(Closed) Bridesmaid role

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
2006 posts
Buzzing bee

You do have a right to be upset, can’t help how we feel! I would try explaining to her how important it is to you that she attend these events. I would also maybe have the events a little earlier (rather than closer to your wedding date) to avoid the crazy-busy- rush to finish all the details-planning time.

If she still doesn’t want to attend/feels she will be too busy I would let it go. Focus on all the people will be there to celebrate with you!

Post # 4
Member
8354 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2011

I agree, you do have a right to be upset, but put yourself in her shoes. She will be busy with her own wedding, and at least she is giving you a heads up. I am sure she will be there if she can.

Post # 5
Member
28 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: May 2011

I would be upset too! And i’m sure it would hurt her feelings if you told her you couldn’t attend her shower/bachelorette party! It will be a busy time for both of you but i’m sure she will do her best to be there as you would for her!

Post # 6
Member
2462 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2010

do you live in the same place? most my bridesmaids are out of town, which is why i ask. i can understand being too busy to take a weekend away for the bachelorette party and shower (we’re having mine on the same weekend to make it easier for oot bms), but i would think she could take a couple hours for sure if you live nearby. also, your wedding is in 2011–so far away! maybe i’m naive, but i feel like with that much time to plan, the end crunch isn’t going to be so time consuming that you can’t make a couple hours for someone else’s celebrations…

Post # 7
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I mean I can see being a little upset at the fact that she can’t be there but at the same time, she does have a valid  reason.  Think about how much you’re going to be doing for your wedding in the weeks leading up to the wedding day.  Now add to that bridal showers and bachelorette parties for someone else.  It can be really stressful.  So yeah, I can see why your upset, but I personally wouldn’t say anything about it to her.

Post # 8
Member
1545 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

I say YES would she be upset at you if you didnt attend those events for her wedding? also that is kinda of a BM duty is to attend those parties. you arent asking her to throw you the shower but come on now on a friday or saturday evening she cant attend your bach party because she is planning that NIGHT? im sorry i love planning my wedding but i am not working on it 24/7 right now.

Post # 9
Member
1051 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: April 2010

Eh, I have 6 BMs and 2 won’t be able to make it to the shower and a 3rd can do the shower but can’t stick around for the b-party (I and 5 of the 6 are out-of-towners traveling for a 2-in-1 weekend).  I really just don’t care at all.  For those that can make it – awesome!  For those that can’t, see ya at the wedding!

I realize I have a much more casual approach to this.  I’ve asked literally nothing of the girls other than to order and pay for their own dress.  I dress-shopped alone, have planned alone, do all my DIY stuff alone.  I don’t really adhere to the traditional “role” of bridesmaids.  FI’s aunt is throwing my shower.  If they can get to the ceremony on time, that’s about all I need fro the bridesmaids. 

Post # 10
Member
831 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

Concurred on you have the right to be upset! If ya’lls wedding is so close and it’s only one night! shesh! Surely she needs a break from all that planning anyway right??

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