- 5 years ago
- Wedding: August 2012
Even though I asked everyone to NOT to include strippers in my bridal celebrations, i should of know it would happen.
My family members through me an awesome party and my cousin though it would be a great idea to bring a stripper into the picture. I really did not mind because it was all family, and nothing out of the normal dance routine happened, plus i know my fiance well enough to know that he wouldn’t have got upset with me because we are in a mature open communication, and loving relationship, and we have our mutual understandings on these kind of things.
Here are the details……
My party ended at 10pm and shortly after my brothers arrived with my fiance, so i thought that the night was over. In the mist of me saying my good byes to all my guest i didn’t stay close by to know where in the house my fiance was, but next thing i go into the living room and my brothers and uncles are taking him to what they said at the time “strip club ” … I asked my fiance if that was true and he said ” I saw the pictures” and i didn’t get a chance to talk to him because all the boys took him.
I came back in the house and everyone (ladies) where upset asking how the men found out we had a stripper as apparently my aunt pointed at my bridesmaid and my other aunt got upset with her. I asked her it this was true and she quickly replied “he grabbed my phone and looked at them ” I was a little dizzy from the beverages so i simply went to the kitchen to call my fiance because i was concerned. I talked to him and he was completely not upset, and told me to go have fun and he’d see me soon…. etc
By the time i came back she had gone to the room, i went to see if she was okay and she seemed to be sleeping so i left it alone.
My entire family went off and started telling me that she wasn’t a good friend and that real friend wouldn’t have done that to me because it could have caused problems if he would of got upset. etc…
The next morning, noting was said, I guess she would bring anything up and then we could discuss it, but she didn’t mention much and we didn’t speak as much the entire way (4hr drive ) back home out of the ordinary. we were both a little hungover so maybe that had something to do with all the sleeping and silence.
My fiance made it clear that he never touched her phone. that he sat next to her and “how has it been going tonight” and she said good want to see pictures and started flipping through her phone. I already knew that because my 50 yr old quiet aunt had told me that but i just wanted to hear it from him. My fiance doesn’t really get along with her that way for him to do that so i thought the whole thing did not make sense. He feels that made she felt bad and attacked and that’s why she said that, esp. since she didn’t know anyone. He also said he sat next to her because there was an open seat and he didn’t see anything wrong with making small convo with my friend and that he felt bad she was by herself……
A little background: I’ve met her less than 2 years ago through a alumni dinner, i befriended her quickly because it’s hard to met people in a new city and she seemed welcoming. We hang out once in a while, and every time either us need a favor we are there for each other even when we go a couple months without seeing each other. I had a bridesmaid bail on me at the last minute and she was excited to be replacing her in my bridal party….
Strange things that i ignored in the past that come up to mind now: I did find it strange that allot of her sorority chapter i met a while back at an event she invited me to practically ignored us and denied us to sit with them. (esp. since i am a sister as well that had never met) first time i met sisters i considered rude.
– She has allot of guy friends, more than female friends
– other people that went to school with her told me she slept around with young people and no one liked her… i figured those were rumors
– We had to hide out at a wedding for a little bit because some man she dated wife apparently hated her … later she admitted to have dated him while he was married….
Anyhow those are just some of the things that came to mind after all the horrible example scenarios my family members gave me that could happen to me if i kept someone like her around… Again I am trying to give her the benefit of doubt, talk to her about everything that happened and maybe get passed this.
But I don’t want to make a wrong judgement call…. advice would help