Post # 1
I’ve been engaged since July 3rd.. just booked my venue last weekend for a Sept. 2012 wedding. Now here’s where the trouble comes in.
I assumed I shouldn’t ask my bridesmaids until a. I had the date down solid, and b. it was a little closer to the wedding (maybe a year?). I was planning on having 5 girls (maybe 6, but 99.9% chance it’s 5). 2 are my sisters.. no issues there. Two are friends from college and one is my little cousin [she’d be a Jr. Maid]. Now, a girl that BM1 and I both roomed with in college got engaged like 3 months after I did. She ended up asking the girl I’ve been planning to ask (BM1) to be one of HER maids about a week after she got engaged. She also told me her wedding was going to be MAYBE the week after mine, though I’m thinking it’s going to be a month after. She has nothing nailed down yet.. no date, nada. Do I still ask the same girl to be my BM? I have no problems asking her, I love her! She’s awesome and I’d be sad to be without her.. I’m just worried it would be too much for her to do in a short period of time (not including all the $ she’d have to spend on both weddings). I guess I could ask and could obviously understand if she said no. Any advice?
And – anyone know a cute way to ask a Junior Bridesmaid? My little cousin is 10 and I have no clue what to do to ask her!
Post # 3
i say go ahead and ask, but phrase it so that she has an out of she needs it…ie “i know you are going to be in another wedding in a short period of time, so i understand if it is too much of a financial strain, but i’d love you to be in the wedding party if possible”
Post # 4
I think you should still ask her. Let her make the decision about whether it would be too much.
Post # 5
I would probably wait until closer to your date. Most of my relationships have really changed in a year, and you don’t want to risk having BM drama :(. When you’re ready, I think you’re fine to ask the BM who’s already in a wedding. Tell her you’ll understand if she can’t do it, but she might be up for it.
Post # 6
I would still ask her and just assure her that you understand wherever she may stand on the being a part of both weddings.
You could also go from the stance like I did with one of my BM that really the only expectation is to do her part (whatever that may be) on getting her attire and showing up… One of my girls in in her last semester of Nursing so being there for everything just isn’t possible… but I love her and was willing to go this ^ route =)
As for the Jr. BM.. not sure, I didn’t to the how “invitation” sweet askings for my girls.. just kinda put it out there. lol
Post # 7
@ohkkrista: I think she’ll be thrilled to at least be asked. And as long as she knows that your feelings won’t be hurt if she declines, I think that you should ask her. Ms. Meowerson’s phrasing was very nice.
Post # 8
Thanks a lot for your input ladies! Definitely plan on asking her sometime in the future possibly using Ms. Meowerson’s exact wording 🙂