(Closed) Bridesmaid showed my fiance Bachelorette party crazy Pictures!! Advice please

posted 5 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
3887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

I’m really confused— does your fiance even care that there was a stripper involved?

 

Post # 5
Member
3887 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Honestly it sounds like you may be creating drama that doesn’t need to be there— such a long post usually indicates that the writer is quite unhappy, but all the friend did was to show your fiance some photos that you yourself said weren’t going to upset him.  I’d tell the family to butt out, tell everyone who was at the party to lay off the cocktails, and just see over time how your friendship develops. 

Post # 6
Member
314 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Wow…that was a lot to get through. I agree with fishbone; your possibly creating drama where there is nothing to create it from. Her past shouldn’t affect your opinion of her unless it has affected you personally. If your finance didn’t care and you don’t care then that should be the end of it. It sounds like she was kinda like the 3rd wheel at this party and when your finance came in he was the only person she knew and probably started “nervous chattng.” She probably didn’t think the strippers were a big deal since your entire female family was there so shwoing your finace the pictures probably didn’t seem like a bad idea. If anyone should be blamed for the situation it’s the person who ordered the stripper after you had said no; that could have caused problems not the pictures (unless you planned on lieing about the stripper…forever).   

Post # 7
Member
3569 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

First of all I don’t get the issue is, it sound innocent enough on her part and your Fi doesn’t care. Second of all behavior you wouldn’t want shown to people shouldn’t be captured on film or better yet shouldn’t be done at all if you have a reason to be ashamed of it.

Finally you list bad things she done and “rumors” then ask us judge us on that wihtout listing her good behavior. After knowing her you should be able to judge for yourself if she a good friend. It seems to me you are stirring up drama and blowing things way out of proportion

Post # 8
Member
813 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: December 1969

Maybe your friend knew your fiance didn’t care, so she was just showing pictures from the night. To be honest, I had my bachelorette this weekend, didn’t want a stripper, they got me one, and I put all the pics on FB. My FI didn’t care, and all my friends knew that, which is why they got me one.

I’m sure she knew it was all innocent before she showed him pictures.

Post # 9
Member
5273 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

Some people, esp after a few adult cockatils, don’t really have the best frame of reference to think about what they are doing before they do it. 

I don’t think there was any ill will by her showing him the pictures, she prob thought it was funny and thought he would think it was funny too. 

I will say that 2 of my guy friends proceeded to tell me all the details that happened at my husband’s bachlor party and my husband just stood there in shock and said “why are you telling her this?” – but they know me and knew I wouldn’t be upset and instead laugh at him acting like a fool. Your BM prob felt the same way. 

Post # 10
Member
1141 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

Yeah I have to say I don’t get the issue. I guess its that she showed him the pics and then lied about how??? If he didn’t care then it really doesn’t matter. Either she’s a friend or she isn’t. There will be time for real drama later on.

Post # 11
Member
1253 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

It doesn’t sound like the pictures were incriminating or anything, you knew your FI wouldn’t be upset if he knew you had a stripper, and he wasn’t upset when he saw the photos.  It sounds to me like your family members are trying to create drama for no reason, don’t let them get you riled up at a friend for no reason.  No harm, no foul, right?

Post # 12
Member
7908 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012 - Pelican Grand Beach Resort

I’m not sure what the issue is either. I think you’re making too much of this whole situation.

Post # 13
Member
40 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2012

i don’t see the problem here. if you weren’t doing anything wrong who cares if your fiance saw the pics? i wouldn’t put any more thought into it.

Post # 15
Member
1284 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

I agree with all of the past posts. I don’t see the problem either. Worrying about a hypothetical is a waste of time.

Post # 16
Member
204 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

I can understand that it was inappropriate for her to show your fi the pics.  The issue seems to be (correct me if I’m worng) that you are worried that she might not be a loyal friend and that she may have some intention of sabotaging your relationship.  Or, that she may be trying to create some kind of connection with your fi that might become a problem later.  It sounds like these are the kinds of things your family is telling you she will do, and it’s freaking you out.

I think you should let the picture thing go, because it really isn’t a big deal and your fi isn’t upset at all.  And if you do have concerns that she might be disloyal or shady or something, then just don’t confide in her much or include her in really private things.  You can still be friends without being BFFs.  Don’t make it obvious or a big deal that you are distancing yourself from her, but dial it back to a level you are comfortable with until you can evaluate these things for yourself without the influence of your family.

The topic ‘Bridesmaid showed my fiance Bachelorette party crazy Pictures!! Advice please’ is closed to new replies.

Get our weekly roundup of the best of Weddingbee.
I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing.

Find Amazing Vendors