(Closed) Bridesmaid problems

posted 7 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2714 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Find a cheaper dress? Help them pay for a portion of it?

Haha, those are the first 2 ideas that came to mind….

Post # 4
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

You can give them the option to either drop out or you can offer to pay for all or part of their dresses. Either of these options, I would do privately with each girl.

Post # 5
Member
1684 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

Pay for it yourself. You asked them to be a bridesmaid, and you asked them to pay for a specific dress. Or else relax the “rules” a bit and let them choose a dress within their budget and within reason (aka length, colour). Or find a cheaper dress.

For myself, I know I want my bm’s to be there for me on the day, and I refuse to let something as petty as a too-expensive dress stand in the way of that.

Post # 6
Member
10288 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Well, it depends on the situation. Did you discuss dress budgets with your bridesmaids before deciding on the dress or did you just choose the one you wanted without questioning their personal finances?

For me personally, if I had a bridesmaid that couldn’t pay for her dress (which I’m pretty sure I’m going to), I will see what she can afford to pay and I’ll cover the difference. I know this isn’t an option for everyone so if you dont have any room in your budget to help her, you’ll have to either make her come up with the money (i.e. see if she can borrow from someone) or ask her to step down as a bridesmaid. 

Post # 7
Member
971 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2008

I’d find something that fits everyone’s budget!

Did you ask them if there was a price range they needed to stick within?  Did you talk to them about cost of the dresses at all?  Or did you show them the dress and tell them the cost?  

I think it’s up the bride to know what her bridesmaids can afford and find a dress in their price range. 

Post # 8
Member
57 posts
Worker bee

maybe find something everyone can afford.  or if you don’t care about all the dresses being exactly alike, give her an option of a less expensive dress.  i’m not sure if i would feel ok helping to pay for it if the other BMs are paying for theirs w/o any assistance.  but i guess that would all depend on the situation. 

Post # 9
Member
4137 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

you don’t have to get a “bridesmaid” dress. look at places like macys or modcloth — they have plenty of dresses for less than $50.

Post # 10
Member
686 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I had this problem, one of my 5 girls came to me and expained that she could not afford the dress (it was $100).   I offered to split the cost with her and she thought that was great, we ended up going that day to get it for her.  I would offer to help if you can afford to, BUT be careful that they don’t start taking advantage of you later (I also had this problem with another girl)

Post # 11
Member
9057 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

I’d probably just pay for it for her.

Post # 12
Member
1068 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2011

This is a tricky situation! When someone is asked to be a BMs, they accept with the understanding that they will pay the expenses. Also, you should know what is reasonable to ask. Did you mention how much the dress is?

You can also compromise – and allow BMs to choose their own dresses, so that they can spend what they feel comfortable. So you have a neutral color (like black) and have them pick their own dresses. 

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