Post # 1
i am a bridesmaid in a wedding. The bride just informed me just now that she wants all of the bridesmaids to make a 4 minute speech. This was news to me as all of the weddings I have been in, the speeches are only made by the Maid/Matron of Honor and best man.
i have no idea what to say and the worst part is I have 2 days to come up with something. Me and the bride were close growing up but not in the past 5 or 6 years.
Post # 2
That is pretty weird, and from a planning perspective, pretty time consuming! Guests will no doubt get bored and restless. Speaking from experience, I’m wondering if the bride would even notice if you make a toast instead of a speech? I doubt she’ll be counting the time! You may even want to get together with the other bridesmaids (not MOH) and see if they want to do a joint speech. I just coordinated my cousin’s wedding and 2 bridesmaids did a speech together and it was great!
Post # 3
Integrand55: I’ve seen the whole bridal party do speeches so it doesn’t seem weird to me, although it is odd to spring it on you last minute!
Keep it short and sweet (better for you and the guests!) If you’re a naturally funny person, throw a few funny anecdotes in there, if not, take a more heartfelt approach.
Four minutes is actually quite a long time, I highly doubt the bride will be timing you so she probably won’t even notice if you cut it down just a little 😉
Post # 4
So strange! Plus, 4 minutes is long before even considering how many people have to talk! I was Maid/Matron of Honor a couple weeks ago and only did 3 minutes!
I’d just introduce yourself/how you know eachother, try to share a cute/funny story, say how great the bride is, how happy your are for them and toast. Done. Likely under 4 minutes with will probably be to the pleasure of the wedding guests.
Post # 5
Integrand55: How many bridesmaids (including MOH) are there? If there are more than 2, then this is going to get way too long. Also it’s not fair to only give you 2 days’ notice. Is it possible to talk some sense into the bride, that this isn’t a great idea? Or just flat out refuse, pointing out there will be plenty of speeches anyway? She can hardly kick you out now – they just skip over you in the speeches, easy.
Otherwise, like RedWine13: suggests, stories work best, because they’re easier and more natural to tell. Quick introduction and a cute/funny story. Especially if it’s from a time only you know the bride (e.g. middle school or wherever). And whatever you do, don’t make the story involve another boy. It should be funny and a little embarassing, but not scandalous.
Post # 6
Thank you everyone for the advice. I am just a little nervous because this is so last minute! She told me yesterday when I went to drop something off to her that she forgot to tell me but she wanted a speech! I agree with all of you and think keeping it short and simple will be the best thing here.
aussiemum1248: There are 3 bridesmaid and then the Maid/Matron of Honor. She also wants a speech from each groomsmen so in total that will be 8 speeches including everyone! We grew up together and we went up to the first year of highschool together so that is really where I am going to draw from.
All of the “what am I going to say” questions have been hiding the fact that I am a bit afraid of public speaking! Hopefully I won’t sound too much of an idiot
Post # 7
That’s absurd — she has eight people giving toasts, at four minutes each? As a guest, I’d be ignoring them, quietly chatting at my table if I was in the back, drinking, or eating during the thirty-two minutes of proposed speeches.
Do a quick toast. All the guests will thank you!
Post # 8
Agreed with the previous posters – the best way to:
a) speed things up for the benefit of everyone attending the wedding, and
b) say something that you can get through pretty easily
is to make a short toast. Just a couple sentences about how much you love her, how happy you are for them, and then just raise your glass and toast it up.
Post # 9
JiminyCricket: I completely agree with you! Apparently the groom actually suggested to her that 8 speeches is far too much and that people will be bored but she is really set on this idea.
geneva2: I think mine will be more of a toast in the end. I don’t see what I can say that will be vastly different than everyone else. Just hope she is alright with the shortness of it!
Post # 10
Integrand55: Ooh, one thing though. It’s possible the entire wedding party also just got this memo. Communicate with them and make sure you don’t ALL do the same toast. If you all had the same thing in mind, then maybe suggest to get up all together and say something nice and scripted together, short still (maybe 4 minutes total all together) and ending in a toast.
Post # 11
geneva2: that’s a great idea. I emailed them just now
Post # 12
Lurkers – this is why you don’t ask people to give speeches. If they wanted to give a toast, they would volunteer.
OP, the bride is being rude and unreasonable. No one should give a “speech” at a wedding. Speeches are for political rallies, not weddings. A toast should be no longer than two minutes. I would nod and smile politely, then give a brief toast wishing them the best. What is she going to do, stand up and demand you continue talking for another 4 minutes?
Post # 13
Besides the point that all of her guests are going to hate life (guests rarely care about the speeches, let alone 8!), I know how it feels to hate public speaking. I was the Maid/Matron of Honor for my friend a couple weeks ago and thought I was going to die. Since your not the Maid/Matron of Honor I wouldn’t put too much emphasis on it. Just talk about how you’ve known the bride for years, she’s a wonderful person, you’re happy she found the man of her dreams, and you wish them many years of happiness. Short and sweet.
Post # 14
Make as short and sweet as possible.I don’t know if I would even go 2 min. With it because there is so many people giving speeches. People get bored with speeches.
Something like they look stunning, You’re glad they picked you to be part of their day! etc etc.
Post # 15
You could read a poem, which can be short and sweet – and very thoughtful at the same time.