tell someone else or keep asking me about it.
I hope this helped a little bit!
Post # 6
Yeah, don’t worry about telling her until when and if it happens. Accepting a role as a bridesmaid doesn’t mean you owe the bride any insider information on your reproductive plans.
Post # 7
Being the Bride who has a brides maid who is TTC, she and i are extremley close and I have had an idea that her are her hubby would be wanting to start soon so I was THRILLED when she told me they were! She is my MOH and my wedding is in May 2013 we know we dont want to jynx her at all and are having all our toes and fingers crossed cause if it does happen before Nov. she will be 8 months along at the wedding!! I am really glad she did tell me and I have not been nosy at all its just been grea to know so when I am looking for BM dresses we have looked at maternity as a back up and alterations to the gowns we do like that can accomidate her if she does. So i think if your really not sure close I would wait to tel her privatley that you want this to remain between the two of you when the time to go dress shopping arises (and not at the apt like i found out lol but i was so excited that i just burst out squeeling and hugged her hard) so the bride can keep that thought in the back of her mind as a plan B option! Just some advice from the brides point of view, and CONGRATS!!! Fingers and prayers that TTC goes really smoothly for you and you have a healthy happy baby!!
Post # 8
Wow i am bad at math today (TGIF) she’d be 6 months along if by Nov.