- 6 years ago
- Wedding: October 2012
I got a call from a BM that moved to Cali (we all live in NJ). She said she needed to have a serious talk with me about the wedding. She went on to say that she cannot afford to be in the wedding. It’s too expensive and she just has not been responsible with money. She still wants to come and be invited, but can’t be in the wedding.
I was shocked. This particular BM is the reason that my FH and I are even together. She set us up, was the first to belive in us, and has been here with us on our entire ‘journey’ together. I had asked her to be a BM in December of 2010. I asked her first because of the financial reasons. I asked the girls to follow two rules: don’t be prettier than me, and wear the color tealness – any dress, any length, and fabric. I don’t care about hair, or make-up or shoes or jewelry (honest, I really don’t give a crap what they wear). I know that BM dresses can be expensive, but part of the reason I gave so much freedom was to avoid the financial issues. I know that both of my MOH talked to her about not contributing to the shower/bachelorette party because of her flight.
I found out a few days ago that her high school reunion (where she was the vp of the sga and is helping to plan the event) is the night before the wedding at the same reception location….
After thinking it over I thought it was odd that she still wanted to be invited and attend, but not be part of the wedding. I haven’t spoken to her to confirm if she is going to the reunion…in part because if she is, I probably won’t ever speak to her again.
We are under 8 months until the wedding. I don’t know if I should replace her, leave things as they are (uneven BP members drives me nuts), or try to convince her to come back.
Have you ever been in this situation? What did you do? I’m so sad over all this.