Weddingbee boards

I am getting married in 10 months and have not offically asked people to be in the wedding, specifically because I am worried I won't be friends with them forever.

My friend got married in May 2009 and I was a bridesmaid. She initially asked several people and ended up kicking them out before the wedding because she did not talk to them anymore. Now that I am getting, I have not seen this friend since her wedding and she could care less that I am getting married now.

Do I ask her to be a bridesmaid knowing that our friendship is basically over?

I just want to play Devil's Advocate for a bit here.  I was a BM in my best friend's wedding and I heard from her very sporadically after the wedding.  We live 10 hours apart so I didn't see her for about 7 months after the wedding.  It wasn't because we weren't friends anymore but because she was incredibly busy and wanted to devote a lot of time to her new marriage.  Maybe it's the same situation for your friend?  Deep down I know who my friends are going to be for the rest of my life and I knew she was one of them.  

That being said, I decided not to have one girl as my BM.  She and I were best friends, inseparable, from 7th grade until college.  We were still good friends in college but I've realized that in the 3 years since, she only calls when she's bored and needs someone to talk to in order to fill the time.  I think she is upset not to be a BM but she hasn't said anything.  I think it sealed it this Christmas when I made several efforts to see her but she would only text me back hours after I called her.  Maybe it was partly her being bitter about not being in the wedding but it really showed how good of a friend she is.  For all she knows, I may not have picked my BMs yet.  I was planning on having her as a greeter but I'm rethinking that idea now as well.

Thank you so much for the support. It is a tough situation. I work midnights and my days off are those that are different than everyone else. I try to stay in contact the best I can but sometimes it is extremely hard to do so and I feel if I don't put in the effort, she won't either. You would think this alone would be enough for me, but I feel bad.

What kills me in this situation is the fact that she went through this and I would think that she would be trying to avoid what happened to her. 

I pretty much agree with everyone's advice. I have dealt with this situation on both ends. When a friend I was formerly close with didn't ask me to be in her wedding, I really wasn't upset! I was actually glad she didn't feel obligated to ask me and that I didn't feel obligated to say yes! I went to her wedding and had a great time! So, I'm keeping that in mind when it comes to my bridesmaids. It's probably going to be strained on both ends if you're not close (I've also had one of those experiences!).