Bridesmaid Tragically passed away

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 2
Member
1750 posts
Buzzing bee

I think having a picture of her attached to your bouquet would be nice and not overwhelming. You could even add a flower to your bouquet that’s different from the other flowers, specifically for her. In fact, if you have floral centerpieces you could put a flower into all of them.  

I think having her bouquet and picture up would be too sad and mournful. She will be on lots of people’s minds already, so something smaller and less obvious, but still very meaningful, seems better to me. 

Post # 3
Member
357 posts
Helper bee

Nikkimcq:  make sure to make a speech. Yes, it might seem too sad but it’s the best way to honor her. I’m very sorry for your loss.

I’m planning to do something similar (immediate family) and honor them the right way. 

Post # 4
Member
230 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

No advice just wanted to say I’m very sorry for your loss .

Post # 7
Member
357 posts
Helper bee

Nikkimcq:  yeah, make your speech light hearted in a way you think it will make her smile in heaven, then thats the best speech.

Post # 8
Member
6884 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!

I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my dad and I incorporated him into my ceremony in 2 ways. One was by simply pinning his picture to my bouquet – in this way I could feel like he was there with me.

The second way was during the ring warming ceremony. The rings were passed in a box that contained a half of a crystal (the other half was buried with him). As the rings were passed thru the bridal party the officiant said some words about my dad and how he would’ve wished us well, and although he couldn’t be physically present he’s inside our hearts. I know that the box/crystal thing is REALLY specific – but.. maybe you could wear one of her necklaces? Or carry a bouquet of her favorite flower? Maybe place a bouquet and leave an empty spot where she would have stood (that might be really hard, emotionally). 

Post # 9
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Nikkimcq:  I think PP’s have offered some lovely ideas. I think its up to you to decide what level of ackowledgement is enough/too much for you all on the day. It will be a bitter sweet day no matter what.

I can’t imagine what you’re going through, i’m so sorry for your loss xx

Post # 11
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

Nikkimcq:  I totally understand, it’s so hard to know right now and its all still very new and probably quite overwhelming to deal with.

Are you usually quite open with your emotions and feelings? Would you be the type of person who would want to publicly ackowledge how you’re feeling with a speech or would you prefer to do it in a more subtle way like the bouquet idea? My FI and I are quite different like that, if it was me I would be quite open about it, if it was him in that situation, he’d do something very subtle.

Even if you did talk about her in a speech, you probably don’t need to go in to a lot of detail if you think it would be too hard, just an acknowledgement that you wish she could have been there but you will always keep her in your heart, something along those lines?

I’ve also seen (I think on Pinterest?) a lovely tribute a bride had to her mum with a little framed message and a candle that stayed lit for the ceremony and reception to honor her. I’m sure whatever you decide on will be beautiful and special. I’m sure she would appreciate just being in your thoughts on your special day

 

Post # 12
Member
3637 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

Rhopalocera:  I adore the idea of having one specific flower in the bouquet and any other arrangements that is just for her. What a wonderful suggestion. Subtle and appropriate. 

Post # 13
Member
1826 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2013

I like the ideas from PPs but I would also add that I would go to her FI and parents and talk to them.  I would say that I would love to honour her and share with them your ideas but I would leave the final decision to them that way theybwould be prepared ahead of time and you wouldn’t be unknowingly upsetting them. 

Post # 14
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

Oh my gosh–I don’t have any ideas, but I just wanted to say I am so, so sorry for your loss! ::Hugs::

  • This reply was modified 2 years, 8 months ago by  MrsYokiman.
Post # 15
Member
15 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: October 2014 - le parker meridien

this is heartbreaking, Nikki. So sorry to hear that. I like all the ideas shared but have actually (unfortunately) seen this happen before w/ someone in the bridal party and they put a small but lovely photo frame on the table of the bridal party– so wherever you sit w/ your bridesmaids / groom etc she’s at the table and part of the festivity in a way symbolically. with the candles / flowers you may have it comes off more celebration than ‘vigil’ and i was just really touched w/ how it felt in the other similar situation i had seen. just a thought! the locket / private quieter idea is great too. maybe have someone help you plan for both and then see what feels right on the fly. 

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