(Closed) bridesmaid problems – obligations?

posted 8 years ago in Waiting
Post # 3
Member
135 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

You should always put your sisters in your wedding, period. You really can never go wrong by having your sister in the wedding..

Post # 4
Member
368 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2010

I would include your sisters as well, because to me it’s like a rite of passage kind of thing. Unless you are not on good terms with them, I think it would mean a lot to both them and your parents.

Post # 5
Member
226 posts
Helper bee

I dont have sisters.. so I’m not the best person to ask… but I would feel pressuresd to include bfs sister in my wedding… although I dont feel as pressured to include my brother in the wedding 🙂 Good luck

Post # 6
Member
52 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

FH and I have four sibs between the two of us and none of them are in the wedding. I think you’re only obligated to have them inasmuch as it would cause problems to not have them.

Post # 7
Member
206 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Fi and i have one brother apiece, which are both married.  Our brothers and our sister-in-laws are all in our wedding.  Our family is VERY important to us!  We as well have LARGE wedding parties as well though.  I guess it’s just a preference though.  But, remember it’s your wedding and it should be what YOU and your FI want…

Post # 8
Member
532 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: July 2010

Your sisters are your family and they will always be a part of your life. Friends come and go, but family always remains a part of you.

Post # 9
Member
47 posts
Newbee

I think it depends on your relationship with your sisters and their personalities. For example, my brother and I are not very close, because of age (he’s older than me) and distance, and he’s pretty laid-back, so I feel no pressure to have him in the wedding other than as a guest. But on the other hand, I’m pretty much obligated to include my FSIL because she’s the type to get very upset if I didn’t :S haha. I guess this doesn’t help you at all, other than to say that you’ll probably just have to decide whether or not it would affect your relationship with your sisters if you didn’t include them, or if they would understand your decision to only involve your best friends. Good luck!

Post # 10
Member
1932 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

I think sisters should always come before friends, except in some very rare circumstances. For me, I almost wish I would have JUST had my sister and my fi’s sisters. It really eliminates drama! You don’t think it’d be dramatic now…but that’s what I thought too… weddings do strange things to people and it’s really a stressful time. Choose your girls very wisely.

Post # 11
Member
502 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

My older sister is in the wedding. I hadn’t thought about asking her since she is in her late 30’s and I didn’t think she’d be interested in being a bridesmaid in her 23 year old sisters wedding. However, she agreed :). She has however been one of the more picky ones because she IS my sister, but I wouldn’t have it any other way now. lol

Post # 12
Member
3587 posts
Sugar bee

I agree with miss-spunkin- sisters come before friends. I’m biased though because I have my sister and it will ONLY be her in my wedding party.LOL

I think you should put them in the wedding. Sisters will always be with you, no matter what. Now, if y’all aren’t talking, it’s understandable, but it seems like there is a relationship there.

Post # 13
Member
2 posts
Wannabee
  • Wedding: August 2010

I don’t think you should feel obligated to have anyone in your wedding. It’s your wedding!

It sounds liek it would probably be rude to include one sister but not the other, but I’m sure that when the time comes they’ll understand the choices you have made for your own special day.

You can always ask them to help out in some other way, or let them get the chance to sit back and relax and enjoy the festivities!

Post # 14
Member
1932 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2008

@akkhima, hmmm I would have to disagree. I think that they’d be VERY hurt. Weddings mean a lot to people – if you include one sister and not the other, it’s a HUGE blow. I have a big family, and finding a place for them all in my wedding was hard, but it’s important to me, and to them. I was my sister’s MOH and she’s mine, but not out of obligation, but she’s my best friend.

I think when it comes to weddings there are very few people who understand that your choices are your choices, because for some reason everyone wants to make decisions for you.

Post # 15
Member
965 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

Personally, if my sister (who I am very close with) did not have me in her wedding, i’d be very hurt.

Post # 16
Member
411 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

I really think it depends on your relationship with your siblings. My sibs and I aren’t very close, and so we’re not having any family in the wedding. No one is hurt or offended – some are actually relieved!

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