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Since she's family, I can understand why you're hesitant about the situation. Since you have a bit of time, I'd try simply not sharing wedding details with her for a month or two and approach her at a later date. It may be she's going through some sort of emotional issue that you're unaware of or that she's worried about being laid off with the current economy and is hesitant to commit the money.
Perhaps if you give her a bit of time and space she'll come around and take an interest. Good luck!
Even though you asked her to be a part of your bridal party, she really isn't obligated to travel (a long distance) for things like dress shopping. One of my bridesmaids couldn't travel to go dress shopping with the rest of the girls and I told her not to worry about it, save her money for the important stuff (like the wedding and/or bridal shower if she could do both). Since the wedding is so far away, she probably doesn't think the things you are talking about are that 'real' or important yet. Remember, no one cares about your wedding as much as you do.
I would say that since you have two years before your wedding, people might get irritated about the wedding talk for two years. I would create a blog about the wedding details and let everyone know how to keep updated, that way she can see it when she wants to.
As for her being a bridesmaid, let her decide at a later time. Keep moving forward and when she brings up your wedding you can discuss it then. I have 3 BM's who are out of state I just emailed everyone about dresses and let them decide. Plus, I do the blog thing and they can post or let me know they read it and their opinions.
Thanks this is all really helpful... mcnetn3: haha, yea i know that no one cares as much as I do, i guess it just hurts that She only gave me a months notice and it was right at Christmas time to get a dress (she had a shotgun wedding) and throw her a bridal shower, basically bent over backwards, and Im trying to be nice and give her a years notcie that we would be looking at dresses, especially cause she is family. I dont expect her, or anyone to come up..if they couldnt make it for what ever reason..i totally understand..i can have them go look where they live, but she was the one that created the idea of everyone coming up (especially since she doesnt know the other bridesmaids except her sister) and said she would..but I think I'll just let it go for now..give her time..and see what happens...but thanks again for all the help ladies!!
Agree with PP that the timing is likely why she's not very resposive now. It's hard to be an OOT bridemaid because there is quite a bit of expense involved. You see it as "i'm giving her a year to prepare for the trying on." she sees it as, "now i have to pay for another trip on top of the showers, and parties, and the actual wedding!!" you have a lot of decisions to make in the next 2 years planning; I'd be sure to keep most discussions/questions to your mom, as you girls WILL get tired of hearing about your special day. You want them to be excited too, so keep them in suspense for a while.
oh thats a really good idea about the blog, i dont really bring it up much..i usually wait for my girls to ask me how its going cause they know i just started it all..but i'll give her sometime.. The only one i really keep included is my MOH..shes like a sister to me. But thanks everyone!
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I am having a problem with one of my bridesmaids and Im not to sure what to do...My wedding is a little over two years away, but we have already started the planning. I do not expect my bridesmaids to help with the planning ( I am enjoying doing it with just my mom and I) but i do like to fill everyone in here and there as we go along with the planning..it seems every time I say something to my one bridesmaid, she ALWAYS has to switch the convo over to talking about herself and almost avoids talking about my wedding..The other day I told her that next summer, I would love to have everyone come up to try on dresses, this way i can get everyones opinion..she told me ..a year in advanced that shes not sure she will be able to afford it...My fiance thinks I should kick her out..but the problem is..shes my cousin! Im not sure what to do..and it really hurts especially when i bent over backwards to help her with her wedding...Help??