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Oooh, I love a good BM Rant!
Well, the obvious response is to remind her about the schedule of events. Tell her you've given her plenty of notice ahead of time so she would be able to arrange her schedule. Also remind her that she doesn't HAVE to stay at the hotel on Friday, you just wanted to see who WANTS to.
Get your BM's together or send a group email again with the schedule. I've been preparing my girls for months too, as some have to fly in and some have kids. No one seems miffed at the plans and they all expect to spend the whole day and night before devoted to wedding events.
maybe she meant church for rehearsal? woo sahh...calm...
wait a couple of days and call her to talk after you've cooled a bit. she may not have realized all the stuff that is going on before the actual ceremony.
i had the hardest time with some of my BMs because they were unmarried and have never been BMs. one didnt understand why we were getting ready so early - like duh, pictures.
I really hate it when BMs don't plan ahead. I'm like, pretty lax about BMs. All I expect them to do is get their dresses, shoes, make their own travel arrangements and show up for the rehearsal/actual wedding day (and yes, that means spending the whole day with the wedding party!).
Luckily, as others have said, you have PLENTY of time to remind her of the schedule. Tell her that she knew going into this what the deal was, and if she be there, then give her an easy out (without asking her to leave, of course).
I mean like, bare minimum, you gotta be at the flippin' wedding!
I'll rant for you:
I have a BM who is the communications director for a Member of Congress who is up for re-election and she is taking the Friday before my wedding off - TWO WEEKS BEFORE THE ELECTION. How is it that your BM doesn't understand the obligations?! I am completely baffled by BMs like this - my sister's are all like this too! WTF?
I think to avoid future problems, you need to lay out your timeline asap. Share it with her so she knows whats expected of her. Tell her you need her from 3 pm on Friday afternoon until 3 am the night of the wedding or something like that.
My wedding is on a Friday at 7PM. All I'm asking is for them to be there like by 2PM on Friday. No one HAS to stay with me the night before at the hotel..it's just an option.
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Please excuse the rant, but I need to get it out.
I have decided that I need to get a hotel room for the night before. I would need somewhere to stay away from FI, duh! LOL But anyway, I texted one of my BMs and told her just like I plan on telling everyone. You know to see how many’d wanna stay with me. She texted back “Well, I think it’s a good idea. But I don’t think I can take off that Friday anyway, so I’ll meet you guys at the church.” You’ll DO WHAT! If you say you’re going to be in the wedding…you kind of are expected to do things like take off so you can be involved in the day, especially girls. At least part of the day!! How is she going to meet at the church and she gets off at 4 or 5!?? We’re having pictures (girls only and guys only) hours before the wedding. Isn’t that like common sense? She has just started this job maybe 2 months ago and doesn’t think she’ll have enough time by then, except for what she’s using for her sister’s graduation. You can’t ask these people now….it’s freakin' 8 months away! That’s plenty of heads up!! Plus, you knew this when I asked you…why didn’t you tell me that might be a problem then?
Please help me!