Post # 1
I honestly never thought I’d be the bride with Bridesmaid or Best Man drama. My Maid/Matron of Honor is my sister who is my best friend and AMAZING. and my Bridesmaid or Best Man is my best friend of nine years. Then my fi’s sister.
Well in my other post about my Bridesmaid or Best Man being “cheap”, it continues and has gotten worse. She didn’t want to pay for the salon hair appt even though it was very reasonable, and I had to talk her into buying the shoes.
Now just two days before my bachelorette party she texts me and says that she can’t afford going to dinner for my party, she’ll meet up afterwards. She’s known about my wedding for NINE months, and goes shopping every week. I was really hurt and upset that my bridesmaid wouldn’t be at my party.
So I told her I felt it was really inconsiderate. And that launched into this huge fight, and I told her I’ve felt very hurt by her lack of involvement with my wedding and that I feel she doesn’t care about me as much as thought she did before I got engaged. I told her I had wanted to say something before but didn’t wanna cause any problems, but it came up and all I wanted was her to know I was hurt and wanted to know she was sorry.
Well of course she started defending herself and then lashing out at me, then saying I’ve been the awful friend and have never been there for her and treated her like “trash”. ugh I wish you knew all the history, it’s long, but let’s just say I’ve been her friend for nine years, and she’s never been able to keep a friend for more than a year because of her personality. I’m laid back and ho-hum most of the time and put up with it. but I’m tired of feeling taken for granted, but then she says I’m the one treating her badly!
It is five days until my wedding and I cried my eyes out for hours today, and my boss even sent me home early from work because I was such a wreck.
I thought we were close enough that I could confront her and tell her how I felt and now our friendship is hanging by a small thread.
I feel awful and hurt. This is supposed to be the happiest week of my life and it’s turning into hell.
Post # 3
I’ll say just stay focus on your upcoming Marriage and after the wedding talk to her. Try however hard it is to do to be nice to her till after the wedding. I am sorry this is happening to you now but this too shall pass.As long as she shows up at the wedding I wont worry about anything else.
Post # 4
I don’t think this is something you should be crying over with 5 days left. Go on with your life and your wedding. Let her be a part of whatever she wants to be a part of. If you want to address things after the wedding fine, but don’t deal with added stress right now.
Post # 5
If she is still in the wedding party, maybe make sure she’s at the edges of the photos. It will be easier to photoshop her out if you want to later. Don’t stress about her, think about who it is you are getting married to and why
Post # 6
That is really sad and selfish and inconsiderate of her. I’m sorry to hear you’re going through that right now. Just remember how joyous an occasion your wedding is and try to forget about her. Unfortunately, you can’t make people care about you the way you care about them. Keep your chin up!
Post # 7
That’s awful that you have to go through this just days before your wedding! I do agree with the others though, as hard as it’s going to be, this is not something you want to be crying/seriously stressed over when it is this close to your big day! If you want to talk to her about this after the wedding then I would wait until then.
Post # 8
I’m sorry!! Is she married? It sounds like she is not grasping the effect of her behavior or the importance of the wedding! Especially if she out shopping when she knows these events are approaching!
I have a friend who puled things like this with me but not over a wedding. We would book a vacation and my parents would pay for her part and let her pay them back because they knew she was working while in school. Most of the time they would only make her pay half the cost of the trip. One year she told me a month before the trip- which was non refundable- that she did not want to go because she wanted to get a new car. So she skipped the trip and instead she used the money that she was suppose to pay my parents back with to buy herself a car! Needless to say everything went downhill from there and I have not spoken to her since.
I could not imagine dealing with this during wedding festivities but you should just ignore it as best you can and be selfish! Yes selfish because this is your time to really celebrate the beginning of your new life and the love you and your future husband have for each other. Hopefully she will be more understanding but it sounds like you are not going to get any where arguing if she is on the defense. Plus that just makes for an exhausted you. Best of luck with the rest of the week. Do you best to focus on the positive.
Hopefully after the wedding you can sit down with her and tell her what it was that upset you and you guys can work things out. At that point she knows you wont be expecting anything from her so maybe her defense will be diminished a bit.
Post # 9
What is your friend’s financial situation? Has she been a Bridesmaid or Best Man before? It’s not an excuse, but maybe it could help explain her actions.
A lot of people don’t realize the financial commitment that this can be. While I was in law school, I had to work for a semester to pay for all the wedding-related events for my friend’s wedding. It was the first wedding I was in, and I had no idea how expensive it would be. I’m just thinking there has to be a reason that she doesn’t want to go to the dinner… unless you think she is doing it to be spiteful or something.
In any case, don’t worry about it. If I were you I would try my best to put it out of my head, and concentrate on getting married! Don’t lose sight of how exciting that is! You can figure out if she is worth being friends with later.