Bridesmaid/MOH Regrets!?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
328 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I had 4 people in mind to be my BM, my 3 friends and a FSIL (bro’s FI). I’m not particulary close to my FSIL but thought it would be nice to include her.

It may be a little weird, but 4 is considered to be an unlucky number in my culture and I thought 5 BMs was a little too much. So I was left with 3, and had to cut somebody out. I was going to go with 2 friends and FSIL but then one of my friends said that friend 3 would feel left out. That’s how I ended up with my three friends as BM. Later, after the wedding, my parents said that I should have asked FSIL to be a BM (more so in a technical sense because she’s going to be a part of the family, they don’t really like her… but that’s another story).

In hindsight, I should have said screw tradition and went with 4 BMs. 

Post # 3
Member
5199 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

simply.gould:  I don’t have a regret, so instead I’ll post my biggest NON regret.  I do NOT regret having only my sister as MOH and no other attendants.  I considered asking other friends and cousins but the group would have become big and unruly.  Especially since I had a DW and a shorter engagement (5 months). 

Having only my sister was so easy and stress free, kept costs low, and meant I didn’t have to pick any stupid dresses (she picked a dress herself from a normal store).

I guess I regret agonizing over the decision.  From the get-go I knew I wanted just my sister.  Following my gut was the right choice.

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  .
Post # 4
Member
2429 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

I regret asking my sister (who I am not close with at all). My mom cried and pressured me into it. She dyed her hair orange, which meant all of the photos with her in it had to be printed in black and white for my album. I have several friends who I would’ve rather had standing up with me.

Don’t feel pressured to include someone just because they are a sibling. 

Post # 5
Member
357 posts
Helper bee

simply.gould:  I regret asking this one girl. For a while, we talked everyday. But it was mostly about her drama. She constantly talks about how our other group of girls treated her badly. I got pissed and naturally took her side and stood up for her. They were the same people who ruined her bachelorette party.

Later on, she switched and “crawled” back to them, saying they are nice people, only to have them reject her and not inviting both of us to functions. She doesn’t have any girlfriends, while for me, I have my own circle of 6-7 girlfriends. 

Anyhow, I noticed she has that tendency to cause drama again. It was too late that I already asked her, so all I did was distance myself from her to keep the contact bare minimum. It helps that I don’t need my bridesmaids to do crafts or such. Just pick a dress and show up.

 

Post # 6
Member
171 posts
Blushing bee

I regret asking too soon ! I should of waited until at least a year before . I have two best friends that we are all three very close , it was hard to choose between them for MOH. I asked them both last year ( we still have over a year to go ). I chose one of the girls I had been friends with the longest for MOH and during this time she has gotten engaged also .

She picked her date 3 weeks before mine , so it was not going to work . We have talked and decided we will still be in each other’s weddings but not as MOH. Long story short now I have to ask the other friend to be my MOH ( and although she’s thrilled ) I still feel guilty . 

Post # 7
Member
124 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: January 2014

I avoided these kinds of regrets by not having any bridesmaids at all!

I only have one sister, and she was my Maid of Honor.

I have been in too many weddings where there was so much catty drama between the bridesmaids, that relationships were majorly damaged. I did not want that experience for my own wedding or any of my friends, so I just bucked tradition and did it my way. It was honestly so much easier.

Post # 8
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

I would have waited a little longer to ask. We are having a long engagement, and I was excited! Fortunately, so far so good with all my choices, but I realize that relationships do change.

Post # 9
Member
103 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

I would have not had a bridal party at all and just avoid the stress.  I have a MOH that thinks its her wedding.

Post # 10
Member
11740 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I regret one of my choices in my BMs.  I selected my SIL and she ended up being incredibly difficult, but oh well.  The rest of the BMs made up for it!

Post # 11
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

marie_antoinette:  Ditto! 

Not having any bridal party at all was easily our Top 5 best wedding decisions. I did not miss out on anything — our friends were there for us all the same, only without drama and credit card debt. If anything, our friendships in our married life have only gotten better.

I HIGHLY recommend no bridal party to any Bee’s out there wno haven’t “asked yet” and are entertaining the thought of scrapping the whole idea.

Post # 12
Member
1441 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

Agree with a few gals above…no bridal party for the win! All of my friends who will be at our wedding are special to me. They can wear flats or heels and do whatever with their hair and I have zero stress and neither do they!  Win-win. 

Post # 13
Member
88 posts
Worker bee

I was on the outs with one of my friends and my sister. I asked them both. I do not regret asking my sister, but she did continue to hurt my fifis after I asked her. My friend will also hopefully be a nonregret but time will tell. I asked my FSIL and I am so thrilled I did. Finally, I picked one girl I am not super close with but who I have tremendous respect for and was there for me in the interim that I was dating my Fiance. She also is super cool and low key. So far, no regrets. Lets hope it stays that way.

Post # 14
Member
721 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

I don’t regret choosing either of my bridesmaids or my MOH, because they were my only close girl friends and I was happy to have them. I guess my only regret (that I could literally have done nothing about) is that they never met before the wedding (all from far, far out of town) so there were some awkward rehearsal/rehearsal dinner/night before/getting ready moments. They are all incrediably different and opinionated, I wish I had felt like we were all on the same page. 

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 7 months ago by  anonybee0810.
Post # 15
Member
2261 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

My biggest regret is having a bridal party at all. I love all of them, they are wonderful people, but they are more work than help at this point.

Having to please so many girls is becoming impossible. If I could only go back to January before I asked, I would’ve done things much more differently

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