Post # 1
So I recently asked four of my close friends and my sister to be my bridesmaids. I am having a fairly casual wedding so I told them that as long as they stay in teh color pallet that I chose and pick a 50’s style sundress that they could choose whichever dress they want as long as I can approve it first. My sister has decided to start looking so I am sending her dresses to look at from Etsy, Anthropologie, and other stores almost daily and she has only liked one so far and it sold before she could get it. Every dress I send I say that I “love this dress and this it would look so great on you,” but she either doesn’t reply or says that because she doesn’t “love” it that she is going to keep looking. She also said that she’d rather not get anything from anthropologie because they are a bit “pricey” and they dont’ have anything that she loves. (Mind you that I spend more than the cost of those dresses on her wedding and did not like the dress at all, but I wore it because it was her wedding and that’s what she wanted.) I just feel kinda stuck and am starting to regret letting people choose their on dress. I feel like she’s being a bit selfish and I don’t know how to approach the situation without her getting upset with me.
How can I help her to realize that this is my wedding and she should be looking for stuff that looks good on her, but is within the style and color choice that I like?
Post # 3
I feel your pain. I let my sister/MOH pick her own dress since she’s not matching the other girls (light blue, rather than royal), but I don’t like what she picked very much. It’s not bad, I just think she could find something way more flattering. But I don’t know whether it’s worth making an issue.
If she was totally dragging her feet like your sister, I would approach her and gently say “Hey, I realize you’re having a hard time. It’s my wedding, so why don’t I take the pressure off and just pick something for you. I’m the one looking at the pictures for the rest of my life.”
Hmm. That’s not bad, maybe I’ll try that. Emphasis on approaching GENTLY since she can get quite the temper. Good luck!
Post # 4
This would be why I picked the dresses, my mom paid for them. I was going to pay for them but my mom wanted to so I let her.
I know that my MOH doesn’t love the dress, but I wanted them to match and this will look the best on all of them.
And if they never wear it again I don’t care as it wasn’t there money spent on it!
Post # 5
Yea, after a certain point in time, I would make an executive decision and say this is what you’re wearing. Then again, your wedding is not until 2012, so she has time to look around and really find something she loves. This is going to happen if you give her an option. If not, it will be done.
Post # 6
This is exactly why I *DIDN’T* do this. My MOH was very much a fan of doing the mis-matched dresses (she plans to do this for her own wedding), but I know for a fact that had I done that, I would have run into things like:
1. Girls picking the cheapest dress they can find just because it’s cheap.
2. My sister having *completely* different taste than me
3. Dealing with the headache of colors possibly not matching *at all*
I personally compromised and picked a designer, fabric, color, and length, and then let the girls pick their style within those perimeters.
It was much, much easier than letting them have full control.
Post # 7
Going through the same thing with my sister and her shoes. I wanted everyone in fuchsia shoes, even the flower girls have them. Not my sister. Nope I’m wearing silver. Um no you’re not. Anything I send her she doesn’t love. I thought I was being nice by saying they could get any shoes they wanted in that color but I guess it’d have been easier if I said ok this is what you’re getting.