(Closed) bridesmaid taking over when she’s in my presence

posted 8 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
1765 posts
Buzzing bee

I guess I would say, just either ignore her comments and move along with what you are doing, or maybe say, gee Thanks for the idea, I’ll think about that, and do what you want.  As far as having the shortest BM (her) away from you, I would have your photographer help with that.  Let the photographer know what you want.  (Then if you end up not wanting her in any photos, she will be easier to crop out! )  lol  I hope this all works out for you.  🙂

Post # 4
Member
767 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

She really might just think she is being helpful. I’m in a friends wedding and I kept suggesting things until I realized I should probably wait until she asks for help. Just tell her “Thanks for the advice, but I think I already have that covered.” Just let her know firmly that you’ve already decided on XY&Z and you don’t really need suggestions and that she should support your decisions.  

Post # 5
Member
7771 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2010

Hm.  I am related to a lot of people like this.  I would just say what you want, and then forget about everybody else’s problems.  These kinds of people will overpower you, so you have to just do what you want, and sort of tune out the rest.

PS- I think shortest to tallest is the most aesthetically pleasing- tell her that!

Post # 7
Member
837 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

I would say just ignore her.  When people give their advice they often think they are helping when really they are just being annoying.  Nod and say “I’ll take that into consideration” and then do what you want lol.  And for the record, saying that you “threw one out” doesn’t make you sound very nice….  So I hope you didn’t mean it that way!  Good luck!

Post # 8
Member
231 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: January 2011

Oh my god… my FSIL is just like that… I vent about her any chance I get in here, it keeps my sanity LOL.

But yeah, you HAVE to put your foot down. It won’t look awkward if she stomps her feet over it– you won’t look bad, she will. 

YOU HAVE TO STAND YOUR GROUND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I learned this from this experience with my FSIL from hell… considering it a lifelong lesson to not allow yourself to be intimidated or -controlled-.

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