Post # 1
One of my best friends passed away three weeks ago tomorrow.
I have never lost anyone close before and the feeling of loss is an understatement. She was so excited to be my Bm and noe to feel that loss all over again not being able to have her at the wedding. anywho, I could gI on for hours.
i have been racking my brain about an appropriate way to commemorate her at the wedding. Her fiancé and her parents will be there…so I don’t want to toss the sadness everywhere since it will be so heavy already.
i was thinking of havkng a picture of her and her bouquet in the entrance room but yet I feel that’s too distant. ( beautiful fire place room lit with candles) or a small table beside our picture wall?
Post # 2
I think having a picture of her attached to your bouquet would be nice and not overwhelming. You could even add a flower to your bouquet that’s different from the other flowers, specifically for her. In fact, if you have floral centerpieces you could put a flower into all of them.
I think having her bouquet and picture up would be too sad and mournful. She will be on lots of people’s minds already, so something smaller and less obvious, but still very meaningful, seems better to me.
Post # 3
Nikkimcq: make sure to make a speech. Yes, it might seem too sad but it’s the best way to honor her. I’m very sorry for your loss.
I’m planning to do something similar (immediate family) and honor them the right way.
Post # 4
No advice just wanted to say I’m very sorry for your loss .
Post # 5
Rhopalocera: really like this idea. Thank you. i so agree with you thought of bouquet and picture being too much. I got a Lockett with her picture fory bouquet but I think adding in one cores one for her would be nice 🙂 thank you for ur honesty and thoughts!
Barely_Blush: sorry for your loss as well. I didn’t even think of a speech but I think that is a good idea. Just worried I would be a mess. If I kept it short and sweet and in my thank you portion tI my bm’s… I like 🙂
Post # 7
Nikkimcq: yeah, make your speech light hearted in a way you think it will make her smile in heaven, then thats the best speech.
Post # 8
- Wedding: March 2014 - A castle!
I’m sorry for your loss. I lost my dad and I incorporated him into my ceremony in 2 ways. One was by simply pinning his picture to my bouquet – in this way I could feel like he was there with me.
The second way was during the ring warming ceremony. The rings were passed in a box that contained a half of a crystal (the other half was buried with him). As the rings were passed thru the bridal party the officiant said some words about my dad and how he would’ve wished us well, and although he couldn’t be physically present he’s inside our hearts. I know that the box/crystal thing is REALLY specific – but.. maybe you could wear one of her necklaces? Or carry a bouquet of her favorite flower? Maybe place a bouquet and leave an empty spot where she would have stood (that might be really hard, emotionally).
Post # 9
Nikkimcq: I think PP’s have offered some lovely ideas. I think its up to you to decide what level of ackowledgement is enough/too much for you all on the day. It will be a bitter sweet day no matter what.
I can’t imagine what you’re going through, i’m so sorry for your loss xx
Post # 10
Thanks all! Your thoughts and words really do mean the world.
Miss_E_xx: my issue is, I don’t know how to address this correctly if there is a right waY. I’m scared of it being too much or not enougH. But I guess when the day comes I may know what is right.
FutureDrAtkins: I actually got the earrings she bought to wear for my wedding 🙂 and will be doing a charm on the bouquet that I can wear as a Lockett after. Thank you for your ideas. Sorry to hear about your loss.
Post # 11
Nikkimcq: I totally understand, it’s so hard to know right now and its all still very new and probably quite overwhelming to deal with.
Are you usually quite open with your emotions and feelings? Would you be the type of person who would want to publicly ackowledge how you’re feeling with a speech or would you prefer to do it in a more subtle way like the bouquet idea? My FI and I are quite different like that, if it was me I would be quite open about it, if it was him in that situation, he’d do something very subtle.
Even if you did talk about her in a speech, you probably don’t need to go in to a lot of detail if you think it would be too hard, just an acknowledgement that you wish she could have been there but you will always keep her in your heart, something along those lines?
I’ve also seen (I think on Pinterest?) a lovely tribute a bride had to her mum with a little framed message and a candle that stayed lit for the ceremony and reception to honor her. I’m sure whatever you decide on will be beautiful and special. I’m sure she would appreciate just being in your thoughts on your special day
Post # 12
Rhopalocera: I adore the idea of having one specific flower in the bouquet and any other arrangements that is just for her. What a wonderful suggestion. Subtle and appropriate.
Post # 13
I like the ideas from PPs but I would also add that I would go to her FI and parents and talk to them. I would say that I would love to honour her and share with them your ideas but I would leave the final decision to them that way theybwould be prepared ahead of time and you wouldn’t be unknowingly upsetting them.
Post # 14
Oh my gosh–I don’t have any ideas, but I just wanted to say I am so, so sorry for your loss! ::Hugs::
Post # 15
- Wedding: October 2014 - le parker meridien
this is heartbreaking, Nikki. So sorry to hear that. I like all the ideas shared but have actually (unfortunately) seen this happen before w/ someone in the bridal party and they put a small but lovely photo frame on the table of the bridal party– so wherever you sit w/ your bridesmaids / groom etc she’s at the table and part of the festivity in a way symbolically. with the candles / flowers you may have it comes off more celebration than ‘vigil’ and i was just really touched w/ how it felt in the other similar situation i had seen. just a thought! the locket / private quieter idea is great too. maybe have someone help you plan for both and then see what feels right on the fly.